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Tweet of the Day: Chris Perez on measuring “heart and balls”

Jun 7, 2012, 9:40 AM EDT

Indians’ closer Chris Perez woke up this morning and had some thoughts about sabermetrics:

Perez doesn’t know how this works. I can guarantee you that within 48 hours some clever stathead is going to write a column trying to quantify heart and/or balls, just to annoy Perez. It may be funny or it may be a half-serious attempt, but it’s gonna happen.

And I hope that if they do make a metric to quantify balls that the unit of measurement is called the “Andrelton.”

  1. joshfrancis50 - Jun 7, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    I thought the Bonds trial taught us all that an orchidometer CAN measure balls.

  2. ajcardsfan - Jun 7, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    I regret clicking on that link…should have known better..

    Also, for those using pre-2010 terms, 1 Andrelton = 4 Sosas (Down side to ‘roid use – some shrinkage will occur)

  3. heyblueyoustink - Jun 7, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    I would have thought the Krukenheit would have been the preferred unit of measurement, being more exact for fractions.

  4. number42is1 - Jun 7, 2012 at 10:03 AM

  5. stlouis1baseball - Jun 7, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    I love Chris Perez. I would also love for him to still be pitching for the Cardinals.
    Whether you agree with him or not…the dude calls it like he see’s it.

    • The Rabbit - Jun 7, 2012 at 1:59 PM

      Me too.
      I saw his first ML appearance live at Busch. It was interleague against the Rays. He was wild as hell but he sure could bring it.
      I was really surprised that the Cards traded him because it was obvious (to this non-professional) that he had very good stuff that just needed better control….and with Dave Duncan as the Second Coming of pitching coaches that should have been a reasonably easy fix.

      • stlouis1baseball - Jun 7, 2012 at 2:14 PM

        Yeah…for Mark DeRosa. After checking I was reminded that was in 2009. Seems longer.

  6. Jeremy Fox - Jun 7, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    Why not? There’s already a way to quantify “grit”:

    • umrguy42 - Jun 7, 2012 at 10:41 AM

      They’re all related to the “scrappiness quotient” too.

      • cur68 - Jun 7, 2012 at 11:05 AM

        Scrappiness is measured in the Eckstein Unit. A full 1 EU = David Eckstein’s scrappiness . . or about 5′ 6″. It might not seem like a lot, but its worth exactly one WS MVP award. Not bad, eh?

  7. Old Gator - Jun 7, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    The number is three, leaving aside all numerary adjuncts and genetic aberrations notwithstanding. What, this is rocket science? Clearly, Chris Perez made it through college on an athletic scholarship that never paid for remedial math classes – though who knows which one of the two greatest guys in the universe had his back for the SATs.

  8. butchhuskey - Jun 7, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    New stats from SABR show that Jonathan Papelbon has large doberman testicles.

  9. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jun 7, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    TT% – testicular tenacity percentage.

    For pitchers, this would mean how often they “go after” a batter, and how often their out pitch is successful. Things like intentional walks would lower this percentage tremendously. Be a man, have some balls – pitch to the guy.
    Measure total pitches, add up how many pitches have these kinds of scenarios, and there’s your TT%.

    I haven’t fully developed this, but running into an outfield wall to catch a ball, or making a diving play, has to improve your TTF% as well – testicular tenacity fielding percentage.

    • stlouis1baseball - Jun 7, 2012 at 11:08 AM

      And there you have it people. Matt is all over this like a second shirt!

  10. Chris Fiorentino - Jun 7, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    Greatest. Tweet. Ever.

    Thank you Chris Perez. You are the man.

  11. hasbeen5 - Jun 7, 2012 at 1:01 PM

    Craig, I’m a Braves fan. Have been since I knew what baseball was. But your obsession with the crotch of a rookie shortstop is borderline creepy. Maybe even already south of the border.

    • stlouis1baseball - Jun 7, 2012 at 2:15 PM

      Yeah…I am a little worried for him as well.

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