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A comprehensive guide to on-field profanity

May 21, 2012, 10:30 AM EDT

bob-davidson-and-kirk-gibson Getty Images

Sam Miller of Baseball Prospectus has put together a guide to on-field F-bombs. Something of a taxonomy, actually, categorizing the different ways in which said bombs are thrown. Example:

If you stand in the umpire’s face and yell “F***. S***” you’ll get ejected. If you walk away and say it just loud enough to be heard, but not so loud that you’re demanding a reaction, you can pretty much get your point across and live to get another plate appearance.

And he pairs these observations up with animated GIFs showing recent examples.  Which are all glorious, because we’re all basically kids and swearing is a lot of fun.  Don’t lie and say it’s not.

Arglebargle, filth and foul.

  1. skeleteeth - May 21, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    You could both hear Kirk Gibson’s words and read his lips when he was offering Bob Davidson career advice in that argument pictured there. “You should retire, Bob! You should retire.”

    • Old Gator - May 21, 2012 at 2:29 PM

      Kirk was being generous. What he meant was, “you should wear opaque contact lenses and try crossing the Maricopa Freeway on foot at five thirty on a weekday afternoon.”

  2. mikeb119 - May 21, 2012 at 11:12 AM

    A picture of Bob Davidson in an argument?? Get the F*** out of here.

  3. Old Gator - May 21, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    Miller’s guide is helpful, informative and long overdue. Roland Barthes died twenty two years too soon; graduate students in the imaginary left-wing universities that populate the maps of right wing paranoid delusion would be studying his response to Miller for a generation – and doubtless writing dissertations on it.

  4. seeinred87 - May 21, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    Sam Miller is great, easily my favorite over at BP.

    His article “The Secret to Getting a Hit” is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, about the Padres pitchers trying to get a hit.

    “Who is the best hitter in baseball?” Volquez asked us. We all agreed it’s Jose Bautista. “I bet he’s never hit a ball farther than 80 feet,” Volquez said. “That’s the trick.” Dang it. We had forgotten we were all supposed to be ignoring Volquez.”

    Check it out if you have a BP membership.

  5. lanflfan - May 21, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    Great read, and all too true. The video clips made the story.

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