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Sounds like someone put Icy-Hot in Stephen Strasburg’s jock

May 15, 2012, 5:30 PM EDT

No, that’s not some metaphor. Mark Zuckerman of CSNWashington.com tweets from Davey Johnson’s postgame presser:

Strasburg had one of his worst outings ever against the Padres, allowing four runs on seven hits in four innings in a 6-1 loss.  If, indeed, someone put this foul, combustible stuff in something that later touched his bits and pieces, well, it’s all understood. And all forgiven.

And of course, it would also mean that Strasburg has an almost 100% certainty of having a new nickname.

But this raises more questions than it gives answers. Who would perpetrate such a heinous act? Why prank The Franchise on a day he’s pitching?  And, dear lord, why is Davey Johnson sharing this with reporters?

UPDATE: Forgot about this. Maybe he did it to himself and he just wants to be like Roger Clemens. Both of them were in Washington, D.C. today. Maybe Rocket was giving the young, um, fireballer a little professional advice!

UPDATE II:  Turns out it wasn’t Icy-Hot!  Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post reports that it was actually an ointment called “Hot Stuff.”  Tomorrow, Kilgore’s editors at the post will give him Bob Woodward’s old office and Carl Bernstein’s old typewriter in honor of his tenacious investigative reporting of this matter.

UPDATE III:  I suppose we’re obligated to call Strasburg a “fireballer” now, huh?

  1. darthicarus - May 15, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    Can anyone confirm Cole Hamels was actually in Philly today?

    • kopy - May 15, 2012 at 5:38 PM

      According to Pedro Gomez, Hamels hasn’t denied this.

  2. vikesfansteve - May 15, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    All fun and games until the Nats loose the division by 1 game because some idiot decided his fun & games were more important than winning the pennant.

    • riverace19 - May 15, 2012 at 5:56 PM

      The idiots go far beyond the prank; the very first batter of the game lifted an easy fly ball to the OF which Ankiel and Beradina watched fall to the grass for a double. Then, the umpires allowed Strasburg to pitch in pouring rain which resulted in 2 walks in the first inning. Seeing-eye single up the middle and Presto! it looks like Stras is getting rocked. Stats can be very deceiving. The players were instructed to leave the field just as the rain was letting up, then told to resume play and every ump besides the home plate ump were not on the field when Stras warmed back up and was ready to throw the critical 3-2 pitch with the bags jacked.
      That is the pitch rifled up the middle for a 2-run single. Inning should have been over long before that.

      • evanwins - May 16, 2012 at 2:41 PM

        Boy, you guys love excuses, huh? You weren’t complaining about the umps when the called an RBI double foul or when Harper took a full swing and they ruled it a check, were you?

        And Strasburg got beat. Fair and square. Not because of some prank or whatever lame excuse you came up with.

        It’s funny, I saw an interview with him after the game where he said, “no excuses” and then gave several excuses. Nice.

    • dotdashx4 - May 15, 2012 at 9:12 PM

      They’re gonna lose the division by a lot more than one game. Stop dreaming.

    • muhangis - May 15, 2012 at 11:12 PM

      Obviously you’re a completely uptight snothead, and you make life miserable for everyone around you.

      • recoveringcubsfan - May 16, 2012 at 7:37 AM

        You’re right, because this is totally a thing that is essential for people to enjoy baseball. Not, you know, the baseball.

  3. opiedamus - May 15, 2012 at 5:49 PM

    “Lighten up, Francis” er…Steve the Viking…

  4. captainwisdom8888 - May 15, 2012 at 5:53 PM

    makes no sense that someone in the clubhouse would F with their ace like that (on the day of his start). If they wanna win he has got to be a big part of that. Is there a nervous equipment manager somewhere counting hundreds if not thousands of dollars for having perpetrated such an act? what the hell else could have happened?????

  5. mckludge - May 15, 2012 at 6:14 PM

    Whoever did this is a shoe-in for President of the Tri-Lambs.

    • Lewis Skolnick - May 15, 2012 at 10:10 PM

      We are the champions, my friends.

  6. jwp88 - May 15, 2012 at 6:15 PM

    the Gnats are showing there youth…
    waaahwaahhh…..

    • recoveringcubsfan - May 16, 2012 at 7:39 AM

      Nats haters our shewing they’re grammer.

  7. frankvzappa - May 15, 2012 at 6:26 PM

    In my day we used to powder our balls with Gold Bond, like real men. Sometimes the cheap stuff works best, even if you are rich.

    • pharmerbrown - May 15, 2012 at 6:38 PM

      “In my day, we used rock salt and gravel” – Old School Hamels

      • Fink - May 15, 2012 at 6:41 PM

        HAHAHA! Yes pharmerbrown, that was perfect!

      • Ben - May 15, 2012 at 6:52 PM

        http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3paxqn/

        Let this become a meme

      • Ben - May 15, 2012 at 7:08 PM
    • Utley's Hair - May 15, 2012 at 7:01 PM

      So you’re against every kind of so-called advances or improvements in all facets of baseball. Good to know. Now if they’d just do away with those damn batting helmets, catcher’s and umpire’s gear and position-specific gloves. Oh, and those newfangled drainage systems. And what’s this I hear about plumbing? Indoors? Blah….

      • protius - May 15, 2012 at 11:33 PM

        We’ve all heard that 25 monkeys playing baseball for 129 years will eventually win a World Series. Now, thanks to Phillies, we know this is true.

      • Utley's Hair - May 16, 2012 at 4:08 AM

        I thought i smelled something like rancid sour milk. I should have known it was protius. He calls them monkeys? How racist of you, dipsh!t.

        And here, ladies and gentlemen, is where protius resorts to his yadayadayada, blahblahblah verbiage, since he lives under a bridge.

      • protius - May 16, 2012 at 12:12 PM

        Q: How do you casterate an Philadelphia Phillies fan?
        A: Kick his sister in the mouth

      • protius - May 16, 2012 at 12:15 PM

        Q: What is the difference between a Phillies fan and a baby?
        A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

      • protius - May 16, 2012 at 12:16 PM

        Q: What’s the difference between an Philadelphia Phillies fan and a carp?
        A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

      • protius - May 16, 2012 at 4:24 PM

        A perfect example of a Phillies fan trying to act intelligent: Uses lower case “I”. Claims he smells rancid “sour” milk……LOL, well duh. Would non-sour milk smell rancid? I called who monkeys, and why is it racist; he doesn’t say? And he’s been posting his drivel here for how long? And he still doesn’t know he can say shit……….what a maroon.

        Next, he think’s he’s at the circus: Ladies and gentlemen……..and children of all ages:
        Q: How do you keep a Phillies fan from masterbating?
        A: You paint his dick Atlanta navy and scarlet and he won’t beat it for 4 years!

    • recoveringcubsfan - May 16, 2012 at 7:39 AM

      Balla Powder.

  8. jayquintana - May 15, 2012 at 7:36 PM

    Isn’t this something you do in Spring Training, not during the regular season?

  9. sabatimus - May 15, 2012 at 8:08 PM

    Anybody else think Lucas? Corey Haim?

  10. phillyphan83 - May 15, 2012 at 8:15 PM

    I can speak from personal experience on this..after using icyhot after a hs football game, I got the stuff in my eyes. apparently I didn’t wash my hands good enough. anyone think that maybe he did the same? anyone know if stras was applying the stuff to himself before the game? sounds more logical than someone sabotaging their own ace on a day he’s pitching, dontcha think?

  11. schmedley69 - May 15, 2012 at 8:49 PM

    It had to be those damn nerds again!

  12. dennisund - May 15, 2012 at 8:53 PM

    Nad-itude!

  13. dotdashx4 - May 15, 2012 at 9:10 PM

    Well at least it wasn’t the clear.

    Does that mean Strasburg is now known as firecrotch? Fitting name for a soulless ginger.

  14. micker716 - May 15, 2012 at 9:50 PM

    Who cares? Bryce Harper hit his second homer in two days. Two days!

  15. whittle79 - May 15, 2012 at 10:14 PM

    Thanks trainer I just won 50,000 on pro line !
    Thanks for the fireballer ! Haha

  16. Walk - May 15, 2012 at 11:51 PM

    Gentlemen place your bets.

  17. cosanostra71 - May 16, 2012 at 12:06 AM

    Icy Hot is not good in the jock. Gold Bond on the other hand…

  18. drummerdave20 - May 16, 2012 at 3:39 AM

    haha the nats have no shot at winning the nl east. wait until we get Howard and chase back. not to mention we have the best 3 pitchers in the game and best or 2nd best closer in the league. fuckibg idiots. enjoy first place for the next month then stfu bc after that, it’s over

    • dennisund - May 16, 2012 at 9:00 AM

      As a Phillies fan….really? Yeah I feel optimistic that the team has played horribly for a month and a half and still within striking distance, but let’s leave the snarky, mouth-foaming hatred to Craig.

  19. bbk1000 - May 16, 2012 at 7:07 AM

    Craig, you are truly the Perez Hilton of sports….wear the title with pride….

  20. kkolchak - May 16, 2012 at 7:38 AM

    If this were Idiocracy, Strasburg would be the featured guest on the top rated reality series, “Ow, My Balls!”

  21. azvikefan - May 16, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    we used to do that in high school in the 70′s. It was some stuff called atomic balm. everyone got it done to them at least once.

  22. foreverchipper10 - May 16, 2012 at 3:39 PM

    Locker room story alert. In high school I spent one year on the football team. One day, after showers, someone thought it would be funny to run around and get people in their man zone with icy hot. It was in stick form like deodorant so there was no touching of other mens areas. You could see who he hit by the pained expression and screams. The worst part about it was knowing what you were in for as the pain didn’t start right away. I got caught laughing at someone and was then struck with it. Not a good day my friends, not a good day indeed.

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