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Police question the woman found tied-up in Aroldis Chapman’s hotel room

May 31, 2012, 11:00 AM EDT

chapman getty Getty Images

The plot thickens in the weird Aroldis Chapman hotel robbery case. The woman who was found tied up in his room was questioned by police yesterday. And then she was released to her husband. Which is all well and good except:

Mr. Chapman, a 24-year-old left-handed pitcher, told police that he and Ms. Manrique recently started dating after meeting in the Baltimore area.

Well, that’s awkward.

As is the whole robbery scenario itself, as the linked story goes to great lengths to explain how stringent security is at the hotel in question.  Reading between the lines, one almost gets the sense that the reporter was getting fed some background by police and/or hotel security who are skeptical of the woman’s story and want to communicate that they do not believe that some random act of criminality occurred. I’m guessing more will come of this.

As for Chapman: in the past two weeks he has either been explicitly or implicitly accused of being a reckless driver, a home-wrecker and a tool of the communists in an effort to carry out political persecutions.  At this point I got even money that Chapman is running a panda smuggling operation out of his apartment or something. He’s likely got grifts going all up and down the Ohio Valley.

As for this crime in question: I’ll tell you what I’m blathering about… I’ve got information man! New s— has come to light! And s—… man, she kidnapped herself. Well sure, man. Look at it… a young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know, and she, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that’s cool… that’s, that’s cool, I’m, I’m saying, she needs money, man. And of course they’re going to say that they didn’t get it, because… she wants more, man! She’s got to feed the monkey, I mean uh… hasn’t that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?

Yeah.

  1. seanthegreatest - May 31, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    The Dude abides

  2. Joe - May 31, 2012 at 9:29 PM

    I’m glad I don’t have $10 million invested in Chapman. This isn’t going to end well, I don’t think.

    Oh, and I love the Big L. I’m in my bathrobe drinking a White Russian as we speak.

  3. vincentbojackson - May 31, 2012 at 10:54 PM

    Something got lost in translation. He apparently thinks he plays for the Bengals and is trying to drum up some street cred.

  4. braddavery - May 31, 2012 at 11:28 PM

    Nothing is fucked, here.

  5. sdelmonte - Jun 1, 2012 at 12:41 AM

    This really shouldn’t be funny, you know.

    Who am I kidding? It’s bizarrely hysterical.

    But no love for the Simpsons reference?

  6. muckthefets23 - Jun 1, 2012 at 3:54 AM

    Gator I’m in total agreement Ben Gazzara was a cinema juggernaut!! I mean come on, Roadhouse….Nuff said…

  7. rico7207 - Jun 1, 2012 at 12:42 PM

    Deport the bum.

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