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Photo of the Day: A horrifying scene at Marlins Park

Apr 5, 2012, 10:30 AM EDT

Because there’s nothing better than taking a cool idea — Sausage Races — and beating it into the ground so thoroughly that you want to scream and then cry, the Miami Marlins are now doing it too.  With these … things:

source: AP

I’m not going to go into details, but the only time I ever saw a scene comparable to this one, I was sitting in a beanbag chair in a college dorm room, believing I could taste the music I was listening to.

  1. hushbrother - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    And then you realized you were looking in the mirror?

  2. sdelmonte - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    Dear lord.

    On the plus side, nothing else that any other team does will seem as bad now.

    • pauleee - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:20 PM

      This is no worse than the Rally Monkey. There, i said it.

  3. kiwicricket - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:39 AM

    As Macondo’s very own Sir David Attenborough…
    Over to you, Gator….

  4. nightman13 - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    I wish the Brewers would sue everybody that has ripped off the Sausage Race. All of the imposter races are awful.

  5. yashraba - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    is that a Sharktopus racing a Japanese cartoon?

    • startedin67 - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:33 PM

      Frankly, I’m not quite sure what ANY of them are. The reddish-orange one with the unsettling grin might be a sea horse? The lighter orange colored one is..a sea anemone? The blue one does look shark-like from this vantage point.

      But that purple one in the foreground…I dunno…kind of resembles one of those tentacle monsters normally found in adult anime? There you go. Have that purple one chasing around a bunch of the Brazilian dancers.

    • ajcardsfan - Apr 5, 2012 at 1:56 PM

      Apparently SportIllustrated knew what they were, “a crab, shark, octopus and a starfish.” Although I’d think that’s a seahorse over a starfish.

  6. David Kaleida - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    Seamonkeys!

  7. Jonny 5 - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    You’d think they’d have a cheerleader dressed up as Ariel. I mean c’mon guys!

    • cur68 - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:19 PM

      Goddamn, that’s a GREAT friggin’ idea…anyhow, it’ll ever happen, which is a tragic loss of a 2 seashell sighting for all mankind.

  8. chadjones27 - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    OH MY COD!

    • b7p19 - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:52 AM

      Thank you.

  9. hoopmatch - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    So what characters do you all think would be appropriate to race at other MLB venues?

    At Tigers games I envision a race of Detroit residents… to the suburbs.

  10. calbeartc - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    I never have understood all Marlins haters in the media. It seems like people take shots at the franchise whenever they can. Is it because they denied everyone a Cubs-Sox WS in 2003?

    • getlockedout - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:13 AM

      The sox weren’t in the WS in 2003, had more to do with Aaron flipping Boone then the Marlins…

    • b7p19 - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:55 AM

      You have to admit the past year has been a pretty rediculous time for the Marlins. I personally love it all, but it’s still very strange.

  11. southpaw2k - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:54 AM

    The running of the Presidents in DC isn’t too bad a carbon copy. This, however, is beyond creepy. That huge smile on the seahorse-looking thing is something that would give little kids nightmares.

    • dagnats - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:57 AM

      the prez race is cool…are they ever going to let Teddy win?!

      • hasbeen5 - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:04 AM

        I hope not.

        And the tool race at Turner (Home Depot sponsorship) is one of the worst.

      • Tim's Neighbor - Apr 5, 2012 at 3:16 PM

        Whoa, whoa, whoa. As a former racing Tool, I resent that. We were much better than the racing perogies during my season.

        B-Rush!

      • hasbeen5 - Apr 5, 2012 at 4:33 PM

        But the drill could be like 3 steps slower and still win because of the 6 foot bit sticking out of his head. Flawed, flawed competition.

  12. trevorb06 - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    I’m so glad the Twins don’t have a guy in a big Paul Bunyan costume riding a big costume blue ox racing some ridiculous pine tree or something.

    Oh god… I hope nobody from the Twins organization reads this comment and thinks, “Hey, that’s not a bad idea!”

    • Bryz - Apr 5, 2012 at 5:20 PM

      Their “race” is just a bunch of computer animated animals/things. I’m not a fan of it (I’d rather see actual costumed people race), but now I’ll take it over whatever the Marlins are attempting to do.

      • Bryz - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:24 PM

        And then I learn that the Twins have switched over to the people-in-costumes race. http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20120329&content_id=27728070&vkey=pr_min&c_id=min

  13. kiwicricket - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:22 AM

    Could of raced the Brazilian dancers instead.
    I hate you Jeffrey Loria.

  14. dodger88 - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    With

    “I was sitting in a beanbag chair in a college dorm room, believing I could taste the music I was listening to.”

    I think we have the quote of the day.

    • johninpa - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:47 AM

      I guess I missed that in college, sounds like fun though!

  15. Jeremy Fox - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:47 AM

    CANNOT UNSEE!!!!

  16. Gamera the Brave - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:49 AM

    I suspect that Gator is staying above the fray, because he can’t figure out how to comment on Craig’s post without noting that Craig ended a sentence with a preposition…

    • Old Gator - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:58 PM

      Oh I’m here alright. Above the fray? Hell no. I live by that great Irish enquiry, “Is this a private fight or can anyone join?” My entry into the fray may be viewed above.

  17. slavetothetrafficlight - Apr 5, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    Everything about these new Marlins is like a nightmare vision of the future of Major League Baseball. The only hope lies within the proles.

  18. Francisco (FC) - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    MY EYES! MY EYES!

    • Old Gator - Apr 6, 2012 at 12:33 PM

      ….Ray Milland?

  19. cereal blogger - Apr 5, 2012 at 12:36 PM

    Watching on TV I have to say the new park really reflects nicely on the cocaine fueled vibe of South Beach…flashing lights, lots of pink, neon greens,,,,LOL

  20. highlander24 - Apr 5, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    Maybe all of this was just for opening day, but this stadium seems like a big theme park and nothing but a distraction to the Marlins. It seems like baseball isn’t the main focus for the most part, at least not yet.

  21. schmedley69 - Apr 5, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    Sid and Marty Krofft would be proud.

    • snowbirdgothic - Apr 5, 2012 at 3:59 PM

      I was wondering where Sigmund the Friendly Sea Monster had gotten to. Now I know.

  22. xmatt0926x - Apr 5, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    I’m sorry. I guess I am missing something here with this new park. I’m sure it has all the latest technology and is a damn sight better than the old park but on TV it looks frigging ugly. may be I’m just used to the nostalgic look of most newer parks but the bright green fence and the tacky home run display just look awful. Based on that the sea life races fit right in. The tomb like atmosphere of the closed roof tops it all off.

  23. Bryz - Apr 5, 2012 at 5:22 PM

    Why don’t I see a deep blue ocean background here? Isn’t that why the Marlins chose to use a green screen as their outfield fence?

  24. illuminatemyfate - Apr 5, 2012 at 10:31 PM

    is that crash bandicoot?

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