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Ozzie Guillen is a butt man

Mar 29, 2012, 9:38 AM EDT

Ozzie Guillen Getty Getty Images

I’m not even joking.  Ozzie did a Twitter interview with GQ — you can read it here — and they specifically asked him if he prefers the T or the A. And he went with A. Well, C, but that’s just because the question was in Spanish:

@GQ: ¿Prefieres tetas o culo?
@OzzieGuillen: Prefiero culo. Gracias a dios mi esposa tiene uno y siempre lo a tenido

Ozzie is saying that he’s thankful that his wife has always had a nice tush.  Aww, love.

There are a lot more questions there — in English — with Ozzie being Ozzie.  He talks about Cake Boss.  He talks about his love of Bed Bath and Beyond.  He even, believe it or not, talks a little about baseball.  He says he loves Kenny Powers, but that it’s wrong to compare Carlos Zambrano to that kind of crazy as Zambrano “acts like a priest” off the field. OK.

Hate on Ozzie all you want, but he’s damn fun. I’d take him over the guy managing my team seven days a week.

  1. Ryan - Mar 29, 2012 at 9:44 AM

    That immediately brought to mind this (Ozzie just needs it in Florida plates): http://www.chevroletpedia.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/seinfeld2.jpg

  2. cur68 - Mar 29, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    Yup, baseball’s more fun with Ozzie. He’s just about the only manager in MLB who you could ask questions like that of and get a non-boring answer.

    • Old Gator - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:12 AM

      Rallying the lowlives for the cause, eh, Oz? Okay, we get that your wife has a nice tush. Does she have any dignity? We already know that you don’t.

      • cur68 - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:03 AM

        Now, now. We disagree on the relative merits of the Ozzie, Gator (and the DH, and the running over of Posey, stuff which you’re all wrong about, by the way) but you have to admit: Ozzie is not boring.

        Anyhow, do we take Ozzie’s word for it on the wife? I demand pictures or it didn’t happen.

      • wendell7 - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:32 AM

        All I could find. She does appear to have tush AND dignity

        http://www.terezowens.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/6a00d8341c58f853ef0133f4407691970b.jpg

      • Old Gator - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:49 AM

        I’m willing to agree to disagree about the running over of Posey but on the matter of the DH, no, we will carry that brouhahah to our respective tumuli.

        As far as his wife’s dignity, if I spoke so vulgarly in public about mine and she didn’t leave me, I’d have to wonder. I would point out too that whatever dignity they might both have between them – and I’m doubtful about that – they sure didn’t communicate it to their kids.

        Same goes for literacy…

  3. stex52 - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:00 AM

    Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said “butthead.” Too easy.

  4. Jonny 5 - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    Aren’t we all butt men when it comes down to it? My wife still has a super fine posterior, for that I’m very thankful.

    • rollinghighwayblues - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:22 AM

      Count me out. I like nice proportions of both the T and A but I am certainly more favorable to the top half.

      • Jonny 5 - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:38 AM

        You sir are still a butt man. It just so happens you like the upstairs more. It’s like saying you’re not an ice cream man because you like pie better.

  5. hasbeen5 - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    Pic of his wife or it didn’t happen.

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Mar 29, 2012 at 12:01 PM

      Look a few comments above.

      • hasbeen5 - Mar 29, 2012 at 1:55 PM

        I said it first.

      • cur68 - Mar 29, 2012 at 3:08 PM

        True, true, but I did an end run around your saying it first and cleverly affixed my saying it 2nd to a comment before yours, thus saying it first, 2nd, see? However, in light of that fact that Mrs. Ozzie is a bit of a looker, and she appears to be as well proportioned as Ozzie claims, I’d say we both win.

  6. lessthanittakes - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:10 AM

    “asked him if he prefers the T or the A. And he went with A. Well, C, but that’s…”
    Wow. I went a whole *different* direction there for a second.

    • Old Gator - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:14 AM

      You weren’t wrong. “Culo” can be…er…broadened (semantically) the way “ass” can be metonymically expanded to include what’s just around the other side from it, as in “piece of.”

      • stex52 - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:57 AM

        Las piernas por mi. But, as you say, a little north where everything comes together is nice, too.

    • soupbone27 - Mar 30, 2012 at 11:16 AM

      what about the P. not the female P mind you, the male P. is he a helmet or turtleneck guy,
      how bout length over girth. his feelings on it’s presentation, jockstrap or thong, flaccid or erect.
      inquiring minds want to know. could this be the reason he’s an A man!!

  7. Old Gator - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:10 AM

    I would like to be able to say that my ex-wife had a wonderful personality. Ah, well.

  8. phisticuffs - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    This is perhaps one of the most important questions of our time. Much better to focus on that, than the typical “pie or cake” frivolity that we see here. Just for the record though, cake kicks pie’s ass.

    • Jonny 5 - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:39 AM

    • cur68 - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:05 AM

      Totally agree, phist. Ignore that pie based miscreant, J5.

  9. koufaxmitzvah - Mar 29, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    Another t-shirt moment brought to you by Hardball Talk:

    “¿Prefieres tetas o culo?

    ¡Culo, M@&$%F*@^R!”

    • cur68 - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:05 AM

      Yes, I’ll be needing one of these shirts, too….

      • Old Gator - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:54 AM

        Just send one to Ozzie. He is sufficiently lacking in ambient awareness to wear one to a press conference.

        On the brighter side, Mitz, I am today frying up my pre-Pesach practice batch of latkes. I’m probably a little rusty and they need to be perfect by next week. FYI we also usher in the pre-leaven-ban period with a charoseth pie – apples, walnuts, a dark purple Concord grape wine which is undrinkable but adds wondrous dimensions to a pie when the apples, walnuts, nutmeg and cinnamon are ground together with it – and of course my signature handmade multigrain crust (whole wheat, oats and spelt).

        And you cake people, no comments please. You would be infringing on my religious rights.

      • stex52 - Mar 29, 2012 at 11:58 AM

        We should agree to do it as a group. Any real blogger to this site should be all in.

      • koufaxmitzvah - Mar 29, 2012 at 12:54 PM

        Sounds real good, Gator. Ever put some latkes on a burger? Meat and potatoes kosher all-American style.

      • cur68 - Mar 29, 2012 at 1:06 PM

        Stop it! I’m on a diet! You guys are killing me…

      • ajcardsfan - Mar 29, 2012 at 1:02 PM

        Same as cur, think we could start a club with Ozzie as our mascot?

      • Old Gator - Mar 29, 2012 at 2:42 PM

        Latkes on a burger. Wow. They make fried potato sandwiches in England called “chip butties” (nice thematic continuity here, no?) and once in awhile I saw folks putting some of that trademark tasteless English roast beef on them, but I tell you what – I am going to take one of my 2012 prototype latkes up to the Luna Star Cafe tonight and let the lissome Brie serve me a burger which I will thenceforth so adorn, and report back (urrrrpppp – ‘scuse me) in the morning.

        Incidentally, as far as mascots, I already have Friendo, who just shed and added his third button and can now serenade me with a dulcet buzzzzzz. I don’t need a mascot that goes schplosshhhh when he wiggles his tail.

      • 24missed - Mar 29, 2012 at 9:31 PM

        I never knew.

        I also need that explanation of the whole cake vs. pie thing. I just don’t get it. Maybe because I’m female or oblivious.

      • cur68 - Mar 30, 2012 at 1:35 AM

        Well, its ’cause we like to argue. We like to argue about really, really, really trivial things. Craig, being sensitive to this, poses random questions in the off season to keep us all amused. Off season 2010, round about November or December, he came out about liking pie over cake. Factions formed. Lines were drawn. Sides chosen. The heathen pie eaters on one side. The virtuous and sweet smelling cake lovers on the other. So it has been ever since.

        Other topics that cause random arguing include: -ketchup: in the fridge or not, upside down or right side up?
        -Batman v Superman: who wins?
        -Aquaman: hero or putz?
        -DH or no DH?
        -LaRussa: genius or crazed control freak?
        -Phillie Phans: sane or just basically a city of trolls?
        …and so on.

      • 24missed - Mar 30, 2012 at 2:59 PM

        Cur,

        I get the whole random fighting about nonsense, but the pie/cake thing baffles me. I thought it was a kinda sexual thing. Like a preference, sort of like the T&A or T vs. A but, I just don’t get the cake/pie thing, unless it is just random. And even then, I’ll not get it, but that’s that.

        And Batman vs. Superman? Wonderwoman kicks ass everytime.

        Sidenote: An ass man? More Cur trivia.

  10. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Mar 29, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    Miami will be very, very fun to watch this season. That’s all I know.

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