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Some blogger smells a Mike Piazza conspiracy

Jun 15, 2012, 9:12 AM EST

10 METS FAYTOK

Some random unemployed blogger is hurling accusations at Mike Piazza. The claim: it’s a grand conspiracy that his book is going to come out after the Hall of Fame election results this winter. Because it clearly will have steroid-use admissions in it and once he’s already elected to the Hall of Fame there will be nothing anyone can do about it:

Maybe Simon & Schuster has innocently planned the Piazza publication for soon after the announcement for marketing purposes, but it might just as easily have agreed to a post-election publication to insure that the book would not keep Piazza out of the Hall.

If, on the other hand, the book includes a steroids admission, all I can say is shame on Piazza and his publisher. With that possibility in mind, though, the voters would be wise to withhold their votes from Piazza until a future election. He will have 14 more chances.

Because it’s so STRANGE for a baseball book to come out in February!  I mean, apart from the fact that every single baseball book ever has been released to coincide with pitchers and catchers reporting, this smacks of sinister intent!

Oh well, Chass is gonna Chass. He’s been obliquely accusing Piazza of being a steroids user for years now, claiming  res ipsa loquitur regarding Piazza back acne he once witnessed in the clubhouse. Never mind that dermatologists do not agree with Mr. Chass that back acne he witnessed is dispositive of anything.

None of which is to say that Chass is wrong about this. It’s entirely possible that Mike Piazza took steroids. It’s entirely possible that his book is going to talk about it. But if Chass is right about it he’s just guessing here. If he had something more than a hunch and a guess, he’d report it. What would stop him?

  1. The Common Man - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    I had no idea (I had some idea) that the venerable not-blogger (who is a blogger) Murray Chass was suspected (probably correctly) of committing plagiarism on not one but numerous occasions. For Chass to raise these non-allegations about Piazza to the world to distract us from his ongoing struggle to prove he didn’t plagiarize every article he wrote while working for the New York Times is shameful.

    • cur68 - Jun 15, 2012 at 11:03 AM

      I hear that Pedro Gomez does not deny that Chass (who’s been putting the ‘ass” in ‘Chass’ since 1938) plagerises everything.

    • raysfan1 - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:55 PM

      Does Mr Chass still beat his wife?

  2. Old Gator - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    Not to put too fine a point on it, but really, who gives a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut what Murray Chass thinks?

    • lazlosother - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:36 AM

      Kilgore Trout does.

      • Old Gator - Jun 15, 2012 at 2:06 PM

        Your heart is in the right place, but the wrong novel. Slapstick. But at least you found the blog which is among all blogs the most like a badly run turkey farm.

    • skids003 - Jun 15, 2012 at 11:01 AM

      Old Gator, for once, I agree with you 100%. Plus, anyone who wrote for the NYT rag can’t be trusted, can they?

      • Old Gator - Jun 15, 2012 at 2:03 PM

        You want to talk about Michiko Kakutani? Huh? You wanna talk about Mickiko? Go ahead, let’s talk about that chandelier swinging upper west side literati cow who never should have been permitted to review anything except cookbooks….

  3. pharmerbrown - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:23 AM

    Going high-brow with the Latin legal terms today? I’m gonna have to assume that you meant something along the lines of demonstrated guilt, or guilt by consequence, or something like that.

    His claim is that Pizza-back implies steroids is interesting. What if Magic Mike was just a late bloomer? My HS locker room was filled with pizza-backs.

    • garik16 - Jun 15, 2012 at 11:34 AM

      Res Ipsa Loquitor translates to “The Thing speaks for itself.”

  4. mybrunoblog - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    I don’t give a rats ass who Mike PIazza sleeps with or doesn’t sleep with. None of my business.
    I do however have interest in the Piazza book if he admitted to the use of PED’s.
    For what it’s worth i think Chass is retired not unemployed. He is 73 years old. The NY times is either paying him a pension or gave him a substantial buyout when he retired a few years ago.

    • 18thstreet - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:42 AM

      I object to the fact that Bruno makes reasonable points about Chass’s employment status. I thought we’ve all agreed to take unfair cheap shot at Murray Chass.

      For shame.

      • Old Gator - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:44 AM

        Murray Chass’ mother wore army boots.

        There. Back on track.

  5. aceshigh11 - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    I glanced at the title and only saw “smells pizza”…now I’m hungry. Thanks, Craig.

  6. tuftsb - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    Proactiv is sponsoring the Piazza book tour.

  7. dirtyharry1971 - Jun 15, 2012 at 9:59 AM

    I dont know if Piazza used or not but i know he was a cry baby who acted as if he was the only guy who ever got beaned with a pitch. Clemens should have stuck a bat up his arse after the way he cried

    • aceshigh11 - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:13 AM

      Ah, yes…that’s the trenchant, erudite analysis we’ve come to expect from you these last couple of years.

      You’re truly a mental giant among ants.

    • snowbirdgothic - Jun 15, 2012 at 11:26 AM

      I believe he tried. No, wait, he thought that long, jagged piece of wood was the ball. Which you don’t actually throw at the runner anyway.

  8. churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:05 AM

    Craig, are you and Tom Tango the only people who still read Murray Chass? As Harry Pavlidis said on twitter, we all have that crazy neighbor, but we don’t go hang out and listen to them…

  9. flyerscup2010 - Jun 15, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    wut

  10. beearl - Jun 15, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    I read Chass for the same reason I follow Jose Canseco on Twitter. For the comedy of it all.

    My favorite routine of his is when he rails against the neo stat-geek crowd and then uses statistics to back up his (often incorrect) arguments. Get it? Pure hilarity! The guy is a comedy genius, I tell you. GENIUS!

  11. Detroit Michael - Jun 15, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    I’m sure we can imagine other things that might be in the book but that would not help Piazza’s Hall of Fame candidacy:
    … Piazza has always had a secret crush on Roger Clemens.
    … Despite not having been born yet, Piazza believes he was hiding behind the grassy knoll when JFK was shot.
    … Piazza hopes that he is depicted wearing a Marlins cap on his Hall of Fame plague.
    … [Fill in your own made-up claim with no factual basis.]

    • Detroit Michael - Jun 15, 2012 at 12:07 PM

      *plaque*

  12. savocabol1 - Jun 15, 2012 at 12:46 PM

    Can we please revisit this once the book comes out?

  13. jimmybananahamok - Jun 15, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    At least its not the whole “gay thing” again.

  14. Chipmaker - Jun 16, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    If the book does contain steroids admissions and Piazza misses getting elected in January, the publisher will withdraw it for “editoral purposes”. Otherwise Piazza would go from “suspected clean” 72% to a Palmeiro-esque 12%, and while that would have its entertaining aspects, I can’t see anyone preferred that set of outcomes. No one worth listening to anyway.

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