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If it’s after 5pm, it must be minor league drug suspension time!

Apr 19, 2012, 5:45 PM EDT

syringe

It doesn’t happen every day, but a good 35-40% of the time, at about 5pm or so, I get a press release from Major League Baseball announcing minor league drug suspensions.

It’s getting to be like the whistle at the factory or something. A signal to me that the day is almost done and it’s time to go crack open a coldie. Well, some of us anyway. If you’re subject to the league’s drug treatment and rehabilitation program, you should probably not be using alcohol, dudes. Seriously.  Anyway:

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that two Minor League players have been suspended following their violations of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.

Miami Marlins Minor League infielder Jaime Ortiz has received a 50-game suspension after testing positive for metabolites of Stanozolol, a performance-enhancing substance.  Ortiz is currently on the roster of Double-A Jacksonville of the Southern League.

St. Louis Cardinals Minor League pitcher Jose Pasen has received a 50-game suspension after testing positive for metabolites of Nandrolone, a performance-enhancing substance.  Pasen is currently on the roster of short-season Batavia of the New York-Penn League.

Hope you enjoyed the metabolites, fellas. For the rest of us, it’s Miller Time.

  1. Ben - Apr 19, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    “I used to be a juicer, you know, using steroids? Diabanol and Winstrol… ugh, they use that on race horses for Christ sakes. And now I’m bankrupt, I’m divorced, my two grown kids – won’t even return my phone calls.”

    Gah, did they never learn from Bitch Tits Bob?

    • Ben - Apr 19, 2012 at 6:54 PM

      And Jose Canseco, for that matter.

  2. jwbiii - Apr 19, 2012 at 6:46 PM

    ‘Tis the season. It takes six weeks or so for cases to percolate through the appeals process, so players who failed tests at the start of spring training are being suspended now.

    • dondada10 - Apr 19, 2012 at 7:12 PM

      Why would a player appeal? Those never work.

      • raysfan1 - Apr 19, 2012 at 11:58 PM

        Like Ryan Braun?

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