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Settling the Score: Friday’s results

May 12, 2012, 8:44 AM EDT

Brandon Inge Getty Getty Images

Josh Hamilton might be the hottest hitter on the planet right now, but Brandon Inge is a pretty close second.

Inge went 2-for-4 with a home run and four RBI last night as the Athletics topped the Tigers 11-4. It was Inge’s second straight night with a home run against his former team and the fourth game in his last five where he homered and drove in four runs. The 34-year-old third baseman had three home runs all of last season.

The most ridiculous part of it all? Inge is the first player to have four games with four RBI or more in five-game span since Lou Gehrig in 1931. Inge and Gehrig, forever linked in history. Baseball, I love you, but you’re crazy.

Your Friday box scores:

Rays 3, Orioles 4

Padres 3, Phillies 7

Mariners 2, Yankees 6

Astros 1, Pirates 0

Indians 5, Red Sox 7

Nationals 7, Reds 3

Angels 3, Rangers 10

Mets 5, Marlins 6

Royals 0, White Sox 5

Cubs 7, Brewers 8 (13 innings)

Blue Jays 6, Twins 7

Braves 9, Cardinals 7 (12 innings)

Giants 1, Diamondbacks 5

Rockies 3, Dodgers 7

  1. royhobbs39 - May 12, 2012 at 9:15 AM

    Really? Clay Bucholz has a 4-1 record?

    • Old Gator - May 12, 2012 at 9:20 AM

      You men eat yo dinner
      Eat yo pork and beans
      I eat mo chicken any man evah seen….

      Jim Morrison

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - May 12, 2012 at 9:33 AM

      Pitched to the score? knows how to win? it goes in the history book as a quality start. He could teach that Felix kid in seattle or Matt Cain in San Fran a thing or two about what is really important for a pitcher.

      fried chicken beer golf bad facial hair valentine’s mouth

    • Baseball Beer Burritos In That Order - May 12, 2012 at 9:43 AM

      He has 4 pitcher wins and a negative WAR for the season. The baseball gods, they truly do get weird sometimes.

      Ed. note: The Baseball Gods are actually just OG’s various personalities.

  2. Old Gator - May 12, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    Interesting noche de beisbol at Macondo Banana Massacre Field last night. The Feesh jumped out to a 3-0 lead in the first, keyed by an Austen Kearns two run homer that awakened Tommy for one of his grand guignol seizures. The Feesh squatted on their lead while the Mutts chipped away and pulled ahead in the top of the eighth with three runs off the hapless duo of Edward Mujica and Ryan Webb, and the Feesh limped into the bottom of the ninth like pinchos on the blunt end of a 5-4 skewer.

    It was then that we realized that Pazuzu had apparently leaped directly from Heath Bell to Frank Francisco last night – maybe they chatted and then shook hands during batting practice or something – because the much-maligned Feesh closer had peetched a perfect top of the ninth just so poor Frank could come out in the bottom of the ninth and get raked. He coughed up a screaming double by the Iron Giant, only to have him driven in by Emilio Bonifacio’s mouseball through a drawn-in infield. Then he had to watch helplessly as Bonny stole his 17th consecutive base of the season, and then be driven in by Gregg Dobbs (who is clearly related to Slackmaster Rev. Bob Dobbs, AKA “Bob”) for the winning run. Macondo Banana Massacre Field exploded with pent-up glee. Everyone was watching the celebration at home plate but I distinctly saw Francisco’s eyes turn red, his head pivot 360 degrees, and watched him projectile vomiting green jello on the walk back to the dugout.

    Interesting morning of television on the Weather Channel too. I tuned in to see if we could grill outside today – it’s our beloved spring monsoon season so you have to have good advance satellite information – and lo, the liquid crystals aligned to present me with a detailed special feature about preparing a mashed butter compound of crushed diced garlic, onion and cilantro for coating a ribeye before grilling. Dear Buddha’s most ravenous dharmapalas, it looked good – and the chef fed two small bits to the weather girls, who rolled their eyes in the sort of ecstasy that would have had Freud jumping up and down yelling “Sehen Sie! Sehen Sie! Ich war über die Mundphase korrekt!” Then the scene switched directly into a closeup depiction of a silver scoop lifting a couple of clots of granulate-encrusted shit out of a box of The World’s Best Cat Litter. Freud would have been so delighted with the syntax of images that he’d’ve skipped right to the genital phase.

    This really happened. Or to put it another way, take it easy Jake, it’s Macondo.

  3. jimmymarlinsfan - May 12, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    Marlins winners of 9 of 10 now…keep it up fellas

    • Old Gator - May 12, 2012 at 10:36 AM

      Jimmy, have you been to the stadium yet? It’s a great place to see a game when Hermanos al Rescate aren’t picketing in their walkers and wheelchairs. With the roof closed, the kind of reaction the fans had to Dobbs’ single last night is deafening – you can feel the air vibrate.

      The Feesh face R. A. Dickey today. They have their work cut out for them, and frankly, because it’s Dickey, my old pre-1993 Mutts loyalties will be vying for attention with my Feesh devotion.

      • jimmymarlinsfan - May 12, 2012 at 2:32 PM

        I live in massachusetts so I haven’t been to the spaceship yet…would love to go

        Maybe someday when I go see my step sister down in Miami or my cousin hooks me with tickets when the pirates come calling and he is back in the bigs

  4. Charles Gates - May 12, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    First place Baltimore Orioles.

    • proudlycanadian - May 12, 2012 at 9:39 AM

      Enjoy it Charles. It had been tough cheering for Baltimore for some time.

    • DJ MC - May 12, 2012 at 10:17 AM

      Yep. The order of the baseball universe is finally being restored.

  5. proudlycanadian - May 12, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    Just for fun, I compared Inge with some other noted home run hitters.
    INGE 5 HR and 19 RBi’s

    • proudlycanadian - May 12, 2012 at 9:45 AM

      Continued! Inge vs Guys who are paid big bucks to hit home runs.

      Inge 5HR and 19 RBI’s
      Pujols 1HR and 11 RBI’s
      Arod 5 HR and 14 RBI’s
      Teixeira 4HR and 17 RBI’s
      Bautista 7HR and 17 RBI’s

    • proudlycanadian - May 12, 2012 at 10:13 AM

      Inge 5 HR and 19 RBI
      Fielder 5 HR and 16 RBI

      Detroit Tigers: 16 & 16

      So far, Fielder represents money not well spent.

  6. hcf95688 - May 12, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    INGEsanity is taking hold in the East Bay

  7. cur68 - May 12, 2012 at 10:15 AM

    On HBT yesterday I proposed to do 3 things with respect to the Cards
    Braves game and Larry “Chipper” Jones:

    1) Any sign of sign stealing by Larry.

    2) If Larry is + sized or not (The Rabbit has promised to relay the
    information in dress size).

    3) TLR’s head size before and after honors heaped upon him.

    Order of answer is: No, 14, & possibly a 59(metric) increasing to ~62 by the time he’d finished having accolades heaped upon him. In reference to that last, he did have a wonderful anecdote about Dave Stewart. Best line of the night.

    The game itself was an extras innings thriller. The Rabbit and I concurred, if you can’t have a pitching duel then have a home run derby. We had the derby. Word to
    your moms, Carlos Beltran came to drop bombs. In fact, he was an extra innings single away form the cycle. I was hoping the game would go on long enough for him to reach base every possible way a player could, but all Beltran managed was a walk, 2 homers, a double and a triple. The Mets were right to let this guy go. He’s not as scrappy as David Eckstein. Eckstein was there, by the way. LaRussa referred to him as “the toughest guy I ever say play”. Me, Len and The Rabbit bellowed “Scrappy” at Tony, to correct him. Tony didn’t hear us, possibly do to
    all the accolades being heaped up round his ears.

    Anyhow, an HBT apology needs to be issued to one Livan Hernandez. He
    didn’t throw anything harder than mid 80’s junk and once he rolled one
    up there in the 60’s, but he got the job done, in spite of calls for
    IBBs from some lunatic in the dugout. We suffered along with Livan,
    and we want to see him honored, for he was like a stud.

    As for Larry, well, you can relax about Larry: he isn’t fat. Not
    even a little. He’ll take a size 14 dress, according to The Crusader
    Rabbit, but its all shoulders. No sign of moobs or hips. I think The
    Rabbit might have a ‘thing’ for Larry. She was pretty quick to point
    out his studly aspects.

    And finally, a word for Mr. Jason “The Brave” Heyward. He came
    through. Prior to the game winning 2 run homer in the 12th inning, I’d
    called down to Mr. Heyward to put it over the fence ’cause my narrow
    black butt had grown numb from sitting. And he did, like a stud. The
    whole experience was was everything a good ballgame was supposed to
    be. And, in closing, I’d like to point out that, on the Eckstein Scale
    of Scrappy (ESoS), Mr. Jason “The Brave” Heyward is a 10 in the
    scrappy department, and Larry has natural grace and rhythm to go with
    instinctual baseball skills.

    Game 2, tonight.

  8. uyf1950 - May 12, 2012 at 10:34 AM

    Over the past few games the Yankees have beaten pitchers: Shields, Price and just last night Felix Hernandez. Yet when they face someone relatively new like Paulino it seems like they forgot how to hit. Ain’t baseball funny.
    Anyway looks like the Yankees starting rotation may be coming into it’s own. They have had very nice and very productive outings lately from Hughes, Nova, CC and Kuroda most recently. Good to see if you’re a Yankees fan.

    • Old Gator - May 12, 2012 at 10:38 AM

      Dear Buddha, that’s a big “if.”

      • yankeesfanlen - May 12, 2012 at 11:09 AM

        There’s got to be a way to get water to the orchards.

      • Old Gator - May 12, 2012 at 11:15 AM

        I think the Necronomicon has a chapter on how to get broomsticks to do it.

  9. stex52 - May 12, 2012 at 12:31 PM

    The Astros’ kids actually did something that bad teams can’t do last night. They won a 1-0 game, mostly on defense. It did involve some careless base running and pitching out of jams, but hanging on to a one run lead (scored on a double play, even) is one of the tougher things to do.

    Really not getting that optimistic. .500 is still a lofty goal. But it may not be as much of a nightmare as we thought for them to get to at least respectability.

    Does the Necronomicon have a spell for that?

    • Old Gator - May 12, 2012 at 2:03 PM

      It does, but you need to eviscerate a commissioner of baseball and burn his brain with mesquite leaves on a very, very small altar.

  10. mungman69 - May 12, 2012 at 2:32 PM

    Hey Old Gator: No one reads stories with more than 25 words. You are just wasting your time.

  11. APBA Guy - May 12, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    Inge-sanity indeed. We (A’s fans) were thrilled with him just not making errors at 3rd. But he’s made excellent plays as well, and given a boost to Pennington who is back down to 2 errors so far after last years serious defensive regression. With Barton at first the defense around the infield is excellent except for Weeks, who’s average. This matters with the A’s pitchers, as they try to induce ground balls.

    Milone’s change-up was working last night, and Porcello looked like the recent Porcello, serving it up to Reddick, et al. Cowgill was the latest addition via Sacramento, and with him in center it moved Reddick to right, so everyone was comfortable and the result was solid outfield defense.

    Plus it was a beautiful night. So add it up and 27,000, yes-you read that right-fans went home happy.

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