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And That Happened: Wednesday’s Scores and Highlights

May 3, 2012, 5:30 AM EDT

Chipper Jones

Yes, I’ll get to the Weaver no-hitter in a minute. But it’s already an HBT top story and we have some supporting stuff too.  And besides, there was some clairvoyance going on last night too, and that’s way more rare than a no-no, so first:

Braves 15, Phillies 13:  Dudes, not gonna lie. I turned this game off when it was 5-0 Phillies and Halladay was on the mound because 99% of the time, that’s over.  So instead I chatted online with my girlfriend and watched a couple season 2 episodes of “Louie.”  Including the one with the duckling in Afghanistan which was awesome, right?  Of course.

So, Louie ends and I go to the scoreboard to see how badly the Braves lost and I see that — shock! — it’s 13-13 in the 11th inning.  To the Roku player!  I turn it on and Chipper Jones is batting against Brian Sanches.  This is my chat log with my girlfriend, unedited. Apologies for the language, but it was the heat of the moment:

Me: Holy f**k, what the f**k happened in the Braves game. I started ignoring it when it was 5-0 Phillies. Now it’s 13-13, hahaha
Allison: oh my god  i had no idea??
Me: Looks like the wildest thing ever
Allison: couple of Phillies fans i know havent tweeted much
Me: I’m hoping Chipper hits a walkoff two run homer here
Me: S**t he almost did. Just foul
Allison: haha aw
Allison:  No f*****g way??
Me: I f*****g called that!
Allison: Hahahaha this chat log better make the blog too
Me: Oh yeah

So yeah. I called it. If “hoping” counts as calling it, which I think it does. If not, I at least willed it. Anyway, the Braves’ mostly-dead third baseman is better than your third baseman, so there.

Angels 9, Twins 0: Jered Weaver: no hitter. Drew had the details last night. And yes, it counts even though it came against the Twins.  The best part of it: the lengths to which the Angels broadcasters went to avoid mentioning the fact that he actually had a no-hitter going until the game actually ended. They’re so cute.

Rockies 8, Dodgers 5: Chipper wasn’t the only old man to hit a walkoff homer.  Jason Giambi did too, and his was a three-run job. Carlos Gonzalez hit two homers of his own as Clayton Kershaw was rocked in Denver.

Cardinals 12, Pirates 3: A really nice night for older, often-gimpy players: Carlos Beltran had two homers and seven RBI. Also, there was a kind of beauty in A.J. Burnett‘s pitching line. Just the numbers themselves, I mean:  2.2 12 12 12 1 2 2.  I’m assuming Pirates fans feel differently about that.

Cubs 3, Reds 1: You can’t stop Bryan LaHair, you can only hope to contain him. He hit a homer and now sits at .381/.459/.794 on the season with six bombs.

Indians 6, White Sox 3: Johnny Damon lead off, went 0 for 3 and left early with cramping. Didn’t matter, though, because Travis Hafner and Carlos Santana went yard. Adam Dunn hit a homer too.

Rays 5, Mariners 4: James Shields became the first five game winner in the AL, and struck out 11 Mariners. It wasn’t perfect — he gave up four runs in six innings — but he had homers from Sean Rodriguez and Luke Scott backing him. That’s 10 of 11 for the red-hot Rays.

Athletics 4, Red Sox 2: Brandon McCarthy explained after the game how seeing Jarrod Parker tie up the Red Sox the night before helped him visualize success against them last night:

“If anything, it gives you the confidence that you’re not facing a team that scored a bunch of runs,” McCarthy said of watching his teammate’s success the previous game. “When you see someone go out there, throw strike one, with good location, I think it can give you the confidence that it can be done.”

Based on that, I’m taking the hill tonight.  I’ll watch the Parker game three times if I have to. I know I can do it.

Nationals 5, Diamondbacks 4: Ian Desmond hit a walkoff homer. Bryce Harper went 3 for 4 with two doubles and an RBI and made a barehanded catch in the outfield after he stumbled. More importantly, the Nats snapped a five game losing streak. Exciting stuff going down in the District.

Orioles 5, Yankees 0: OK, seriously Orioles, cut it out. The joke has gone on long enough. That “hee hee, look at at compete” thing is starting to make everyone a little nervous, so whenever you’re ready, please return to being the division doormat, OK?  Anyone?  Folks, I’m not sure that they’re listening. Jake Arrieta, eight innings of shutout ball.

Padres 5, Brewers 0: Jeff Suppan won his first game since 2010, shutting out his old team for five innings. I’d call it “The Revenge of Jeff Suppan,” but I’m not sure that the Brewers did anything that warranted vengeance.

Royals 3, Tigers 2: Hit this up yesterday. The Tigers are gonna wake up soon, right?

Blue Jays 11, Rangers 5: Edwin Encarnacion continues to abuse baseballs. He hit a three-run jack — check out how beautiful it was — and Kelly Johnson hit one too. Just as disaster of a series for Texas.

Astros 8, Mets 1: Chris Johnson: two homers, four hits, six RBI. This is the Astros third baseman, by the way. Not the Chris Johnson I went to GW law school with and who was a former colleague of mine back at the Ohio law firm.  Totally different dude.

Marlins 3, Giants 2 : Carlos Zambrano shut out the Giants for seven. And, amazingly, Barry Zito’s new marriage didn’t cause him to maintain his pitching success. He walked seven dudes in three and two-thirds innings and needed over 90 pitches to get that far. But then the ninth inning came and Heath Bell came in and he, once again, didn’t have it, and the Giants tied it up.  Never fear, though: Giancarlo Stanton had it: homer in the 10th to win it.

  1. spudchukar - May 3, 2012 at 6:27 AM

    Gotta love the standings in the AL East.

    • proudlycanadian - May 3, 2012 at 7:16 AM

      Life is very interesting in the AL East. Even though NY is 4th and Boston is last, it remains the best division in baseball. The Rangers just lost a series to the third place team in the AL East.

      • Ben - May 3, 2012 at 9:28 AM

        I think it’s probably time to conclusively dethrone the BoSox as one of the two best teams in the AL.

      • cur68 - May 3, 2012 at 9:40 AM

        Not only de-throne the Sox but also bring to the attention of our Blogger In Chief that the Beaver Men’s Third Baseman is pretty effin good, too. Good as Larry Jones? Well, better knees at any rate. And all Beaver Powered. Which should be a HUGE plus.

        Ranger’s v Jays series? E5 like a stud, eh?

      • proudlycanadian - May 3, 2012 at 9:51 AM

        He is better than Larry and much more fun to watch. E5 is having a great year. Consequently he has been hit just above the elbow twice in recent games.

  2. spudchukar - May 3, 2012 at 6:34 AM

    For the most part St. Louis and media outlets nationwide have avoided another Lynn-sanity, that God, but nonetheless the dude does deserve some kudos. Plus Jon Jay is flying under the radar too, and Raphael Furcal is giving Stalin Castro all he can handle as for the starting SS position for the NL in July, even though Tulowitski will most likely be named. It is early, but May does mean it is beginning to be a trend.

    • ultimatecardinalwarrior - May 3, 2012 at 9:34 AM

      Furcal has kind of been the MVP of this team so far. Every single time I look at a box score it seems like he has another 2 or 3 hit game. He’s just getting on base like a monster.

  3. kiwicricket - May 3, 2012 at 6:45 AM

    Weaver’s parents and Wife were at the game watching. The $85M and staying at home is gravy. Congrat’s to the guy.

  4. kiwicricket - May 3, 2012 at 6:49 AM

    2.2 12 12 12 1 2 2.
    Put a few spaces in A.J. Burnett‘s pitching line and it would be an awesome box score.

    • Old Gator - May 3, 2012 at 7:07 AM

      Where are the check bits? You could run a Babbage Engine on that pitching line. Looks like old mechanical processor code. Who remembers those old cardboard computer cards with the little rectangular punch holes? (And who, skinning their fingers while trying to pull the crumpled sheet of paper out of their Hewlett Packard printer paper feed, wants to be told that forty years ago those machines ran huge stacks of those cards flawlessly?)

      • proudlycanadian - May 3, 2012 at 7:12 AM

        Those old computer cards turned me off computers for decades.

      • kiwicricket - May 3, 2012 at 8:04 AM

        Didn’t those things power the space shuttles?!

      • easports82 - May 3, 2012 at 8:41 AM

        Not the shuttle; Mercury, Gemini and Apollo missions all ran on punch cards. It’s interesting to go to KSC and see the physical size of the processors in the rockets, which only needed around 64 or 128 KB.

      • jwbiii - May 3, 2012 at 8:45 AM

        I have a stack of them. They make really good bookmarks.

      • natstowngreg - May 3, 2012 at 9:17 AM

        In grad school, circa 1974, I did a small research project using data on punch cards. I’d submit the stack to the university computer center. Eventually, I got back a few large pieces of paper which, boiled down to their essence, said “you screwed up, try again, this run cost $0.25.”

        This was also the day before cheap calculators. There was one on a table in the library, which could add, subtract, multiply and divide. The MBA students would boast about their fancy $300 Hewlett-Packard calculators.

        This was 11 years before I bought my first computer, with Lotus 1-2-3. And 30-some years before I could buy a calculator with comparable capabilities to the $300 HP at CVS for $19.95.

      • cur68 - May 3, 2012 at 9:43 AM

        You guys are old. In my day it was the mighty commodore vic 20. Ping Pong, anyone?

      • proudlycanadian - May 3, 2012 at 9:54 AM

        65 is the new 45 Cur

      • spudchukar - May 3, 2012 at 10:12 AM

        You want old? Here is old for ya’. I still remember my grandpa cranking away at his adding machine. They were cool actually. He was a milkman Sealtest in St. Louis for 43 years, but at least once a month he had to deliver not only milk and butter, on his route but the monthly bill, which he had to manufacture a couple of days before the end of month. I can still hear the coordinated clicking of the contraption.

        So what is the connection to Baseball you ask? Well, for about 1/2 of those 43 years his route included the Italian section in South St. Louis, known in the old days as “Dago Hill”, but now thankfully shortened to “The Hill”. Two of the homes he visited 5 times a week, (cause you could not take off two days in a row; mom’s needed milk daily, so you got Wednesdays and Sundays off) were the households of the Berras and the Garagiolas. And as my Grandpa Otis always corrected, they were not exactly across the street from each other, but more diagonally apposed. So Yogi and Joe grew up on Sealtest, just so you know.

      • Gamera the Brave - May 3, 2012 at 10:21 AM

        Anyone else take Pascal classes in college?
        Anyone?
        Anyone?…
        Christ I’m old…

      • Old Gator - May 3, 2012 at 10:53 AM

        I studied Pascal, and went out in a Blaise of glory on the final. The fun part about binary integers is that you never run out of fingers. I also studied Leibniz, Montaigne, Maimonides and Erasmus. But take it from me: Lao Tzu makes a lot more sense.

      • natstowngreg - May 3, 2012 at 12:46 PM

        65 is the new 45? So Jamie Moyer will pitch another 15 years in the Majors?

      • kiwicricket - May 3, 2012 at 2:27 PM

        I was banished to a very rural, very small private catholic school in NZ, where ancient decrepit nuns roamed the earth. I was taught how to use an abacus. I am 31. Age is relative.

      • stex52 - May 3, 2012 at 4:04 PM

        I go back to paper tape. Cards started in college.

      • jwbiii - May 4, 2012 at 5:00 PM

        Keuffel & Esser, anyone?

  5. leerosenthall - May 3, 2012 at 7:22 AM

    “And besides, there was some clairvoyance going on last night too.”

    Bitch, please. I “called it” too. And, unlike you, I sat through the entire excruciating thing and have the grey hair to prove it. I’ve never been the superstitious type, but I KNEW we were taunting the Baseball Gods when the Phillies’ broadcasters plastered that stat about Halladay being 107-0 in his career when he’s given a four-run lead. And if that weren’t enough, they then reminded everybody that Halladay had yet to give up a home run this season. I mean who DOES that when the opposing lineup includes McCann (who demolished that second stat about 90 seconds later), Freeman, Heyward, Uggla and Chipper Fucking Jones?

    I enjoy a good stat as much as the next nerd, but this shit is getting out of hand.

    • bravojawja - May 3, 2012 at 9:27 AM

      The Braves broadcast had that same stat. If it makes you feel any better, the stat hasn’t changed.

      • xmatt0926x - May 3, 2012 at 2:20 PM

        Wow thats right. I hadn’t even thought of that. As much of a disaster as last night was with Halladay, the fact is he still has no losses when given that kind of lead.

  6. Old Gator - May 3, 2012 at 7:28 AM

    The Feesh won a weird one last night on the freshly resurrected Iron Giant’s third moon shot in five days. Who has been whispering “klaatu barada nikto” into his ear while he sleeps? Heath Bell has come unstuck in time. Listen: he continues to be the league’s designated weltschmerz while he’s too far away, too late and too dislocated from my brother-without-a-soul-on-Lon-Gisland’s MLBTV-less cable system for me to watch him and determine what he looks like he’s doing wrong. Day ‘fore yesterday he seemed fine. Last night he couldn’t throw a pea past a cyclops with floaters and a cataract swinging his white cane at the peetch and receiving audial hints from his three-headed seeing eye dog. So much for trying to play Noman, Heath.

    Meanwhile, the Jints won’t be threeled by the Panda’s weird hand injury – he seems to have hurt his surgically repaired right wrist while swinging at a Krazy Karlos peetch in the sixth inning (Tea Party knuckledraggers take note: that wrist needs socialized medicine; capitalist orthopedic surgery is for the birds, and he’s out on the left coast already). Oddly enough, I read about his injury just after reading that a female zoo panda had been artificially inseminated somewhere. I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but I guess strange is where you find it.

    I have to eat a little crow here (a local Santeria princess gave me a great recipe for a Jamaican crow curry): Krazy Karlos Lamebraino has been terrific – I don’t know if Slobbering Ozzie has been spiking his spiced carrot juice with Lexapro or what – and the guy has nothing to show for it but gecko droppings. Meanwhile, half the starting lineup behind him is flirting with or enraptured by the Mendoza Line – time to go trolling for a new batting instructor, folks. The re-awakening of the Iron Giant is all very nice but you need some production out of somebody else, you know?

    • spudchukar - May 3, 2012 at 7:44 AM

      Gator, any take on the demise of Gaby Sanchez? After a promising 2010 season, and his all-star selection at the mid-way point of 2011, he has been in free fall. IMHO, he was a tough out early in his career. Have teams found a weakness or will he rebound?

      • Old Gator - May 3, 2012 at 11:08 AM

        Poor Gaby’s average took a splash into Rio Mendoza last night and briefly recovered. I don’t know. Maybe the team’s resident Cuban was horrified to find himself trapped with a commyooneest Feedlel-loover for a manager. Maybe he’s getting frustrated that Scrooge McLoria hasn’t acceded to his demands to replace Ozzie with Marco Rubio. It’s hard to say. But really, the entire team is looking anemic – hell, hemophiliac – at the plate so far this year, and as you noted about the second half of last season, the overall offense of the Feesh has been in subduction mode right along weeth heem since last July.

    • kiwicricket - May 3, 2012 at 8:13 AM

      Speaking of animal behavior, and it’s curiosities….
      You must be thrilled this time of year….’water dancing’ and all.

      • Old Gator - May 3, 2012 at 11:20 AM

        The giant toads (Bufo marinus) have pretty much wrapped up their tabloid cover business for the season already, but the last week – which saw the rainy season return to Macondo a bit late this year – seems to have brought out the changeling Danton’s toads (Bufo decadantus) en masse, from what my wife told me over the phone. A miracle of camouflage, Danton’s toad can not only change color and pattern to blend in with its surroundings, but it can actually alter its shape to evade its pursuers. One of its favorite tricks, when attacked by a cat, for example, is to change into a dog. During mating season, the toads often change shape more and more rapidly as they approach orgasm, literally strobing away in the water, which they reduce to a fine spray, and may run through their entire repertoire by the time they finally climax.

        The tadpoles, incidentally, bear a striking resemblance to sperm, and I don’t think that’s any coincidence.

        Here in Macondo, once they lose their tails and leave the pond – much as humans who realize that Darwin was right once did – Danton’s toads change into Latino gardeners, plumbers, auto mechanics, telephone receptionists and waiters, morphing into funeral home directors, industrialists, doctors, lawyers and right-wing politicians as they mature. As Slobbering Ozzie discovered, they appear to have no natural predators in the Macondo region.

    • Gamera the Brave - May 3, 2012 at 10:23 AM

      Gator, if you are gonna invoke “The Day the Earth Stood Still” references for Stanton, don’t you have to re-nickname him “Gort”?

      • Old Gator - May 3, 2012 at 11:01 AM

        I actually had a pet rhinoceros iguana named Gort once. He was totally psychotic and would start hissing, drooling and lashing his tail at the glass of his terrarium the minute someone walked into the room, even ten feet away – I’ve met NRA lobbyists who were more stable.

        Most people know rhinoceros iguanas as the big, bulldog-postured gray lizards with the horn on their nose that Hollywood like to affix fake-looking crepe sailbacks to and represent as dimetrodons in B dinosaur movies. There’s one in the atrocious 1959 James Mason – Pat Boone – Arlene Dahl – Fernando Lamas version of Journey to the Center of the Earth, slugging it out with a monitor lizard with fake bull horns glued to its head.

        The Iron Giant – thus has it ever been, thus will it ever be.

      • Gamera the Brave - May 3, 2012 at 12:05 PM

        Gator, I know you mean “atrocious” in a kind, nostalgic way…

    • natstowngreg - May 3, 2012 at 12:55 PM

      The panda in question is here in DC, at the National Zoo. They’ve been trying to create baby pandas for years, with the media reporting regularly on the pandas’ sex lives (or lack thereof). There has been one notable success — Tai Shan, born 2005, a Washington celebrity before being sent back to China.

  7. Matt Loveland - May 3, 2012 at 7:32 AM

    Over the years the Brewers have broken a number of unwritten rules. It’s hard to say which ones because nobody has bothered to write them down. But, that is the only way to explain the Suppan shutout. The only way.

  8. Francisco (FC) - May 3, 2012 at 8:08 AM

    If it had been me, I would have brought in Papelbon to face Chipper with one on and no outs, but apparently this violates the “50 million $ arm must only be brought in a save situation” clause of his contract. Of course Chipper might have hit the HR anyway…

  9. Jonny 5 - May 3, 2012 at 8:12 AM

    “I turned this game off when it was 5-0 Phillies and Halladay was on the mound because 99% of the time, that’s over. So instead I chatted online with my girlfriend and watched a couple season 2 episodes of “Louie.”

    I’ve never heard anything so lame. Ok, I have heard worse. But DUUUUDE, you missed a freaking crazy a$$ game and your life is now worse because of it. Oh yeah, and CHOOOOCH! This guy pulls Roy’s butt out of the L column not once, but twice last night. I bet there are tear stains on Roy’s Chooch pillow this morning. I have never seen the bases loaded that many times in one game before in my life (that i can remember). This game even though it was a loss for the Phills, was one I’d watch again. Rarely can a baseball game get so crazy. Craig from now on just leave the game on as you chat with the gf and you’ll be doing yourself a favor. 36 hits, wow.

    • The Rabbit - May 3, 2012 at 10:48 AM

      I didn’t think about saving our (you, me, Len, Utley’s Hair, and later FC) chat log from last night but, the short version was something like this:

      Phillies Game
      Doc must have been in shock getting run support.
      Chooooch
      Chooooch
      Will Sanches bat?
      Who’s left in the pen?
      Cholly is going to be sorry that he leaves Papelbon in a glass box so he doesn’t get dusty,
      Expletives
      Is this a record for the number of times the bases have been loaded?
      Expletives

      Cardinals Game
      I thought AJ might be good in NL…oh wait he’s pitching for the Pirates.
      Doesn’t matter who he’s pitching for if he’s getting rocked.

      • Jonny 5 - May 3, 2012 at 11:14 AM

        Last night between the game and the chat we were VERY entertained. lol.

      • Utley's Hair - May 3, 2012 at 11:29 AM

        Are you sure there weren’t more expletives?

  10. Lukehart80 - May 3, 2012 at 8:14 AM

    In addition to the no hitter, that is also two complete game shutouts in a row for the Angels, as Jerome Williams pulled it off on Tuesday. The 2010 Mets were the last team to turn that trick, with R.A. Dickey and Johan Santana the pitchers of note.

    Dan Haren will try to make it three in a row tomorrow night, it was 2004 the last time a team accomplished that.

    http://bbref.com/pi/shareit/blMBv

    • proudlycanadian - May 3, 2012 at 8:21 AM

      The team that Haren is facing tonight, just scored 11 runs against the Rangers.

      • Lukehart80 - May 3, 2012 at 8:26 AM

        Hey, I didn’t say I expect him to do it!

      • cur68 - May 3, 2012 at 9:46 AM

        And is Beaver Powered. Watch it, Mr. Haren.

      • Old Gator - May 3, 2012 at 11:23 AM

        Does beaver hibernate, or maybe I’m just getting old….

      • proudlycanadian - May 3, 2012 at 2:44 PM

        No. In the winter they hole up in their nice cozy lodges with plenty of food and make whoopie.

  11. paperlions - May 3, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    Through the first 3 innings of their game, the Cardinals 1-4 hitters were 9 for 9 with a sac fly, HBP, and a BB, 10 RBI, and 10 runs scored.

    • Jonny 5 - May 3, 2012 at 8:31 AM

      Burnett was supposed to do soooo much better against the NL too.

  12. cltjump - May 3, 2012 at 8:23 AM

    You weren’t the only one willing Chipper’s walk-off. Or cursing when he drove that one foul by like 3 inches. That was literally the most exciting game I’ve watched since the playoffs against the Astros in what, ’06? And the outcome of this one was much more desirable.

  13. Lukehart80 - May 3, 2012 at 8:31 AM

    Johnny Damon is a winner, that’s just basic math.

    It’s sort of startling that anyone is talking about ANOTHER no hitter, or a routine 15-13 extra inning affair that ended on a future Hall of Famer’s walk-off blast, when we got to witness such an incredible performance by Cleveland’s new acquisition. Clearly the Indians will now be unstoppable, even if Damon never collects a hit, or even manages to complete a game.

  14. rockthered1286 - May 3, 2012 at 8:34 AM

    Pretty pumped after the O’s series against the Yanks. Took 2 of 3, held the Yanks to 2 runs in 3 games, and Arrieta looked flat out stellar. Then I saw the Weaver no-no and Harper’s 3 hits and thought “well…any chance of the O’s getting any coverage on this series has now fizzled.”

    Silent but deadly…

    • psuravens19 - May 3, 2012 at 9:46 AM

      I’m okay not getting a lot of coverage, it’s working so far.

      • Loose Changeup - May 3, 2012 at 12:22 PM

        Seriously, this. Remember when the O’s started 6-1, were all over the ESPN, and promptly went 6-9?

    • yankeefanincolo - May 3, 2012 at 9:56 AM

      It’s a minor point, but the Yanks scored three runs in the series, not two. And when you consider that in only scoring three in three games they still got a win out of the series, it could have been worse.

      • rockthered1286 - May 3, 2012 at 10:15 AM

        We’re only competitive for like 3 months out of the season, let us have our fun while it lasts! But I stand corrected, 3 runs. Matusz first win in nearly a year. Arrieta 8 shut out innings, 9 K’s. Bucks 1000th W. Nick Johnson’s first hit. It’s been a great series to be an O’s fan!

  15. delsj - May 3, 2012 at 8:46 AM

    So you were on-line chatting with your girlfriend and typing f-bombs in the chat. What are you 16? Maybe you should just get a rug and replace the VW bus with a Mazda Miata convertible and really embrace that Mid-Life Crisis.

    • Craig Calcaterra - May 3, 2012 at 8:53 AM

      Jealous?

      • phukyouk - May 3, 2012 at 9:14 AM

        Craig – when you say “unedited” did you actually mean that you wrote “f**k” or “fuck” but didnt want to offend the viewers? cause if that’s that case then its pure horses*it… no wait.. horse sh*t.. wait.. ahh nevermind

      • ajcardsfan - May 3, 2012 at 9:59 AM

        He is, all he has to hold is a body pillow, and his only conversations over the past year have been with a stray cat he found which he has named Mr. Tibbs

      • Gamera the Brave - May 3, 2012 at 10:24 AM

        It’s spelled h*rseshit.
        C’mon…

  16. sdelmonte - May 3, 2012 at 9:28 AM

    Pretty bad week for the NYC teams. What’s worse: getting swept by the hapless (but not Happ-less) Astros, or having a game where no hitter reaches second base? On the bright side, no one punched a glass.

    • phukyouk - May 3, 2012 at 9:35 AM

      ” On the bright side, no one punched a glass.”

      Kevin brown and AJ left hte yanks a long time ago…..

  17. Francisco (FC) - May 3, 2012 at 9:39 AM

    Today was a good day. He was feeling very good. Exciting baseball! Walkf-off homers, A no-hitter. The Braves defeated the Phillies. That means he gets to troll them today in full. Craig walked over to his high chair bottle of bourbon in hand.

    “Craig, you’re not drinking this early in the morning are you,” said Tiffany as her head appeared on the 70″ LED screen.

    “Of course not my dear, this is for Chipper!”, he anwsered, pointing to a small Chipper Jones bobble-head on his side table with a small shot glass in front.

    “Where have I seen this before?” Tiffany wondered aloud as Craig poured Chipper a shot of his finest.

    “Perk up my dear, your team, the Angels one and Mr. Weaver tossed a no-hitter.”

    “That’s true,” she said. “And your team managed to overcome Halladay after a serious deficit. Though with the score you’d swear it was the eagles and falcons playing.”

    Craig straightened and paused, with frown on his face. “Those two teams again. I’ve heard them before but what league exactly do they play in.”

    Tiffany was about to answer, though better of it, and said: “I’ll catch you later for HBT Craig.”

    Craig shrugged and started to goo-goo and ga-ga over his Chipper Jones bobblehead. “Who’s a great sure-fire-first-ballot hall of famer? You Are!!!”.

    • Jonny 5 - May 3, 2012 at 11:16 AM

      good one.

  18. randygnyc - May 3, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    AJ Burnett is……..BACK!!!!!

  19. Gamera the Brave - May 3, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    “Anyway, the Braves’ mostly-dead third baseman is better than your third baseman, so there.”
    Don’t get me wrong, Chipper has had a great career, but if you are using the present tense of the verb, I will go with our Panda:
    Chipper .273/.328/.509/.837, fielding .938
    Panda .316/.375/.537/.912, fielding .930
    Sure, Chipper is 389 homers ahead of the Panda, but you DID use the present tense…
    Wait, the Panda got a hand injury?…
    Crap, never mind…

    • cltjump - May 3, 2012 at 12:57 PM

      Chipper is clutch though.

  20. hushbrother - May 3, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    Once again the Red Sox were shut down by a mediocre pitcher. Like last year, they seem to be awfully good at winning blowouts when the hitters feel like showing up, and losing low scoring games when they don’t.

  21. APBA Guy - May 3, 2012 at 12:01 PM

    The A’s win a series against an AL East team. That’s rare enough, but when they manage to hold the Sawx to two runs in a game that’s even more rare. McCarthy had a lot of movement last night, and against a very depleted Red Sox lineup-really, how many of those guys should be playing for a contender, the A’s were up 4-1 going into the 9th, when Fuentes gave up his obligatory run. I was also unimpressed with the Sawx defense in the series, especially with Ross, who overran two balls in left and looked lost doing it. Maybe he was just cold. But coming from San Fran, that seems unlikely.

    Oakland returns to the Mausoleum at .500 to face Tampa and Toronto. It will be interesting to see the Beaver Men try to adjust to a park where the ball does not carry. On the other hand, Tampa is throwing Price and Hellickson at the offensively challenged A’s. If Price is on, that could be a highlight game for the Rays.

  22. DJ MC - May 3, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    The 2012 Baltimore Orioles: “They don’t know it’s a damn show! They think it’s a damn FIGHT!”

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