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“Bryce Harper is a conservative hero”

Jun 15, 2012, 4:32 PM EDT

Bryce Harper AP

Know what? You can read politics into too many things. Like this clown from the Daily Caller, who has decided that Bryce Harper is symbolic of some conservative rebirth, because he hustles and Jason Heyward is symbolic of liberalism because he’s lazy and complacent.

Normally that kind of construction is indicative of some sort of racism too — look at the industrious white man and the lazy black man! — but I think this guy is so enamored of seeing the political in everything that race isn’t even on his mind. No, his idiocy is pretty much monomaniacally political:

Bryce Harper is a conservative hero. The star rookie for the Washington Nationals has woken up Major League Baseball, and watching it unfold has reminded me of nothing so much as the collapse of the old political paradigms and the inevitable and upcoming rebirth of conservatism in November …

Harper is “scrappy” — yes, he uses the word scrappy — because he took an extra base when he hit a single to right against the Braves. Heyward is some old awful liberal because he was slow getting to the ball:

To me, the play carried even greater symbolic importance. Heyward’s bungle showed a complacency, if not indolence, that Harper threatens to destroy, but it also could be a metaphor for the collapse of the old liberal order. Heyward was like one of those public school teachers who, because they are a union member, can’t be fired and so are relegated to the “rubber room” to sit and read the paper and gather a check for the rest of their lives.

I don’t know if this is worse baseball analysis or political analysis, but it’s all kinds of bad either way.

  1. Kyle - Jun 15, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    LOL humanity.

  2. skerney - Jun 15, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    After this drivel, I’m done with the internet for the day. Give me a break.

    • purnellmeagrejr - Jun 16, 2012 at 8:37 AM

      uke Scott is the True Conservative Hero.” Someone in full flight from reality and desperate to fit the world into a bizarrre set of misconceptions.

  3. shawndc04 - Jun 15, 2012 at 4:40 PM

    Craig, why would you even give publicity to a publication that most have never heard of, let alone read, and a writer who has no baseball credentials or knowledge at all?

    • Jeremy T - Jun 15, 2012 at 4:44 PM

      Because sometimes it’s fun to laugh at stupid people? Although this particular one might be more depressing than fun…

      • Jeremy T - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:39 PM

        I’m surprised at the number of down-thumbs here. To clarify, I’m not saying he’s stupid because he’s conservative. I’m saying he’s stupid because he’s taking something completely unrelated to anything political and stretching it into a ridiculous, almost painful to read article supporting his own political ideology. It’s quite possible that I actually would agree with the author on most points. What I don’t agree with is his method of presenting those points.

      • Jeremy T - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:41 PM

        For the record, when I posted that it was 11-up, 10-down, which suggested to me my comment was possibly being read as that of a godless commie liberal elitist… or something :)

      • anxovies - Jun 16, 2012 at 10:10 AM

        Jeremy, you were right the first time. The idea is just plain stupid.

  4. micbg77 - Jun 15, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    what’s worse is anytime you bring your liberal hack P.O.V. into this baseball blog. I just want to read about baseball dude!

    • brewcrewfan54 - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:06 PM

      Which part does he mention anything about being a liberal? I think whichever way you lean politically you should be able to read this article and think that this guy is a nut job.

    • cur68 - Jun 15, 2012 at 6:11 PM

      New to blogs, bro? Must be. The author’s POV is integral to the nature of a blog. Perhaps what you want is a news site? There’s plenty of them, so you’re spoiled for choice.

      • Old Gator - Jun 15, 2012 at 6:55 PM

        Sure, if you;re averse to liberal hack, there’s lots of knuckledragger hack POV over on the Trailer Park Network. And there’s always Flush….

  5. fearlessleader - Jun 15, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    There’s no shortage of awesome comments on this article, but this may be my favorite:

    “The Nationals picked Harper first overall because they had the worst record in baseball. They didn’t earn that pick through hard work, in fact they worked the least and were rewarded for it. That sounds like income redistribution to me. Bryce Harper is a socialist hero.”

    • Ben - Jun 15, 2012 at 4:47 PM

      That’s awesome. I also feel like there’s some sort of joke here about conservatives being born on third base and thinking they hit a triple.

      • mybrunoblog - Jun 15, 2012 at 4:59 PM

        Just like liberal fans are in love with the luxury tax.
        I guess liberal fans also enjoy the practice of “revenue sharing” where small market teams get wads of money From big market teams. Of course they often don’t use that $ on salaries but line the pockets of the wealthy owners.
        Damm, did Obama negotiate the last baseball CBA?

    • fearlessleader - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:07 PM

      Mybrunoblog, honey, I think the commenter’s point was simply that one can twist this story (like so many others) to fit whatever political ideology one’s pushing.

      • cur68 - Jun 15, 2012 at 6:13 PM

        Fearless, the irony of your comment may be entirely lost on Mybrunoblog, but just so you know, ISWYDT.

    • anxovies - Jun 16, 2012 at 10:18 AM

      As opposed to, say, the Yankees, who are consistently successful and always pick near the end and have to work at finding good draft picks. And the Yankees wear pin stripes and have been around for a century are considered a conservative team, and the Nationals are the up and coming new guys who are from Washington, D.C., the hotbed of liberalism. This could be a metaphor for the whole nation. I take back my comment about the guy being stupid. This is genius!

  6. jfwiii - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    We’re close to the trifecta of inane accusations against Craig:

    1. You’re just giving them publicity by writing about it.
    2. You’re just forcing your far left godless commie values on us.

    Anyone ready to claim that this article is somehow baiting Phillies fans?

    Come on, this isn’t Conservapedia we’re reading here. It’s just pointing out a hackish comparison, and if you think it is not newsworthy or is biased in some way, just read something else.

    • snowbirdgothic - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:12 PM

      To be fair, today Craig is hating the Mets.

    • klbader - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:34 PM

      This is obviously baiting Phillies fans. Think about it. The blog is about two players. One, white, from the Nationals. The other player is a black man. It is not unusual to hear a black man called “brother.” Philadelphia is the “City of Brotherly Love.” So Craig is just trying to draw attention to this blog post, which is ultimately about how the Nationals are better than the Phillies.

  7. brewcrewfan54 - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:03 PM

    The shame is this moron probably has a loyal following of people who believe everything he writes.

  8. noozehound - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:03 PM

    stopped reading as soon as you played the race card. When in doubt, blame conservatives as racists. I SHOULD’VE stopped reading as soon as i saw it was Calcaterra’s article.

    • stlouis1baseball - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:18 PM

      Noozehound: You must know that ANYTIME a minority/person of color is criticized the person doing the criticizing is blatantly racist. Really no different than the cops drawing their guns on Torii Hunter. I mean…sure…the burglar alarm was going off. Sure…Torii didn’t have I.D. Sure…they didn’t know who he was. It matters not. They are clearly racist bastards!

      • The Common Man - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:03 PM

        I know, it’s so horrible how Craig pointed that out in this case. Even though he specifically said that he didn’t think the writer was being racist in this case. But seriously, it’s totally unfair how people are constantly pointing out when conservatives* are constantly doing that.

        *And let’s be clear, this isn’t all conservatives, many of whom are actually self-aware, decent people, but a subset of conservatives who are completely blind to their own bullshit.

    • byesac - Jun 17, 2012 at 1:44 AM

      You could just as easily point out that Dee Gordon always comes to play, hustle, etc… while JD Drew was the lackadaisical and complacent player. This is obviously not a racist statement.

      Of course, I agree that the racist line was not necessary, but Craig is otherwise a decent writer.

  9. sleepyirv - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:04 PM

    The guy who interrupted the President was from the Daily Caller. I’m beginning to think Tucker Carlson might not know what he’s doing.

    • tmohr - Jun 15, 2012 at 8:40 PM

      I have it on good authority that the bow tie he wore for years cut off the flow of blood to his brain, resulting in brain damage that has manifested itself in a crappy website.

      • nagaswan - Jun 16, 2012 at 11:19 AM

        I have it on good authority that he and a friend committed a violent hate crime in Georgetown Park years ago. Where did I hear about it…? Oh yeah, he bragged about it on TV.

  10. chill1184 - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    Rebirth of conservatism? LMAO Conservatism is a joke just like liberalism. They preach liberty but when given power they support statism only a to hair smaller degree than the left does. Conservatism is like Rex Ryan all talk but no action. You cons here on HBT are going to tell me that Romney is different than Obama LOL give me a break!

  11. deathmonkey41 - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    In all honestly- what the hell happened to Heyward? Wasn’t he supposed to be the next Willie Mays? I come away completely unimpressed when I watch him.

    • seattlej - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:32 PM

      I’ll grasp onto the baseball comment here and go with it… This is regurgitated, but I’ve heard experts opine the the injury to his shoulder was worse than has been let on and that it’s either still bothering him so that he can’t swing correctly, or that his swing got so jacked-up when he was adjusting it because of injury that he can’t get it straightened back out. Either way, the swing apparently just doesn’t look the same as it used to.

    • biasedhomer - Jun 15, 2012 at 6:01 PM

      One of the most overrated prospects in recent history.

  12. jwbiii - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:26 PM

    Well-compensated members of powerful unions are conservative heroes?

    • fearlessleader - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:28 PM

      “Oh, FACTS! You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!” –Homer Simpson

    • mybrunoblog - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:54 PM

      Professional sports are the exception to the rule. American unions have mostly been marginalized. Even the public sector unions are considerably weaker then they were even 3 or 4 years ago. The times they are a changin.

  13. byjiminy - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:26 PM

    Wow! That’s a clown column, bro.

    • jashton11 - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:42 PM

      I was just getting ready to say that I’m disappointed Craig didn’t go with the headline: “That’s a clown analysis, bro.”

  14. cruuuzcontrol - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    Mike Trout is a socialist hero with all his equal distributions of dominance across the five tools. A true man of the people.

  15. yahmule - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    An absurdly stupid assertion from a borderline racist conservative. Man, you hardly ever see that, except, you know, continuously.

  16. Jonny 5 - Jun 15, 2012 at 5:36 PM

    So where is the Manny Ramirez is a fine example of our immigration policies angle? Dude let that one slip right through his fingers huh?

    • jwbiii - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:22 PM

      Manny Ramirez is a job creator, assuming that neither he nor his wife launder his butt towels.

    • jwbiii - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:33 PM

      Speaking of Manny, it might be time to roll the credits.

      A’s grant Manny Ramirez his outright release

    • chill1184 - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:22 PM

      Im sure if you dig deep enough you can find some column by cold war relic Pat Buchanan (or someone like him) calling Baseball or any of the major leagues a huge affirmative action program, anti-white or some other bs paleoconservative reasoning.

      • jwbiii - Jun 16, 2012 at 5:06 PM

        I didn’t look for long and I didn’t find that, but I did find a very nice eulogy for Hank Bauer

        Perhaps this will help me keep the (military) careers of Hanks Bauer and Sauer straight:
        Bauer: Marines, Okinawa
        Sauer: 4th Inf, Hurtgen Forest
        Both excellent opportunities to have your next of kin collect on your GI life insurance policies.

  17. proudliberal85392 - Jun 15, 2012 at 6:51 PM

    Anything in The Daily Caller is claptrap. Why bother with this baloney?

    • jwbiii - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:40 PM

      We got a Keith Olbermann baloney piñata yesterday and a Daily Caller one today. Fair and balanced claptrap.

  18. Brian Murphy - Jun 15, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    Skullet haircut.

    Six coats of eye black.

    Vegas resident.

    Presenting the face of conservatism!

  19. raider2124 - Jun 15, 2012 at 8:25 PM

    If Hayward wasnt lazy Harper would not of advanced the base. He hustles and heyward doesn’t. To inject racism into an article just shows your Marxist beliefs. Racism is an excuse to blame someone else for your own failures.

  20. braddavery - Jun 15, 2012 at 8:37 PM

    This is just… wow. Are you… What the… Huh???

  21. muir6 - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    Lazy huh , sounds like someone got a old hood in the closet

  22. emopell - Jun 16, 2012 at 12:32 AM

    Why can’t right wingers just let people live and let live! I don’t care what players politics is but if it matters I’ll root against you just because it matters to you.

  23. 1historian - Jun 16, 2012 at 8:18 AM

    Suggestion – Let’s just skip calling whoever wrote this drivel a racist and go straight to idiot.

    Or you could combine the two – that works.

    FYI – I am a white conservative.

  24. dieselfan44 - Jun 16, 2012 at 8:54 AM

    Good lord it was one play..I bleed nats red but Heyward is pretty damn was a great hustle play by harp which is now nothing new…guess this guy had a slow day and needed something to do

  25. NJgriffNC - Jun 17, 2012 at 12:41 AM

    Less Craig Calcaterra personality, more baseball please.

    • 18thstreet - Jun 19, 2012 at 5:11 PM

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