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The Anti-All Stars

Jul 6, 2012, 2:00 PM EDT

Seattle Mariners v Chicago Cubs Getty Images

Every year Scott Miller of CBS puts out his version of the Razzies to Major League Baseball’s Oscars. It’s his Anti-All Stars team, collecting the worst and dimmest the league had to offer at each position. His new one is out now.

Mariners fans and Yankees-haters will take note that despite all the early season crowing about Michael Pineda‘s injury and the M’s winning the trade, Jesus Montero is the team’s starting DH:

Montero is one of only 10 DHs with more than 130 at-bats and, as a DH, he’s hitting .192 with two homers and 13 RBI. Throw in his ABs while catching, and this stat is more difficult to choke down than a mouthful of cauliflower: Montero collected exactly one (1) RBI in the entire month of June, in 23 games.

But at times like these I do remember something my old boss at the law firm used to say: anyone can lose a small case. It takes a great lawyer to lose a huge one.  You laugh, but the core of truth to that little quip is that you have to be pretty good to begin with to be put in a position to fail so spectacularly. That applies to face-planting major leaguers too.

  1. mattyflex - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    I would’ve liked to had seen Jonathan Sanchez on this list. It would help justify how much I want to punch his face off.

    • geoknows - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:41 PM

      It’s a shocking upset that he’s not. Apparently he even sucks at being bad.

      • mattyflex - Jul 6, 2012 at 3:11 PM

        He’s pitched 46 innings in 10 games started with a 6.80 ERA, 1.99 WHIP, and 40 walks to 32 strikeouts. I’m fairly certain if he wasn’t projected to be the number one starter at the beginning of the season, his ass would be in Omaha.

        I don’t know if any of you have seen him pitch this year, but he acts like he doesn’t even want to be out there.

        Jonathan Sanchez, your numbers are really bad, and you should feel bad.

  2. danaking - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:06 PM

    Lee has won since his list was posted, but it’s still pretty harsh to say a guy with a 3.98 ERA is one of the four worst disappointing pitchers in baseball. Those aren’t expected Cliff Lee numbers, but still.

    • pipkin42 - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:09 PM

      I agree. Slavish devotion to the pitcher win still survives.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:10 PM

      Lee certainly isn’t one of the worst pitchers in baseball, but he has been disappointing. Some of it is his fault, and some of it hasn’t been. Expectations were that he would be a top 5 pitcher. I only had Halladay and Verlander ahead of him, though Kershaw and Felix may have had cases.

      By those standards, he has been disappointing.

    • sneschalmers - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:12 PM

      Not to mention his 98:20 K:BB ratio.

      Lee’s lack of wins stem more from injuries to the Phillies line up and an overall inconsistency of their offense than his pitching.

    • The Rabbit - Jul 6, 2012 at 3:39 PM

      And slavish devotion to ERA without due regard to the uncanny ability of a bullpen for the knack of allowing inherited runners score from first even with an out or two (Yes, current Yankee Chad Qualls, I mean you) is another way to misinterpret a starter’s quality.

  3. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:07 PM

    What is it about Seattle that kills even the best hitters? So many hitters have been good on the way in, terrible in Seattle, then good on the way out again (Beltre and Ibanez come to mind immediately, but I’m sure I could think of more). The best hitter they have had for years is a guy who makes his living on infield singles.

    • vallewho - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:16 PM

      What about Edgar Martinez?…I think ownership/GM/manager has a lot to do with the issues in Seattle.

    • Ari Collins - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:19 PM

      It’s the park. That simple.

      (And to the guy below: Edgar played in a different park.)

  4. Old Gator - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    I never thought I’d be the one to defend Slobbering Ozzie but, let’s face it, he’s dancin’ with the one what brung him. Ozzie: I’d like to sit Heath Bell and make Steve Cishek our closer. Scrooge McLoria: you ain’t sitting no $27 million pitcher, Oz. Ozzie: I’d like to sit Gaby Sanchez and play Greg Dobbs at first. Scrooge McLoria: you ain’t sitting no hometown hero, Oz. Ozzie: let’s DFA John Buck and split catching duties between Brett Hayes and some kid from the minors, or someone we might trade Tweeter for. Scrooge McLoria: I ain’t eating no $12 million left on Buck’s contract, and I ain’t gonna trade Tweeter after we turned down every GM in the league over him last orfseason.

    Now if these guys were actually producing what they were paid to produce and the Feesh still sucked, I’d say yeah, flush Slobbering Ozzie. He’s a sewer-mouthed clown anyway. But really, this team has let him down something fierce. Call me sentimental, but I campaign against mass-euthanizing strays and I wouldn’t even want to see my ex-wife treated like that.

  5. madnova - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:23 PM

    I didn’t realize Weeks had stopped taking walks…Seems like he does at least once every game I’ve watched….And having an on base percentage of .312 while only batting .193…well, I’m not all studied up on sabermetrics or anything, but wouldn’t that indicate that he’s either walking or getting plunked a ton?

    • madnova - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:29 PM

      I should be clear, I’m not saying that Rickie doesn’t deserve this “honor”, because he clearly does, just that I’m not understanding the reasons given.

    • beanster71 - Jul 6, 2012 at 3:56 PM

      You are correct. Weeks has already walked 45 times this year and been hit 5 times. He has a 13.4% BB% which would be the second highest of his career and significantly above his career 11% rate. He’s maintained a 13% rate since April so it’s just sloppy writing to say he’s stopped taking walks. Also, his BABIP is a career-worst .269 so his average should recover, in fact it’s up 35 pts since the end of May.

  6. number42is1 - Jul 6, 2012 at 2:32 PM

    so the first half is just about over… where are all the folks that were humming and hawing the first month when Pineda was done for the season about how the M’s totally screwed the Yanks. Unless he has a monster 2nd half this deal is going to take min of 3 years before a winner can be declared.

    • chadjones27 - Jul 6, 2012 at 3:18 PM

      I think it’s hard to declare a winner or loser too. But, at the moment, if you assume Pineda would be hurt regardless of what team he is on, and Montero was producing last year, I’d say the Yankees have lost a little more on this scale. Not only did they give up someone who produced some runs for them but they never got a quality starter in return.

    • surefooted1 - Jul 6, 2012 at 3:25 PM

      Most rational people would say that it would take around 3 years to know the winner of this trade…

  7. drewzducks - Jul 6, 2012 at 3:16 PM

    As a Sox fan I nominate their 150M singles hitting 1B and Jon “don’t believe the hype” Lester.

  8. mania - Jul 6, 2012 at 4:37 PM

    How in the world did Michael Young not make this list? He’s hit worse than Montero, and while Montero is a rookie, playing in a park that kills RH power hitting for a bad team, Young is a middle of the lineup hitter for the best team in the game.

  9. contraryguy - Jul 6, 2012 at 8:26 PM

    Tack Ervin Santana onto the pitching list. 4-9, 20 HR given up already. He was a 3rd guy in the rotation a year or two ago, wasn’t he?

  10. gloccamorra - Jul 7, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    Well, Orlando Hudson made the list, stinking it up for two teams, but it was lucky of Jason Bartlett to get on the DL early enough that nobody remembers his .133/.240/.193 slash line. It was only 83 ABs though, and he’s got severe problems with both knees (60-day DL), so I guess it’s fair he escaped scrutiny.

  11. denny65 - Jul 7, 2012 at 5:02 PM

    “But with the bat, [Ryan’s] the overwhelmed guy behind the counter at Subway as the lunch line grows ever longer.”

    Ha! That’s the *perfect* description of sub-Mendoza Line Brendan Ryan! Miller nailed it. Many of us Mariner fans–yes, there are a few, honest–have volunteered to help pack and move Ryan to Tacoma.

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