And not that anyone was watching. The entire West Coast was glued to the King mowing down the Rangers with an assortment of movement that could not possibly emanate from human hands. I’ve been waiting for the real King to make an appearance this year, the one who can do what was done last night, and he finally showed up: 8 IP, 7K’s, 1.00 in-game WHIP. And if anything, he was better than that. Texas is the only team with an OPS over .800, #1 in team offense by a wide margin.

The A’s are 28th, and the Angel’s are 26th.

He was just a week late for the Pepsi Max Field of Dreams game at Huntington Park. That’s why he was driving so fast. I know I hit 90 on I-71 in order to see Bench, Reggie, Rickey and Pedro.

I wouldn’t worry too much about last nights performance Yankee Fan. Now, if Luke Hochevar..and his 7.09 ERA shuts you down…then I’d be worried.

/pedantics

But the Astros had three home runs again. The Force must have been tied in a granny knot before the night was over.

Maybe I’m crazy but it’s not only that our new ball park is drawing good crowds, it’s that for the first time in their history the Marlins have a home field advantage because 90% of the fans there are Marlins fans. And this factor will help a team that just doesn’t quit

I think I’m heading over to Oye Grill this morning for a Cuban french toast stuffed with maduros (sweet plantains) myself. And the barista, though she’s not the lissome Brie from the Luna Star Cafe, isn’t bad either. Such are the culinary delights of Macondo.

Aroldis, though, made his choice. He’s immured in the midwest, but he can wean himself off his native cuisine on Cincinnati chili and goetta and eggs. Hint on the chili: Camp Washington chili is the best of them, followed closely by Blue Ash and Dixie Chili, in no particular order. The two big industrial strength brands, Skyline (pronounced Skah-lee-ni) and Gold Star, don’t come close. Camp Washington will indulge you by dumping a ladle of their ambrosial chili over a couple of fried eggs on whole wheat toast and topping that with diced onions and shredded cheese (this latter item offered in such copious portions that you just know it’s a renewable resource; they must squeeze their cows till it hurts up there). If you;re going to be stuck in Cincinnati, goetta is a must – you can get your life-extending oatmeal and your fried pork in the same traditional wartime favorite breakfast dish. My wife occasionally mistakes the tube of the stuff in our fridge for the very similar looking haute bourgeois overpriced dog food the wan look on Fido, our odd Hemingway hound, guilts her into overpaying for, but you can mark the tubes with a permanent marker so you don’t make the same mistake, Aroldis.

He can also hit the Mad Frog on off-Mondays to hear a great salsa band.

Mark Buehrle endured a rough four run first inning and then settled in and gave up nothing more until the eighth, when Randy Choate came on and gagged the Rocky Mountain Oysters the rest of the way. Rocky Mountain Oysters have the same effect on me, by the way, but I’ve dated some women who would probably love to bit into a few. Anyway, Buehrle got the beeeg fourth inning underway with a double, at which point we were able to see that he has shaved the lichen off from around his lips to give himself a nineteenth century whaling bosun’s demeanor. Sometimes our odd Hemingway hound Fido jumps up and licks me when I come home and the outermost layer of epithelium peels off my cheek and the beard goes with it, too. And then, of course, there’s all those hairs of his getting stuck in my T-shirt – but what of that. I enjoy kicking back on the couch – which we’ve covered in plastic now – with a can of Ensure and watching the game with Fido, who likes to curl up in his corner by the ceiling and watch with me. For some reason, though, he gets very upset when a fly lands and walks across the screen. I wish he would stop hanging upside down like that because when he gets agitated he drools on the coffee table, and it’s ruining the finish.

Anyway, the exciting news – getting back to ballistics – is that the Feesh finally made it to four games out from the Strange Attractor last night on the strength of the Iron Giant’s thrusters. According to some printouts at the NOUS center’s data center, couple of our low-cost, disposable mylar sonds did detect additional, slightly indignant turbulence emanating from the Attractor’s statistical processors so we might not be clear of the inertial belt quite yet. Tonight, Ricky Nolasco – we’re not sure yet if it’s the good Ricky or his pod person evil twin – goes into battle, looking for that big 69 that will make him the winningest peetcher in Feesh history, brief as it is. If he screeches at the umpire after his first bad call, we’ll know we’re in trouble.

The guys they have left can still provide enough offense but they can’t afford to lose another starter.

Tonight, 22 year old Matt Moore who was an early favorite for ROY goes against 21 year old Drew Hutchinson who spent most of last season in Single A. Moore was much more highly touted coming into the season, but so far, Hutchinson has been the better pitcher.

The Stanton Video was great…..but NBC would probably like even more video links, I know I would.