Skip to content

Why do doctors hate America?

Jul 4, 2012, 10:35 AM EDT

It’s the Fourth of July. We should be honoring nitrites and random bits of offal and our freedom to consume the same, not denigrating them. Especially at baseball games.  But once again the doctors are being total killjoys:


The explanation:

A provocative billboard will warn baseball fans flocking to the All-Star Game at Kauffman Stadium on July 10 that eating hot dogs can greatly increase their risk of colorectal cancer. The billboard, sponsored by the nonprofit Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, reads “Warning: Hot Dogs Can Strike You Out—For Good,” and directs readers to

The billboard features an image of hot dogs jammed into a cigarette pack labeled “Unlucky Strikes,” and is located at the exit ramp to Kauffman Stadium on I-435 one mile south of I-70. PCRM has also written a letter to Jim Rowland, executive director of the Jackson County Sport Complex Authority which owns and operates Kauffman Stadium, asking him to require warning labels on all hot dogs served at Kauffman Stadium. The label would read: “Warning: Hot Dogs and Other Processed Meats Increase the Risk of Colon and Rectal Cancer.”

Dudes, if they outlaw hot dogs and processed meats, only outlaws will have hot dogs and processed meats. Well, that and the increased risk of colon and rectal cancer. But the point stands.

  1. sictransitchris - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:38 AM

    What doesn’t give you cancer these days?

    • theawesomersfranchise - Jul 4, 2012 at 12:08 PM

      Well technically speaking (and misleading) Oxygen can cause and spread cancer, warp DNA so it seems like a losing battle.

  2. shanabartels - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    I think it’s great to encourage healthier decisions. But I’m probably the only vegetarian health nut around here.

    • samu0034 - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:53 AM

      Fair enough, I too can get behind encouraging people to eat healthier. Hell, I could use the encouragement myself. But being a vegetarian isn’t the only way to eat a healthy and balanced diet, and eating a hot dog once in a while isn’t going to do anyone any appreciable harm. No more so than any other everyday activity anyway.

      • paperlions - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:24 AM

        In addition, being a vegetarian is not the most healthy way to eat, it is just better than the approach most people take.

    • bigharold - Jul 4, 2012 at 1:56 PM

      “But I’m probably the only vegetarian health nut around here.”

      Vegetarian and health nut is redundant, … with the emphasis on nut.

      Besides, .. my like didn’t claw their way to the top of the food chain to not scarf up the occasional hot dog.

      Happy Forth!

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2012 at 1:58 PM

        Your like didn’t roast its meat, forming carcinogenic benzenes out of the fat, until fairly recently in evolutionary terms. Our bad habits go all the way back to scaring mammoths off a cliff. Tough to break with that, you know?

  3. xsherr - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    That’s why I eat Hebrew nationals. They answer to a higher authority.

    • - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:48 AM

      unless they don’t

  4. cur68 - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:46 AM

    Why don’t more people eat seal blubber? Its way better for you and you get all that healthy excercise harvesting it.

    • raysfan1 - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:39 AM

      Down here there just aren’t many seals, so we make do with pork rinds.

      • Old Gator - Jul 4, 2012 at 1:59 PM

        You’re going all soft and sentimental on the manatees, aren’t you?

      • cur68 - Jul 4, 2012 at 2:14 PM

        Was watching the Dugong pitch last night against the BoSox. Some observations re. Bartolo “The Dugong” Colon:
        1) Orange is not his colour
        2)He’s in great shape…for a Dugong.
        3)Inexplicable that the Yankees KEPT Freddy and not The Dugong.
        4)He needs a haircut
        5)Every time I look at one of these critters:

        it makes me happy they are still around (and yeah, I am referring to Bartolo).
        6) The Dugong still throws pretty hard. He’s a major reason the A’s won last night.

      • The Rabbit - Jul 4, 2012 at 6:34 PM

        One correction, cur: Yellow is not his color…although orange wouldn’t be either.

      • raysfan1 - Jul 4, 2012 at 9:21 PM

        “Manatee” is too close to “manitou”–messing with them is bad medicine.

  5. jonirocit - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    Wait …. So I can’t jam 50 hotdogs down my pie hole a day …ohh so I can’t have even one at a ball game? But you shitty ass doctors can get away with charging $75 for an aspirin. Medicine in this country is wack why not save the money you tools wasted on that billboard and help a person in need with their medical bills?

  6. chill1184 - Jul 4, 2012 at 10:50 AM

    Well a doctor’s job IS to promote good health

    • paperlions - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:26 AM

      Yeah, wouldn’t it be great if the concentrated on that instead of prescriptionpalooza. As far as I can tell, most in the health care “industry” (because that is how they treat it) address symptoms with little interest in discovering or treating the root causes of the symptoms.

      • chill1184 - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:28 AM

        I don’t disagree, a I remember back in college one of my teachers said that doctors are the biggest drug pushers in the country. However I would argue that it has more to do with Big Pharm than the doctors themselves which is another topic entirely.

      • paperlions - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:35 AM

        Oh, that’s a big part of it….but bigger factor is the incorporation of health care, most doctors no longer work for themselves or in small groups, they are hired by companies that expect (and force) them to see a certain number of patients/day….get ’em in, get ’em out.

        My dogs get better care than I do, more personal (dogonal?), more thorough, and far far cheaper.

      • js20011041 - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:42 AM

        The money’s in the treatment, not the cure.

      • theawesomersfranchise - Jul 4, 2012 at 12:13 PM

        In Canada, the government pays Doctors salaries, kinda removes the whole conflict of interest thing. Of course a more well to do person might prefer his own privately paid doctor which isn’t an option.

  7. ptfu - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    Bury that bad boy in mustard, relish, pickles, tomatoes, onions, and peppers until the antioxidants and vitamins outweigh the nitrates. Pile it all on a poppy seed bun, with celery salt on top.

    Also, why isn’t that billboard on Coney Island? I hear that place hosts a hot dog eating competition every July 4th. Where have you gone, Kobayashi…

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:11 AM

      Busy getting his ass kicked by Joey Chestnuts

  8. Gordon - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    There’s a billboard on I-290 in Chicago that goes even further. It reads “Hot Dogs Cause Butt Cancer”.

  9. snowbirdgothic - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    I anxiously await Rick Reilly’s column on how hot dogs are another reason attending a baseball game is a terrible thing to do.

  10. badmamainphilliesjamas - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    More deaths are caused by auto accidents than by processed meats–especially when drivers are distracted figuring out why a pack of cigarettes is stuffed with hot dogs.

    Happy 4th everyone!

  11. jjschiller - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:19 AM

    It’s just a sign, people. It’s just a public service message. And sure, you already KNOW that hotdogs are bad for you. But did you know that processed meats actually increase your risk for colon cancer? That it isn’t just an issue of cholesterol and saturated fats, not something you can just diet away later; rather that the very consumption can cause a specific ailment? You probably didn’t already know that.

    But its just so fun to bitch and moan about our rights, especially when it means poo-pooing someone else’s rights to free speech.

    It’s just a sign…

  12. raysfan1 - Jul 4, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    PCRM is the medical world’s version of PETA. Its founder even writes a column for PETA’s. So it should come as no surprise when they take extreme viewpoints and use similar tactics. They have also referred to cheese as “dairy crack.”

    • spidur - Jul 4, 2012 at 12:39 PM

      Dairy crack is actually a pretty good description for cheese. Not going to make me stop eating it, though.

      As for hot dogs, the first thing that popped into my head was “Hot Dog Song”, by the Arrogant Worms on their album “Toast” (listen on their website here). Ironically, that album also has the song “I Pulled My Groin”, brought to mind by the B-Rob post…

  13. yahmule - Jul 4, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    It pisses me off that someone dares try to give us sound advice, and on the 4th of July, no less. Who cares if the FDA has been completely neutered, over 35% of American adults are considered obese and the rate of type 2 diabetes has exploded. It beats living in a Nanny State!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • samu0034 - Jul 4, 2012 at 1:11 PM

      Actually, yeah, it kinda does.

      • yahmule - Jul 4, 2012 at 1:29 PM

        Hell, yes it does. The fact that teenagers are now being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes is also awesome, especially since the drugs used to control that disease are ineffective in people that age. They may begin suffering heart attacks and strokes in their 20s and 30s, but they will do so in a free country. Not some goddamn, islamo-fascist, 16 oz soft drink limiting hellhole.

  14. Detroit Michael - Jul 4, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    Hot dogs don’t kill. People with hot dogs kill.

  15. scatterbrian - Jul 4, 2012 at 1:29 PM

    “Dudes, if they outlaw hot dogs and processed meats, only outlaws will have hot dogs and processed meats.”

    – Jello Calcaterra

  16. offseasonblues - Jul 4, 2012 at 2:31 PM

    Today we celebrate freedom and one of those freedoms is choosing to eat what’s bad for us. Fine. When I go to a game, I eat a hot dog, but if you look hard in the grocery store you can find hot dogs that don’t contain nitrites. I value that choice too and as pointed out above, that sign is an expression of free speech – one of things being celebrated today.

  17. charlutes - Jul 4, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    America is awesome, but parts of America is awful. I’m looking at you small, southern cities. Food is unbearable down there. Cali, San Fran, NY, chi town: awesome.

  18. thatyankeedude - Jul 4, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    If I died eating a hot dog I think I would be ok with that

  19. brianbosworthisstonecold - Jul 4, 2012 at 8:40 PM

    A doctors job nowadays is to promote the pharmaceutical companies.

    • raysfan1 - Jul 4, 2012 at 9:32 PM

      If you were to come to my clinic, you would find zero pharmaceutical ads (not counting ones that might show up on the TV in theing room). If I prescribed you something, it would most likely be a generic. The vast majority of the other physicians I know are the same way. But, hey think what you like.

  20. brianbosworthisstonecold - Jul 4, 2012 at 8:45 PM

    Is there an organization that stands up for vegetable’s rights? Veggies are living organisms yet some people don’t give a damn about their well-being!

  21. greenxlvgold - Jul 4, 2012 at 9:30 PM

    I all of a sudden have a craving for a hot dog

  22. cintiphil - Jul 5, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    “Everything in moderation”. the ancient Greeks had it right. The doctors today should study them more. The joke is the hot dog eating contest held around the country and esp. in NYC. It is clearly stupid.

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. G. Stanton (2531)
  2. C. Correa (2523)
  3. Y. Puig (2522)
  4. B. Crawford (2409)
  5. H. Pence (2288)
  1. G. Springer (2232)
  2. H. Ramirez (2177)
  3. M. Teixeira (2154)
  4. J. Hamilton (2134)
  5. J. Baez (2105)