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Alex Gonzalez had his ACL surgery

May 17, 2012, 2:00 PM EDT

Alex Gonzalez AP

Brewers shortstop Alex Gonzalez had his ACL surgery this morning. In a surprise, the doctor announced afterward that it “was the least successful surgery ever. Really, I messed up. It’s a hot mess in that knee, and he would have been far better off with an amputation than the havoc I wreaked in that thing.”

Just kidding. It was successful. All surgeries are successful. No one ever says differently.

But it’s a serious injury, so Gonzalez is still toast for the season. And maybe forever? He’s 35 and can’t really hit anymore. His glove is still solid, but if he wants a job next year he’s going to have to show that he hasn’t lost any mobility due to the surgery.

  1. philly56 - May 17, 2012 at 2:40 PM

    You might think that, but I bet you wouldn’t think that anymore if you became one of the hundreds of patients accidently set on fire every year during surgical procedures.

  2. chalkruz1989 - May 17, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    I knew there was a reason that I have never heard of your name before. Your writing is clownish, to be quite frank embarrassing. If you were a writer starting out, such as myself, I’d understand for the attention-grabbing headlines that are completely untrue, but, for an adult such as yourself it’s definitely sad. Keep up the dreadful work!

    (And it says something for myself to bash your writing. As a fellow writer, I try to be positive but you’re a reason why we are looked at in a bad light. I might only be starting out, but, I’d rather fail and do it right then take my job in such a joking manner like yourself.)

    • Gobias Industries - May 17, 2012 at 3:10 PM

      That was perhaps the most irritating internet comment I have ever read.

    • harrysatchel - May 17, 2012 at 3:49 PM

      Grammatically, it shows that you are a writer just starting out. You should leave the hard-hitting journalistic replies to the professionals. Also, it is bad form to like your own comment.

    • ezthinking - May 17, 2012 at 3:55 PM

      “Alex Gonzalez had his ACL surgery”

      What’s misleading about the headline. If you can’t figure out the difference between a headline and the body of the piece, give up writing right now. Your use of the parenthetical is incorrect and your punctuation is wrong as well. Simply put, you suck at writing. I hear there is a shortage of jizz-moppers though.

    • ezthinking - May 17, 2012 at 3:55 PM

      “Alex Gonzalez had his ACL surgery”

      What’s misleading about the headline? If you can’t figure out the difference between a headline and the body of the piece, give up writing right now. Your use of the parenthetical is incorrect and your punctuation is wrong as well. Simply put, you suck at writing. I hear there is a shortage of jizz-moppers though.

  3. psousa1 - May 17, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    Good one Craig. I enjoy your mix of humor and insight. Just kidding: No I don’t.

  4. blues1988 - May 17, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    i thought it was quite funny. people getting their panties all in a bunch over a little joke, get over it. especially harrysatchel, what a dbag. brewers suck anyway so who cares

  5. foreverchipper10 - May 17, 2012 at 5:52 PM

    Jeez rough crowd today. Everyone is rather uptight for a Thursday…

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