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What Fenway Park really needs: a bubble wrap roof

Apr 20, 2012, 9:13 AM EDT

Bubble wrap

They called Galileo crazy. And they laughed at Columbus, Fulton and the Wright Brothers. So when you laugh at architect B.D. Nayak for proposing a roof for Fenway Park, don’t let me catch you calling him a genius later!

The shape of Fenway Park is unsymmetrical, and because of its dimensions, a physical structure for a roof on the park would not be economical. Therefore, we propose a series of 40-foot wide recycled, high-strength transparent bubble strips, just like packaging wrap, supported by the help of cable wires.

There would be multiple bubbles in each strip, and each bubble would be filled with helium. The strips would be placed over the ballpark with cables inserted on both sides and resting on pulleys. The pulleys would be attached to pylons on each end.

Bubble wrap?  Um, OK, maybe it’s alright to laugh.

  1. redguy12588 - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:16 AM

    Up2: the search for Youk’s motivation.

  2. fordman84 - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    If it worked, I’d bet Texas would be interested as well!

  3. proudlycanadian - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    Just bubble wrap Bobby Valentine. It would be much cheaper.

  4. hushbrother - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    This must be an architect from Monty Python’s “Architect Sketch.”

  5. yankeesfanlen - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    Is this a variation on the old Saran Wrap on the commode gag?

  6. mississippimusicman - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    I’m having visions of it somehow starting to come apart, and being repaired with duct tape… yeah. Just picture Fenway wrapped for shipping.

  7. Jonny 5 - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    That would have to be some special plastic to keep the Helium from escaping. You’ve all had Mylar balloon deflate correct? The molecules of Helium are so small they escape past the larger molecules of plastics. This is why helium is used as a leak detector as it tends to leak faster than any other safely handled gas does. I’m not so sure this is even close to a good idea unless they have some sort of breakthrough in plastics manufacturing, or unless they plan on replacing this roof every few weeks which doesn’t seem economical to me.

    • deathmonkey41 - Apr 20, 2012 at 11:33 AM

      Yeah, they should go with Hydrogen instead…nothing ever bad has come out of filling something with Hydrogen…

      • Jonny 5 - Apr 20, 2012 at 11:52 AM

        Splendid idea! Turns the whole place into a non smoking section. Maybe people won’t be as quick to sneak a smoke where they aren’t supposed to?

  8. phukyouk - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    I am able to see the scores of dead and broken bodies of fans on the field from trying to climb up there just to pop it

    • bigleagues - Apr 20, 2012 at 10:03 AM

      Only in Boston (and New York) are there people baseballcrazed enough to do exactly what you just stated.

      However, if this is structurally sound I’m all in!

    • ajcardsfan - Apr 20, 2012 at 10:04 AM

      All it takes is a well placed shot from a little kid’s sling shot and bam, hold in the roof

  9. ray1950 - Apr 20, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    What Fenway Park really needs is to be replaced!

  10. rickset - Apr 20, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    Are we sure Art Vandelay didn’ t come up with this idea?

    • deathmonkey41 - Apr 20, 2012 at 11:47 AM

      It was Constanza that came up with the Cotton uniforms!

  11. bigleagues - Apr 20, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    WAIT! Helium? Do you know how many enterprising Bleacher Creatures (read: MIT students) would attempt each and every game to poke a hole in a bubble with a telescoping straw, fill their lungs with Helium and then run down to taunt the Visiting Bullpen?

  12. raysfan1 - Apr 20, 2012 at 10:20 AM

    I can see it working, but have to think it would be pretty ugly. Hmmm, maybe that would stop folks from insulting the Trop! Nah, too fun and easy/deserved.

  13. paperlions - Apr 20, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    I have a question: Why the fuck would you want to put a roof of any kind on Fenway?

  14. bloodysock - Apr 20, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Free shipping if you use the Buy It Now option.

  15. Detroit Michael - Apr 20, 2012 at 11:03 AM

    How are the architects going to stop the seagulls from stomping on the shrink wrap bubbles and laughing at the popping sounds?

  16. drewzducks - Apr 20, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    Think of all the money making opportunities for this money grubbing ownership group. After a few months of wear and tear they can offer fans the chance, for a small fee of course, to pop the bubble wrap that needs to be replaced and take it home for a keepsake. Only $50 for this once in a lifetime offer. And for a limited time only you can add a commemorative brick for only an additional $50 !!!

  17. poprox13 - Apr 20, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Leave Fenway alone!!!!

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