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UPDATE: Wally the Green Monster has been found

Jul 27, 2012, 3:55 PM EDT

UPDATE: Our 45-minute national nightmare is over:

 

3:20 PM: What in the name of Bruno Hauptmann …

Hopefully it’s just the costume and not the sweaty, underpaid college kid inside of it too.

Either way, thoughts, prayers, etc.

  1. brewcrewfan54 - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:23 PM

    Publicity stunt.

    • CJ - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:31 PM

      Like the Red Sox need more publicity. On another note, I hope it’s returned (and there’s no one currently inhabiting the mascot when this took place). But the jokes really do write themselves.

      This team is so beat up, even the mascot is on the DL.

      This team is so bad, the mascot has faked his own kidnapping and gone into hiding.

      Is there any truth to the rumor that Wally will be attending tonight’s game as a guy named Phil Shifley?

      Boston PD called off the ABP when they found Wally in the locker room, apparently passed out while playing MLB 2K12, with an empty bucket of KFC and a 6 pack nearby.

      • chadjones27 - Jul 27, 2012 at 4:22 PM

        The Phil Shifley reference is hilarious!

    • southofheaven81 - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:40 PM

      If it is a stunt I bet Wilson Ramos & Cal Ripken think it’s HILARIOUS.

  2. Rich Stowe - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    the thieves are suspected of also stealing the Red Sox hitting and pitching back in March…

  3. b7p19 - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    Nobody ever thinks something like this will happen to them…

  4. DJ MC - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    Witnesses reported seeing two large birds in masks leading Mr. Monster out of the ballpark, while a creature described as a “gigantic green anteater” waited in a getaway car. The birds’ faces were not seen, but one was colored black and orange while the other was a bright, almost cardinal, red.

  5. Rich Stowe - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    the police just received a message stating “if the Red Sox fire Bobby Valentine and bring Youk, Wally will be returned unharmed”

    • bigharold - Jul 27, 2012 at 9:03 PM

      Was it post marked from IL or was it signed Theo??

  6. mirmz - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:30 PM

    They’re going to find it on that sweaty, underpaid and drunk college kid come Halloween.

  7. Rich Stowe - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:30 PM

    the Phoenix Gorilla and San Diego Chicken and Philly Fanatic have been placed into police custody for their own protection

  8. 18thstreet - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:33 PM

    I think Wally himself left. He knows he’s going to need work in October. Better start pounding the pavement now.

    Sigh.

  9. hansob - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:34 PM

    kidnapped?…. PFFFFT….. That’s just Wally being Wally.

  10. andrewproughcfe - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    He wasn’t kidnapped. Bobby Valentine had him traded to the White Sox due to a lack of energy and focus.

  11. Rich Stowe - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:39 PM

    Without Wally, the Red Sox don’t know how else to attract fans to the stadium because they sure won’t be coming to see the players

  12. number42is1 - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:41 PM

    He wasn’t kidnapped. He’s in the Bronx getting ready to bat cleanup tonight for the Sox… Can’t be any worse than what they got now, right?

  13. bloodysock - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    Theo stole it and is planning his escape from Wrigley.

  14. shimmy21 - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    Where to slot all the future Hall of Famers = Yankee Problems

    Trying to keep your players sober enough to play and putting out an ABP on your mascot = Red Sox Problems

    • Rich Stowe - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:49 PM

      excellent!

  15. xmatt0926x - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    I hate to fuel speculation in this gossipy media age that we live in, but has anyone questioned Hank Steinbrenner?

  16. Rich Stowe - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    apparently the story has been updated – someone was seen running down the street in the costume…

    • number42is1 - Jul 27, 2012 at 3:57 PM

      That was just Big Papi… you wouldnt like him when he’s angry

  17. 18thstreet - Jul 27, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    Dammit. Now I have to pay attention to the players again.

    Someone distract me.

  18. ianrbarbo - Jul 27, 2012 at 4:08 PM

    Dammit! I was really hoping this would end in a similar way to The Town or Ted. Either way would have sufficed.

    • yankeesgameday - Jul 27, 2012 at 7:02 PM

      You win best comment. Hilarious. Although it made me sad I had to explain why it was funny to my wife and she still didn’t get it.

      • brewcrewfan54 - Jul 28, 2012 at 1:00 AM

        Wives are generally stupid.

  19. budselog - Jul 27, 2012 at 4:28 PM

    Trade Wally, Josh Beckett, a case of Sam Adams, and a bucket of chicken to Texas for a bag of balls and they MIGHT be in business to win 4th place in the AL East.

  20. Glenn - Jul 27, 2012 at 4:53 PM

    WEEI Boston reports that an employee took the mascot costume without permission. Let’s hope he/she isn’t one of those “furries”.

  21. mgv38 - Jul 27, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    Why would anyone want to kidnap Pedro Gonmez?

  22. bigleagues - Jul 27, 2012 at 5:02 PM

    This story began as a heartwarming tale of loss, and quickly turned cold and reprehensible.

    Kidnapping Wally in an effort to eradicate his scourge! I LOVE IT! Only wish I had thought of it first! At least I woulda made sure he was swimming at the bottom of the Chahlz Rivah.

    Seriously, you shouldn’t steal mascots . . . but to fantasize of a world without mascots . . . it really is a wonderful imaginary world in which to dwell!

  23. jjschiller - Jul 27, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    Too bad this didn’t go on longer, so the NY Post could run “AWOL-LY!” as a headline..

  24. giantssb42champs - Jul 28, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    That’s the best comment so far.

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