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And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights

Jul 4, 2012, 6:00 AM EDT

Chicago Cubs v Atlanta Braves Getty Images

Braves 10, Cubs 3: Chipper Jones was named to the All-Star team and then went out and put up a 5-for-5, 4 RBI night. Dude even stole a base. Which is nuts considering he was rejected from the leg transplant list as an unsuitable recipient at least five years ago. Of course I talk about him like he’s an doddering old man when he’s just over a year older than me. Either way, glad to see him leaving this game with something still left in the tank, even if the body is rusting a fair amount.

Brewers 13, Marlins 12: Wildness. The Marlins were down 9-2 entering the seventh, came back to tie it at 11 in the eighth and  took a one-run lead in the 10th. Then Aramis Ramirez tore their guts out with a two-run homer with two outs in the bottom of the tenth to walk it off. Of course the game took four hours and twenty-eight minutes, so Rick Reilly probably missed his dinner reservation. Pity.

White Sox 19, Rangers 2: Um, yeah. Let us not dwell only on Roy Oswalt being drawn and quartered to the tune of 11 runs on 13 hits in four and two-thirds. Let us also note that Chris Sale won his 10th game and lowered his ERA to 2.19. Didn’t need 16 runs of that support he got.

Mets 11, Phillies 1: Daniel Murphy and David Wright each drove in four and Jon Niese outdueld Vance Worley. What? I can use the word “outdueled” even if Worley got rocked. Just think of it as a duel between a master swordsman and a fat kid holding a piece of licorice

Rays 7, Yankees 4: Yankees had a 3-0 lead, blew it and lost. But they are in Tropicana Field, and it’s their own personal Hell, so I understand.

Pirates 8, Astros 7: Walkoff for Drew Sutton. The Pirates are eight games over .500 for the first time since 1992. Some of you probably weren’t born in 1992.

Blue Jays 6, Royals 3: Lots of blown leads/big comebacks last night. This one by the Jays, who were down 3-0 and then scored six unanswered runs. Well, unanswered by other runs. I suppose the Royals answered it with a lot of profanity and stuff.

Nationals 9, Giants 3: Remember last time out when we thought Tim Lincecum had finally figured it out? Yeah, turns out that was merely a function of the Dodgers sucking. Last night he was beat up again, allowing eight runs and nine hits in three and a third for one of the worst starts of his career. We gotta ask: is the dude hurt or what? Because this is not natural.

Dodgers 3, Reds 1: Luis Cruz doubled home the go-ahead run in the seventh, took third on the relay throw and then on a squeeze play that wasn’t — Johnny Cueto threw the ball too high for the hitter to make contact — Cruz was credited with a steal of home. Never mind that the throw went skipping to the backstop and could have been a wild pitch, it’s a steal of home because Cruz was running first. I’d say 75% of all steals of home plate don’t really look like we imagine what a steal of home looks like.

Padres 9, Diamondbacks 5: Young Trevor Bauer is highly touted, but if you get beat around by the Padres, you need a little more seasoning. Not that it was all good news for the Padres: Andrew Cashner had to leave after two innings due to a strained side.

Orioles 5, Mariners 4: Robert Andino homered in the top of the ninth to put the O’s over. Wei-Yin Chen was perfect for six and a third innings.

Rockies 3, Cardinals 2: Tyler Colvin is one of the few recent bright spots for Colorado. He’s 24 for 67 his last 18 games with seven homers and 22 RBIs. Last night his three-run blast was all the offense the Rockies needed.

Athletics 3, Red Sox 2: Alfredo Aceves blew a 2-1 lead in the ninth by allowing three singles and a sac fly. The Sox had a chance to pad that lead in the top of the inning but ran their way out of it when Nick Punto popped up a bunt which caused Mike Aviles to get doubled off first and then Ryan Kalish was caught stealing third base. Viva small ball.

Indians 9, Angels 5: Zach McAllister, who I got to see in Columbus earlier this year, so I’m gonna like him, showed some moxie. He was staked to a 4-0 lead, blew it in the fifth and was down 5-4, but regrouped and held on as his teammates scored some more and saved him. Lots of rookies would crumble in that situation.

Twins 8, Tigers 6: Trevor Plouffe and Josh Willingham each hit homers. Those two have been the freakin’ Bash Brothers for Minnesota this year. Good story for the Tigers though: Darin Downs pitched a scoress ninth inning. Downs fractured his skull and suffered brain swelling after getting hit by a line drive while pitching for Tampa Bay’s Double-A team in 2009. Guy could have died, and here he is now in the majors. Pretty incredible.

  1. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2012 at 7:15 AM

    I’ve already commented on last night’s Feesh debacle in the thread devoted to it a few parsecs back, so I won’t belabor the excruciating details therefrom except to compare it with Troy, Masada, Aleppo during the Third Crusade, Shimabara Castle or maybe the Hindenburg. Of course, disasters are what you make of them. Slobbering Ozzie overpressurized his kindalini (in late medieval Hindu metaphysics, that’s an ectoplasmic trouser snake) and blew all the petals off Chakra Sahasrara last night after the game. He cursed out the local spawrts meedia for persecuting Heath Bell, while managing – in the finest tradition of Spenserian allegory, assuming you’ve studied Spenser in Espanglish – to curse out his own team for their excremental fielding and fecal middle relief work. It was sewerpipe diction Ozzie at his most piquant, and may have set a new record for longest expressions of oral anality enunciated without inhaling. Shortly thereafter, the Feesh released the following public relations bulletin:

    Moms! Be sure to bring your kids to family day at Macondo Banana Massacre Field next week! Slobbering Ozzie will entertain them in his Shakes the Clown suit complete with silk polka dot blouse and big red rubber nose!

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2012 at 7:17 AM


      Edit function!
      Edit function!

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2012 at 7:23 AM

        Re Dodgers 3, Reds 1 – it’s always great to see that scummy thug Cueto lose a game, especially in an embarrassing fashion. Good on Da Bums for making Tony LaRussa look right for leaving the little criminal off the Allstar team.

      • stex52 - Jul 4, 2012 at 5:12 PM

        What has happened to our educational system? Are we really reduced to explaining Kundalini to these young folks?

        What, are they off studying science and engineering or something? Not.

  2. number42is1 - Jul 4, 2012 at 8:39 AM

    Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

    • okobojicat - Jul 4, 2012 at 8:48 AM

      I even get goosebumps reading that speech.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:14 AM

        Does this mean we have to reopen the Strait of Hormuz again?

  3. kevinbnyc - Jul 4, 2012 at 8:42 AM

    I was alive in 1992, and recall the Pirates season being ended by another aging Brave in need of a leg transplant.

    • proudlycanadian - Jul 4, 2012 at 8:56 AM

      I remember the 1992 baseball season quite well. The Jays put an end to the Braves season.

      • kevinbnyc - Jul 4, 2012 at 9:39 AM

        I was hoping you’d still be hungover from Canada day.

      • proudlycanadian - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:24 AM

        I had a very relaxed Canada Day. Only drank one glass of wine. I wish you a fun filled July 4th.

      • proudlycanadian - Jul 4, 2012 at 2:07 PM

        Was that thumbs down on my comment about 1992 from Craig?

      • cur68 - Jul 4, 2012 at 2:15 PM

        Might have been Larry.

  4. hcf95688 - Jul 4, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    The Swingin’ A’s!

    • APBA Guy - Jul 4, 2012 at 12:18 PM

      Painful night for a power surge to blow out my satellite, which took 90 minutes to clear. By then the A’s had come form 2-1 down to win 3-2. I missed all the fun. Aargh.

  5. chill1184 - Jul 4, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    How much are willing to bet that Lincecum is playing hurt? It’s sad to see a pitcher who as good as we was, just drop like a rock like that.

    • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:13 AM

      That was a very moving observation, Dontrelle.

  6. mungman69 - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:53 AM

    The straits are open.

  7. cur68 - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    Larry is magic.

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