Skip to content

The Brewers gave away chorizo lawn ornaments at 5AM

May 15, 2012, 10:30 AM EDT


Remember last year when the Brewers gave away Bernie Brewer statues by hiding them in city parks? And how grubby hoarders hoarded them grubbily? God, that made me hate people more than I usually do.

Well, this morning the Brewers tried again, this time giving away Chorizo (from the sausage race) statues.  Instead of scattering them about parklands, they scattered them in a parking lot at the ballpark, beginning at 5 AM. They were gone in less than two hours:

Like firefighters rushing to a blaze, Milwaukee Brewers fans hurried early Tuesday morning to Miller Park to grab a Chorizo lawn ornament. The fun began at 5 a.m. as word spread online, on radio and television that the Brewers were hosting another collectibles giveaway, this time on the Miller Park grounds …  Media had been alerted ahead of time and were in place at 5 a.m. to watch the rush of fans entering the Molitor Lot, just north of I-94.

By 5:45 a.m., cars were lined up along Story Parkway waiting to get into the parking lot. And by 6:43 a.m., all of the lawn ornaments had been snapped up.

The parking lot location was chosen in order to limit the number of statues each person got, and it was pretty successful. Also: each statue came with a pair of game tickets to the upcoming series against the Giants.

Score one for the earlier risers.

  1. lembeck4 - May 15, 2012 at 10:43 AM

    And in the true spirit of capitalism, by 10:42 AM several of them are available on Ebay….

    • b7p19 - May 15, 2012 at 10:48 AM

      I really hate people. I get it, money is good, but can’t some things just be about fun? There were people that actually wanted the statues that won’t get them now because a bunch of idiots wanted to make a few bucks. As if the rain this morning wasn’t depressing enough, now I get reminded of the greed of people. Ugh.

      • Old Gator - May 15, 2012 at 11:02 AM

        How much will you take for one of your kidneys?

      • b7p19 - May 15, 2012 at 11:32 AM

        See, now thats what I’m talking about fun. No charge for you, Gator.

      • nightman13 - May 15, 2012 at 12:53 PM

        Welcome to America, make as much as you can with as little regard to everybody else as possible!

        I believe the founding fathers had matching tattoos that said that…

    • jimbo1949 - May 15, 2012 at 11:10 AM

      Are they selling the tickets too?

      • lembeck4 - May 15, 2012 at 11:14 AM

        It appears some gnomes come with tickets, some sans entry. Some are over $600 already….yikes. I remember seeing the Bernie Brewer gnomes from the last giveaway going for an arm and a leg as well. Who knew the secondary market for Brewers themed lawn ornaments was so strong?

      • jimbo1949 - May 15, 2012 at 11:23 AM

        Over $700 now and one has a Buy It Now for $1,000.00?

  2. b7p19 - May 15, 2012 at 10:44 AM

    I love that the Brewers do this stuff. Really cool.

    • Old Gator - May 15, 2012 at 11:27 AM

      Me too. It’s great when fights break out – old ladies whacking kids with their canes and trying to run them over with their scooters and wheelchairs; unemployed dockworkers braining duffers with beer bottles; soccer moms kicking priests in the balls….what’d be even more fun would be if they sent the sausages running around the field throwing handfulls of fifty dollar bills into the air from big mailsacks worn over their shoulders. Just because we’re so bored by soccer, that’s no reason not to have hooliganism at our sporting events, is it?

      • b7p19 - May 15, 2012 at 11:39 AM

        In some countries, people pay a lot of money to watch soccer moms (well football moms) kick priests in the balls. The Brewers are offering it for free. Good on them.

  3. Old Gator - May 15, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Here’s an idea. Why don’t they give away some of those ithyphallic “Pedro” dolls that Dan Quayle loved to play with on his makework official visits to South America?

  4. jimbo1949 - May 15, 2012 at 11:46 AM

    Craig, we’ll need a follow up report on this in a few weeks re: Police reports on stolen Chorizo lawn ornaments.

    • Old Gator - May 15, 2012 at 2:12 PM

      No point. After that corporate whore asshole Walker gets finished nuking the state budget, there won’t be enough cops left to follow up on the reports.

  5. muskyhunter2542 - May 15, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    Well the best part about this is that people are paying $100-$200 for these things on Ebay. Well The Brewers gift shop has them for $50. Stupid people!!!

    • mntreehugger - May 15, 2012 at 1:37 PM

      these are some of the same people who bought “ownership” stock in the packers.

      • muskyhunter2542 - May 15, 2012 at 1:49 PM

        No doubt!!!
        Coming from a Packers fan!!!

  6. ufullpj - May 15, 2012 at 1:04 PM

    The Brewers may be struggling now, but give them this – they are aggressive marketers, they listen to, and respond to fan’s wants & needs, and to the best of their ability, do what they can to put a competitive product on the field. Regardless of everyone’s thoughts on Braun, the 2002 Brewers wouldn’t have locked him up for 10 years; instead, they would have traded him for prospects that never panned out. They may not be perfect by any means, but they’re making the effort aggressively, which is cool.

    • jimbo1949 - May 15, 2012 at 2:43 PM

      Neatly coincides with the departure of the Bud Lite Era RIT(urmoil) 2004. Missmanagement and penury were it’s hallmarks.

  7. stlouis1baseball - May 15, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    The lawn ornament in the picture seems racist to me.

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. G. Stanton (2823)
  2. B. Crawford (2757)
  3. Y. Puig (2494)
  4. G. Springer (2435)
  5. C. Correa (2368)
  1. H. Pence (2327)
  2. H. Ramirez (2310)
  3. J. Hamilton (2269)
  4. J. Fernandez (2168)
  5. D. Wright (2142)