Skip to content

Video of the Day: The Marlins Ballpark home run feature is alive

Mar 26, 2012, 8:00 AM EDT

Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL home run feature:


Look, I know we all want to make fun of this thing. But am I crazy, or is this one of those so-bad-it’s-good things?  Are we going to be looking back at this in a few years and think “man, that thing is pretty cool.” Sort of like we do with high pants and stirrups, the Houston Astros’ old uniforms, mustaches and the like.

I’m not joking. I bet we embrace this thing at some point.

(video via Allison)


  1. bsbiz - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:14 AM

    Well, it’s no wave. So it’s got that going for it. Which is nice.

    • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 3:30 PM

      Yeah, but that poor guy hiding under the near side of that thing on your left is liable to stress fracture his wrist when the Tigers come in….

  2. JBerardi - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    Your tax dollars at work, Miami-Dade county.

    • cur68 - Mar 26, 2012 at 12:02 PM

      If it was a decent piece of artwork, I think I’d overlook the tax thing. But it is simply, utterly, beyond all hope, hideous. Unlike Craig, I think we’ll look back on this waste of tax money and space and know, for a fact, that being feckless is no barrier to being rich and there is nothing so grotesque that some rich guy wouldn’t spend someone else’s money on it.

  3. stex52 - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:27 AM

    It reminds me a of some of the pinball games we used to play when I was a kid. A looong time ago…
    I kind of like it. If it doesn’t make all of the left-handers strike out, I would keep it. But I thought the players were complaining.

    • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:48 AM

      I hereby bestow the pet name “Tommy” on that thing for all future reference – because in part of stex52’s equation of it with a pinball feature, and also because Scrooge McLoria is deaf, dumb and blind to taste.

      • stex52 - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:16 AM

        Wish I’d thought of that first. Your time frame is also in the right area.

  4. Gobias Industries - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:31 AM

    Even after the seizure I just had, I admit that that’s kinda cool.

    I’m gonna watch it again right now, hopefully seizure-free. Uh oh, here it comes againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  5. whatthehellisansky - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:33 AM

    Do the Tigers play Miami this season? I wanna hear what Jimmy Leyland thinks of that thing. Im sure that’ll be one hell of an answer.

    • billb59 - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:09 PM

      I agree I would love to hear Leyland’s comment(s) on that Whateveritis

  6. mybrunoblog - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:38 AM

    It is a cool attraction that I’m sure the 10,000 fans who attend most marlins games will come to love.

  7. frankvzappa - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:38 AM

    I would like to come up with something clever to say, but any fun with words would take away from the simple fact that this is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen.

    How many people does it take to conceive, design, and construct something like this? And not a single one of them stopped for a minute to realize the magnitude of the heinous monstrosity they were attempting to unleash upon the world?

    • paperlions - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:00 AM

      Oh, I’m sure pretty much everyone in the manufacturing process realized exactly how ugly the thing was going to be…but when you are paid to do a job, you just do it, keep your mouth shut (or lie about how great it turned out) and cash the check.

    • phukyouk - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:36 AM

      Remember when Homer designed a car for his Brothers company? yea……

      • nightman13 - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:43 AM

        Hey, the horn played La Cucharacha, that was pretty sweet

  8. Jonny 5 - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    Very few and far between would be a good bet on how much we see that think fired up anyway.

  9. Francisco (FC) - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    I bet it even has hieroglyphics that point to the origin of man in outer space…

  10. Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:45 AM

    The horror. The horror.

    Tell you what, though: it’d be OK with me if they activated this Grand Guignol monstrosity every time Slobbering Ozzie runs out on the field and throws one of his infantile tantrums. You’d have that hideous thing going off in the outfield and Ozzie going off in the infield. Pretty soon, you’d need to ask yourself which one was impersonating the other.

    • Francisco (FC) - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:06 AM

      I’m sure if Cthulu stared at the thing IT would go insane….

      • stex52 - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:22 AM

        Shades of Lovecraft! You think we’d better dissolve it in acid?

      • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 1:05 PM

        You know, come to think of it, that conical shape….Tommy kinda does resemble the starfish-headed conical creatures from At the Mountains of Madness, doesn’t he? He also kinda resembles the creature from It Conquered the World:

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Mar 26, 2012 at 11:53 AM

      Gator, if that happened, I think the insanity would make me laugh hysterically while my brain slowly oozes out of my ears.

  11. RickyB - Mar 26, 2012 at 8:50 AM

    What I want to know is which of Graham Chapman, Eric Idle or Terry Gilliam designed this thing?

    • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 3:24 PM

      Terry Gilliam did the lion’s share of the Pythons’ special effects and animation so if Tommy had erupted from one of their fevered brains, Gilliam would have to be the one. Incidentally, Terry can show you how to foment a travesty like that yourself:

  12. Chris St. John - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:01 AM

    It seems really slow and uneventful. Maybe it will be different during an actual game, but nothing happens fast enough on it to celebrate the home run that just happened. Granted there’s a lot of color and that spinning marlin on top is weird, but it’s just…meh.

    I’m also looking forward to the first time the water cannons don’t time up perfectly with the marlins that are rotating around the main section.

    • cur68 - Mar 26, 2012 at 12:08 PM

      You got a point: its got lots if moving parts, but no real fizz to its display. That thing’s gonna plotz by July, especially if Giancarlo Stanton is as good with the lumber as Mike Stanton was.

      • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 3:27 PM

        I wonder if it’s saving up a special round of toots, honks and blinks for when the Iron Giant actually hits it with a line drive.

        Might could happen, ye know….

      • cur68 - Mar 26, 2012 at 3:35 PM

        I predict catastrophic structural failure when The Iron One smacks one into it. Not unlike the lights when Roy Hobbs takes that shot into them at the end of The Natural.

  13. sknut - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:04 AM

    I am not sure what the heck I just watched, I feel like I am in some sort of trance now and the Marlins can control my brain and I can do their bidding.

    • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 4:42 PM

      Now turn your pockets inside out and empty all of your luxury tax earnings on the floor at your accountant’s feet…..

  14. berseliusx - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:10 AM

    I’ve got a bad feeling about this…

    • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 4:42 PM

      Uh oh. You ate the feesh, didn’t you?

  15. bravojawja - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    I’d be more impressed if the Weeki Wachee mermaids did a routine in the aquarium behind home plate.

  16. badmamainphilliesjamas - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    I’m with Craig and Stex on this one. Clearly, nobody was thinking, “let’s decorate the outfield with some tasteful artwork,” but it did make me laugh. Now, if I can only find a pinball arcade…

  17. b7p19 - Mar 26, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    I think it’s fantastic.

    • antlerclaws - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:43 AM

      Fantastic? Or…..FABULOUSSSS!!!!

  18. anotheryx - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    The light at the end just killed me.

  19. 1972wasalongtimeago - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    It’s like “It’s a Small World on LSD”.

    • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 1:07 PM

      And Scar would have hated Tommy as well.

  20. Chipmaker - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    Perhaps some doughty rebels will come along and blow it up. One photon torpedo into the unshielded thermal port oughta do it.

  21. El Bravo - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:25 AM

    That thing is soooooo Miami…

  22. hammyofdoom - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:26 AM

    Okay to be fair I myself think this thing is stupid…but if it IS going to work anywhere, Miami would be the place

  23. granted42 - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:32 AM

    I predict that “Tommy” will be dead and gone in five years as a small semblance of reason will find its way into the powers that be. That, and the over abundance of ridicule from the rest of the world will finally cause the demise of this monstrosity.

    • Old Gator - Mar 26, 2012 at 12:56 PM

      Los Angelinos with graying hair may remember the rotating huge Bullwinkle statue in front of Jay Ward Productions on Sunset, which stopped rotating because years of Hell’s Angels pissing on its pedestal eventually corroded the gears.


      The humidity in Macondo might eventually have the same effect, and Tommy might just rust out.

  24. qcubed3 - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    A little understated for Miami

  25. nightman13 - Mar 26, 2012 at 10:44 AM

    To quote Samir from Office Space:

    “It is horrible, this idea.”

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. D. Wright (3155)
  2. G. Stanton (2553)
  3. M. Teixeira (2481)
  4. H. Olivera (2402)
  5. Y. Cespedes (2383)
  1. J. Fernandez (2351)
  2. K. Medlen (2179)
  3. Y. Puig (2128)
  4. G. Perkins (2083)
  5. J. Eickhoff (2059)