Another thing: the stats on the back of their cards show totals but aren’t great for trends. Tweeter and Coghlan had flash-in-the-pan moments that look good in a column but had been declining for at least a full season each and the Hanster had been sliding for two.

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The Feesh made it clear last orfseason when they didn’t even offer Anibal Sanchez an extension that he would be gone before the season was out unless he really mowed the lawn, but that didn’t happen, so today’s trade is no surprise. With Donovan Solano in the wings, the Feesh notochord trust figured Infante was expendable even though he’s been one of the more solid players so far. So, no surprise there either.

Now of course the question is, having thrown in the dishrag anyway, what are the Feesh going to do with Black Hole Buck and Bombs Away Bell? Who’s going to take on either one of these guys with the way they’ve been performing and with those huge contracts? Bell’s owed about nine million dollars for the season and a half remaining on a contract that was an absurdity the day it was signed; no one is going to take more than the league minimum’s worth of that off the Rainbow Warriors’ hands when the guy sports a crash line that looks like a monthly casualty report from the Vietnam War; those aren’t really his stats, those are the numbers of dead, wounded and missing. To unload either or both, Scrooge McLoria is going to have to eat most of those deals. I’m sure he finds that about as appetizing as that odd, barbell-shaped chewy thing in the middle of his Bubbie’s fricassee when he was a kid.

That leaves the problem of the Hanster. Mr. Puss Knuckle has been a bust and a half for two seasons now, starting his nosedive slowly with receipt of Scrooge McLoria’s accursed .342 talisman of which he has been trying to rid himself since he saw Frodo pitch the ring of power into the volcano. The Hanster too is sporting a whopping contract extension and a set of stats desperately in need of a big blue pill and a glass of water. No doubt someone will think he’s worthy of a reclamation project but that someone, with Omar Minaya no longer in a position to do anything that stupid, will drive an unpalatable bargain. If they take his contract over, they probably won’t send back anything above Single-A or walking without prosthetics.

So far I haven’t seen any information on who’s going to be brought up to take the places of Anibal and Omar, but one figures we’ll see Gabby and maybe Peterson or even Coghlan back as field ballast until while this already forgettable season aches to grow more distant in the side view mirror than that eye in the Far Side cartoon. Unless they find a nice home for Tweeter – preferably, with a hip young couple with room for several in their hot tub, and no praying mantises in their yard – at least Peterson will have some kinky company without needing to pay for the overpriced mojitos at the Clevelander.

So really, the Feesh need to be taking the long view of things, and should look to beef up with one or two midgrade hitters, preferably moneyball types with some situational moxie, on the free agent market this weenter. It’s an ugly prognosis for the next two seasons at least.