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Help name the Marlins Park home run feature

Apr 17, 2012, 10:00 AM EDT

Houston Astros v Miami Marlins Getty Images

Our Old Gator has taken to calling the Marlins Park home run feature “Tommy,” in tribute to the Who’s rock opera (or, more likely, in tribute to the garish film version of it).  But Dave George of the Palm Beach Post is looking to formalize it a bit more:

I’m asking the creative and the cranky out there to submit potential nicknames for the merry monster of Marlins Park. The best suggestions will be mentioned in an upcoming column so don’t forget to include your name and city for proper credit.

Let me hear from you by e-mailing me, sending a letter to The Palm Beach Post at P.O. Box 24700, West Palm Beach, Fla., 33416-4700.

I’d write in with “Fidel” or something, but that would probably lead to me having to offer a tearful apology and finding myself suspended for five days.  The rest of you can just do your best. Or, preferably, your worst.

  1. koufaxmitzvah - Apr 17, 2012 at 11:30 AM

    The Fountain of You’ve Got to Be Kidding

  2. quizguy66 - Apr 17, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    The Vomitorium.

  3. quizguy66 - Apr 17, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    My humbler suggestion is what it really like. Just call it the “Shooting Gallery”


  4. quizguy66 - Apr 17, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    My humbler suggestion is what it really looks like. Just call it the “Shooting Gallery”


  5. quizguy66 - Apr 17, 2012 at 11:41 AM

    Ugh, wish these sites would just let you edit your posts. Sorry about the double up there.


  6. tomtravis76 - Apr 17, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    The Albert Hofmann

    • nelsonsaint - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:07 PM

      The white bicycle?

  7. kiwicricket - Apr 17, 2012 at 11:50 AM

    “Loria’s psychedelic taxpayer ejaculator”

    • kiwicricket - Apr 17, 2012 at 11:56 AM

      climax, copulation, discharge, emanation, emission, secretion, efflux, effusion, ejaculation , emerging, emission, escape, exhalation, exudation….
      Could use a number of things really.

  8. southbeachtalent - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    Wow Craig, the “Fidel” or something? Real ground breaking, original stuff your serving up! That must have taken you a whole 4 seconds to come up with. Douche…

    Not funny.

    • koufaxmitzvah - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:15 PM

      How long did it take you to decide to call Craig a Douche? 4 hours?

      • hasbeen5 - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:41 PM

        And how long will it take him to learn the difference between your and you’re?

      • phukyouk - Apr 17, 2012 at 4:05 PM

        CLEARLY he was talking about Craig’s serving.. Idiot
        /Sarcasm off

  9. kingjoe1 - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    Congo Island

  10. steviep23 - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    Huge tacky plastic looking disgrace?

  11. Joe - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:24 PM

    Jabba the Hurt

  12. Old Gator - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    Sorry. “Tommy” has it ever been. Thus shall it ever be.

    • umrguy42 - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:31 PM

      So it is written, so shall it be done.

    • cur68 - Apr 17, 2012 at 2:38 PM

      For ever and ever, so help me Dog.

  13. unlost1 - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:41 PM

    J U N K

  14. stlouis1baseball - Apr 17, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    El Uglio?

  15. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:00 PM


  16. nelsonsaint - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:08 PM

    Liza Minelli.

    Garish, oddly intriguing, and never going away.

    • stlouis1baseball - Apr 17, 2012 at 2:41 PM

      Well done Nelson. Good work.

  17. Walk - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    I dropped him an email for either greenish monstrosity or green monstrosity an ovious reference to a hallowed old park.

  18. jimmymarlinsfan - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    Ugh, stadium paid for by hotel bed tax

    And whatever, the contraption is still better than the movie waterworld

  19. visnovsky - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:28 PM

    The Montreal Screw Job.

  20. Walk - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:47 PM

    How i met your mother, if you guys have a significant other that watches it, had an episode where two of the characters were arguing what an “old king clancy was”. Loser had give winner one. Throughout whole show various people told them what it was, when they found out about it no one wanted one, you know like that hr monstrosity.

  21. Walk - Apr 17, 2012 at 1:52 PM

    Whang doodle, my brother was just trying to describe hr thing to my father. He called it “the thing ” first when dad did not know tried various other names culminating in a frustrated “whang doodle”.

    • stlouis1baseball - Apr 17, 2012 at 2:57 PM

      “Whang Doodle.” That’s worth serious consideration.
      Also…thingamajid….whatchamacallit…doohicky…all worth consideration.
      I am voting for me original. El Uglio.

  22. lanflfan - Apr 17, 2012 at 4:05 PM

    Miami Monstrosity

  23. flpunx - Apr 17, 2012 at 7:20 PM

    I’m really just upset that the guy who makes it his duty to go out of his way to try to be smarter than everyone else gets a headline in this article.

    P.S. Gator, the Trop still isn’t anywhere near as bad as you think it is.

    • Old Gator - Apr 17, 2012 at 10:49 PM

      Just for the record, I don’t have to go out of my way. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t if I wanted to since I run on rails. It’s just that some folks here – you, for example – go out of your way to be dumber than me.

  24. trumpet87 - Apr 17, 2012 at 7:27 PM

    I’ve just been calling it the monstrosity in left field.

    • trumpet87 - Apr 17, 2012 at 7:32 PM

      MILF for short. Heh, I didn’t mean to do that, until I just realized it worked…

  25. ddmcd1974 - Apr 17, 2012 at 7:38 PM

    Elian’s Pool

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