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Tiffany Simons on “Star Wars”

Apr 26, 2012, 2:36 PM EDT

Tiffany Simons

As I’ve mentioned before, the best part of HBT Extra is when Tiffany Simons and I chat prior to taping. And, from time to time — and with Tiffany’s permission — I like to share some of the gems from those conversations. Today’s concerns “Star Wars.” And we got two gems, actually.

First, Tiffany recently interviewed R.A. Dickey and, later in the day, was to interview knuckleball legend Charlie Hough.  In preparation for the Hough interview, she asked Dickey to describe the nature of his relationship with Hough:

Tiffany: “He said ‘Charlie is like the Jedi to my … something.'”

Me: “Padawan?”

Tiffany: “Yes, that’s it. I have no idea what that meant.”

I don’t think this reflects poorly on Tiffany at all, by the way. Because even if you’ve seen “Star Wars,” “padawan” is a word that could elude you if you’re not obsessive about it, if for no other reason than I think it doesn’t appear until the prequels, and those stunk.

No, I’m more amazed by Dickey here.  In his recent memoir her painfully recounted the mistake he made several years ago when he had an extramarital affair.  The amazing part is that a guy who casually throws out Jedi-Padawan analogies like this was able to woo two women at various points in his life. Hope for nerds everywhere, right?

The second gem speaks more directly to Tiffany:

“My friends and I saw “Spaceballs” before we saw “Star Wars.” And we didn’t even know “Star Wars” existed when we saw “Spaceballs.”  So when we saw “Star Wars,” we were all like ‘this sucks, “Spaceballs” was way better.'”

Do with that information what you will.

  1. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Apr 26, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    No worries, Tiffany. I can’t stand Star Wars.

    (Let the thumbs down commence!)

    • hotkarlsandwich - Apr 27, 2012 at 7:53 AM

  2. nightman13 - Apr 26, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    Tiffany could ridicule me for an hour straight to my face and I would leave that experience with a smile. Beautiful woman, follows sports and loves Spaceballs? Seriously?

  3. hasbeen5 - Apr 26, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    More reason to like Tiffany.

    I have never made it through an entire Star Wars movie. Bored the crap out of me.

    • purnellmeagrejr - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:27 PM

      You tyhink that’s bad – my kids grew up with hARR pOTTTER -A SURE-FIRE SOPOFORIC WHEN THE KIDS START FLYING AROUND. i always felll aSleeep.

      • wurst2first - Apr 26, 2012 at 4:28 PM

        Dafuq did I just read?

  4. sdelmonte - Apr 26, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    How can you appreciate Spaceballs without seeing Star Wars, though? Then again, how can you appreciate without knowing at least half of what it’s making fun of? (The Aliens-meets-Looney Tunes moment is meaningless without knowledge of both things, for example.)

    • spindervish - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:01 PM

      Exactly. As brilliant as it is, I can’t imagine enjoying Spaceballs all that much with basically zero context.

      • Old Gator - Apr 26, 2012 at 5:38 PM

        I don’t know what they’re paying Tiffany, but I suspect that these days you could get Paris Hilton to say such dumb things at half the price. Kim Kardashian is probably still a little too expensive.

  5. phukyouk - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:01 PM

    I dont know what to do with this information. Spaceballs is the funniest movie i have ever seen in my 32 yrs on this earth. i mean it wasnt until i was 13 or 14 that i got the line (I bet she gives great helmet). and star wars… well its star wars.. its just plain godliness.

    Neither of them were better than the other cause they were two totally different animals. but then again Tiffany also never saw the Natural so there’s that.

    • racksie - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:47 PM

      Wait…Tiffany never saw the Natural? She knows Robert Redford is in it, right? I get to watch the Natural every time it’s on tv just because of Robert Redford.

  6. nogoodtomedead - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:16 PM

    I object to connecting ‘padawan’ to Star Wars. Star Wars is an influential scifi/adventure trilogy from the late 70’s and early 80’s. It was a ground-breaking moment in film. ‘Padawan’ came from a recent series of terrible films used to market Happy Meals and create sales of merchandise.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:18 PM

      I agree with you re: the quality of the movies, but if you don’t think that the original Star Wars wasn’t also highly-geared toward selling merchandise, you weren’t alive between 1977 and 1983.

      • aceshigh11 - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:27 PM

        I can attest to this, being five in ’83. One of my most vivid early memories in life is seeing ‘Jedi’ in the theater with my Dad.

        I can also vaguely remember saving Star Wars action figure proofs-of-purchase and mailing them in so that I could get the ‘old Anakin Skywalker’ (the Sebastian Shaw hologram at the end before Lucas butchered it) figure.

        Lucas was one crafty bastard. He probably made just as much cash off the character licensing as the films themselves.

      • heyblueyoustink - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:36 PM

        I had the Ewok villiage play set to second this, however my father went cheap when it came to the space craft……who the hell wanted a Y wing? Thanks Dad.

      • aceshigh11 - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:40 PM

        I was actually way more into He-Man and Masters of the Universe (no homoerotic jokes, please), so I didn’t have THAT much Star Wars gear in comparison…

        …but I did have the Ewok village. That was pretty neat, although the net trap always got all snarled up and never worked right.

      • nogoodtomedead - Apr 26, 2012 at 4:00 PM

        Sure it was- after it became a huge success. It wasn’t made to sell merchandise- it sold merchandise because of how big it became.

      • snowbirdgothic - Apr 26, 2012 at 4:08 PM

        To be fair, the concept of merchandising the living hell out of a movie didn’t really exist until Lucas realized he could do it with Star Wars. Before that, it was just lunchboxes and thermoses all the way down.

      • mybrunoblog - Apr 26, 2012 at 6:23 PM

        The big difference is that the 1970s 80s star wars movie were thought out, filmed and then they marketed the action figures, posters, toys etc…The 1990s 00s movie were all written and created WITH marketing in mind well before they were made.
        That and IMAO the newer movies mostly sucked.

    • racksie - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:57 PM

      Craig is right. It was also built up as source of pride to see the original Star Wars as many times as you could.

  7. aceshigh11 - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:21 PM

    That’s funny.

    My ex-fiance had never seen any of the original Star Wars films. Or any Indiana Jones films.

    When I tried watching them on TV with her, she was either bored (‘Empire’) or thought it was cheesy (‘Temple of Doom’).

    Now…that’s not WHY she’s my ex-fiance…but it sure as hell didn’t help the situation, all things considered.

    • Kevin S. - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:35 PM

      Sounds like you dodged a land mine.

  8. ezthinking - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:23 PM

    How can you not have seen Star Wars when Spaceballs came out? And not to know there was a movie called Star Wars? I’m calling BS. Ignorance is cute until it isn’t. She’s just fuuuckin’ with you now Craig.

  9. Jonny 5 - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:29 PM

    Tiffany not knowing anything about Star Wars didn’t shock me a bit. A goddess of her stature can’t be bothered with these earthly distractions.

    • aceshigh11 - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:38 PM


      There’s a reason why guys like me obsessed over Star Wars as kids. It was something we could focus on to distract ourselves from the fact that girls had no interest in us pencil-necked nerds.

      Tiffany was probably busy…y’know…meeting actual people and getting plenty of sunlight.

      • Jonny 5 - Apr 26, 2012 at 4:19 PM

        She was busy doing things only Goddesses are privy to. Granting wishes to orphans and such.

  10. xmatt0926x - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:31 PM

    Craig is right. The original Star Wars was very influenced by the need to sell merchandise. In fact the deal Lucas signed with the movie studio gave him 100% of the merchandise rights.I forget the exact details of what he gave up or had to put up himself to get that deal. When the first movie went crazy and the toys sold through the roof he then had the finances to do the following movies how he wanted. As far as Tiffany, look at her. It doesn’t matter what she does or doesn’t know. Let’s be real. About 15 years ago I started to get to know a nice young girl and we found this quiz that I started to jokingly give her. She didn’t know how many inches were in a foot, thought the United States owned the moon and believed that Europe was physically connected to North America. Yes, she thought you could drive to Italy from Philly (true story). After quizzing her I was stunned that a high school graduate who was now in college could be this lacking in basic facts. I was honestly in shock. Fortunately she possessed certain other “qualities” and during those special times when I had access to those qualities she was Plato and Socrates all rolled up into one. I miss that girl….

    • forsch31 - Apr 26, 2012 at 9:44 PM

      No, the original Star Wars was not influenced by the “need to sell merchandise.” Lucas keeping the merchandising rights (which no studio had ever really taken advantage of anyway) was a savvy business move on his part, but it wasn’t the reason he made the movie. He kept those rights in exchange for waving his director’s fee, which was the only way Alan Ladd could get a production and distribution deal for the proposed film at Fox, which was teetering thanks to a bunch of recent failed films. Studios at the time felt those rights were worthless; Lucas simply saw an opportunity.

      Lucas didn’t need the money when he made Star Wars. He had just made a mint on American Graffiti, which he had made through Lucasfilm for Universal. He came up with the story for Star Wars before he made that film and had shopped both projects around. When Universal agreed to produce American Graffiti, they also purchased first look rights to Star Wars and Radioland Murders. Universal passed up their option on Star Wars, Ladd stepped in because of the success of American Graffiti and made a deal for the story in 1973. Lucas would spend a year writing his first draft, then working on other drafts until a final draft was accepted at the end of 1975.

  11. heyblueyoustink - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:34 PM

    Pizza, by far, was the superior Hut.

  12. stairwayto7 - Apr 26, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    Can I park my bike in her trunk?

  13. quiltedgerm - Apr 27, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    She doesn’t look Druish…

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