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HBT Extra: Looking ahead to the Opening Weekend matchups

Apr 5, 2012, 8:22 AM EDT

I don’t know why I capitalized Opening Weekend. It’s probably even a stretch to capitalize Opening Day, but I do it anyway. Whatever.

Anyway, Tiffany and I talked about a couple of the weekend series we’re watching. Note: the stuff about Brandon Belt was taped approximately 20 minutes before the Giants announced he made the team. Hooray for great timing.

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  1. spudchukar - Apr 5, 2012 at 8:34 AM

    No worries, not a “Capital Offense”, plus Baseball should always be capitalized.

  2. justinreds - Apr 5, 2012 at 8:42 AM

    Its ok to capitalize Opening Day. Its now officially a holiday here in Cincinnati.

  3. Francisco (FC) - Apr 5, 2012 at 8:44 AM

    “And that’s a wrap Craig!”, said Tiffany. “We’re finally back.”

    Craig sat back in his high chair, puffing a bubble or two on his pipe, before replying. “Indeed we are my dear Tiffany, this year promises to be even more entertaining than last year. The storylines, the players, ex-teammates facing each other. We already have the Ubaldo-Tulo feud at full speed.”

    “Oh, that reminds me,” said Tiffany, looking at her notes on a clipboard. “I did call Joe Torre and he said he’s doing his utmost to ensure Ubaldo’s suspension is upheld.”

    “Good man Joe, I despise these little beaning wars,” said Craig, biting on his bubble pipe. “There was a time for that, when Baseball was not the civilized sport it is today. In this day and age there is no place for 90+ mph fastballs potentially maiming baseball players. You want to watch athletes inflict pain on each other? There are other so-called sports you can watch for that.”

    Tiffany looked at her watch. “Well, I have to be going Craig, I’ll see you next time to record the next HBT Extra.” She said goodbye and her face disappeared from the screen.

    Craig leaned back in his chair, adjusting his bathrobe, rubbing his feet on the Phanatic rug. Opening Weekend. His large LED 71″ screen split into several smaller screens showing all the previews and highlights for the exciting match-ups. Pujols was on one screen, Fielder in another. Valentine with another straight-shooting unfortunate comment. Yeah, it’s no coincidence this week was Good Friday.

    “So, it has begun…”, he declared with anticipation.

    • cur68 - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:48 AM

      You gotta work the cat into these. Like Blofeld, another bald villain, the cat is essential to the ambiance. I bet it hisses & spits at the Phanatic rug.

      • Francisco (FC) - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:03 PM

        I thought you wanted a mongrel of disreputable breeding? :) Who knows, a white cat a la Dr. Claw might work…

      • cur68 - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:08 PM

        If it was me in the Lair, of course a dog. But he’s a cat guy, so I’ve been forced to adjust my mental tuning to accept his cat. Now all I can picture is Blofeld and his cat. Has to be a cat. With toast around his head.

      • Craig Calcaterra - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:10 PM

        Tis true. My cat’s name is George. He is usually near my feet when I tape those videos. And has jumped on my lap before, requiring a second take.

        George rocks. This is him:

      • cur68 - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:16 PM

        Handsome devil. He’s got the opposite head tilt to yours. Of course, to be perfectly accurate, he needs to be fluffy and white, but FC could easily work this out as a character flaw, like the need to bait Phillies Phans…can’t blame anyone for that last one, though. That’s like breathing that is.

      • phukyouk - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:30 PM

        CHROME FTW!

    • pauleee - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:27 PM

      FC – Have you collected all these gems in one spot for easy reading? If not, please do. :)

      • Jeremy T - Apr 5, 2012 at 1:08 PM

        Actually, I like his version there of this one better. Nice little bit about Craig not knowing what hockey is.

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