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Jayson Werth: 2011 will be “like a fart in the wind”

Apr 2, 2012, 9:36 AM EDT

Jayson Werth

And they say poetry is dead. Here’s Jayson Werth on putting his awful 2011 behind him:

“I feel confident about this season and this team and where I’m at and what I’ve done. Last year is just one year. I got six more years on this contract, and I plan on playing after this contract. I’ll look back and 2011 will be a fart in the wind.”

I assume he means that it will just disappear and bother him no longer. But anyone who knows anything is aware of the fact that a fart in the wind could have more lasting impact if you’re standing downwind. So, you know, be warned.

  1. groundruledoublebourbon - Apr 2, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    The Nats may consider going low-fiber with the pregame spread.

    • Old Gator - Apr 2, 2012 at 9:56 AM

      Considering that the volume of wind-farting in Washington probably deserves a blue scree treatment and some sort of special stat (you know, like Tor/Con) on the Weather Channel, with something like an 8/10 rating when congress is in session, it’s hard to imagine why the Gnats should even worry about detecting one from a guy as laconic as Werth.

  2. cltjump - Apr 2, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    Your ability to pick out pictures for the article is uncanny, Craig.

    • aceshigh11 - Apr 2, 2012 at 10:13 AM

      Incredible, isn’t it?

      • Old Gator - Apr 2, 2012 at 1:07 PM

        The elves leave them in his inbox while he sleeps.

  3. Old Gator - Apr 2, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    Craig is also right about the poetry angle. It’s alive and well. Werth’s pronouncement ranks right up there with “This is no country for old men,” “She sang beyond the genius of the sea,” “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness,” “Midway upon the journey of our life
    I found myself within a forest dark,” “Whan thet April with its shoores sote the drought of Marche hath perced to the rote” and “I sing of arms and the man.”

    However, it doesn’t quite rise to the level of Rizzuto:

    The Bridge
    Two balls and a strike.
    You know what they had on TV today, White?
    Bridge on the River Kwai.
    Everyone should have gotten an Academy Award for that movie.
    I don’t know how many times I’ve seen it.
    About forty times.
    Alec Guinness!
    William Holden!
    Three and one the count.
    I just heard somebody whistle.
    You know that song?
    That’s what they whistle.
    Nobody out.
    And he pops it up.

    Now that’s poetry.

    (from O Holy Cow: Poems by Phil Rizzuto. You’re only semi-literate if you haven’t read it.)

    • jimbo1949 - Apr 2, 2012 at 3:28 PM

      When I saw the title, The Bridge, first thing I thought of was Phil getting a head start over the GW to get home to Hillside & Cora.
      Thanks for the memories, Gator.

  4. dexterismyhero - Apr 2, 2012 at 10:10 AM

    Didn’t Kansas write that song? “fart in the wind”.

    • phillyphreak - Apr 2, 2012 at 10:29 AM

      You’re thinking of the Kansas tribute band Kanz-a$$.

  5. churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Apr 2, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    So is Werth saying he crawled through a river of shit smelling foulness he can’t even imagine, only to come out clean on the other side?

    • kiwicricket - Apr 2, 2012 at 11:39 AM

      *Shawshank ref. #1 2/4/2012

  6. pxeeks - Apr 2, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    Hey Werth, thanks for Pence.

  7. 1historian - Apr 2, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    I’m 68+ and farts (including my own) STILL make me laugh.

    I have so many fart stories that I don’t know where to begin.

    So I won’t.

    Thanks guys

  8. hardballtalkusername - Apr 2, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Couldn’t help but think of this classic scene, Werth must own Shawshank Redemption:

    • Kevin S. - Apr 2, 2012 at 6:34 PM

      Plus way more thumbs than I have to give you.

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