Comments on: Logan Morrison placed on disabled list, may need surgery

By: onbucky96

onbucky96 — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 00:53:26 +0000

Logan, Got Milk? Enjoy the time off…TOOL.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 23:21:22 +0000

PS – been down in the sewers lately?

Nyuknyuknyuk….

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 23:19:56 +0000

Definitely true. There’s been a tacit exception granted to airboat tour guides, though, and the Miccosukkee and Seminole tribes’ airboat guides also ignore the ban on their reservation properties. The premise is that those gators are way out in the ‘glades and, since gators tend to be territorial, the likelihood of one making its way into civilized company is usually pretty remote – except, of course, during extreme situations like droughts, where they need to travel to find deeper pockets of water.
Chances are that if not for the news coverage of this nitwit getting maimed, they would have looked the other way in his case too.

For the most part, the guides throw the gators marshamallows. The big guys can’t resist them, but once they snap them up they also almost can’t relate to them as food since their mass is so slight. When I was a kid, I used to catch myself a baby gator every fall, which is about when they hatch. Since mama guards her young for a few weeks, you always had to be careful that she was hanging around. Best way to get her to go away was to throw some marshmallows out into the current. If she was anywhere nearby she’d take off after the floating marshmallows and I could net one of the little ones, who usually stayed in the weeds near the banks of the canals or mudholes (you also wanted to watch out for cottonmouths curled up in the weeds).

I’d keep the little guy overwinter – they would grow to about two and a half to three feet during that time – and release them the following summer, then catch me another one for the coming winter. Did this for about seven or eight years.

Then I began chasing women. The gators were easy by comparison.

By: randygnyc

randygnyc — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 22:40:34 +0000

Gator- I watched a show on nat-geo last year and a park ranger had arrested a tourist (in Florida), for feeding an alligator lakeside. He was with his family and thought it was harmless. The ranger said that every alligator that is seen being fed by people must be killed because they’ll approach all the people they see in the future. I was pretty shocked. It explains the arrest, though.

By: stex52

stex52 — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 19:31:35 +0000

Thanks for the reminder that East Texas hasn’t cornered the market on imbecility. It’s just so heart-warming to know that people are the same wherever they go.

BTW, doesn’t sound like Tweeter is the difference between a good season and a bad season. But it’s easy to get a bit narcissistic in our misery in the Houston area. Other teams have their disappointments, too.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 17:55:56 +0000

PPS – this has nothing to do with Tweeter’s knees, but it does, obliquely, have to do with limbs, and it is about Macondo and its special brand of idiocy. Ready for this? Last week, an especially witless airboat guide decided to show his tourists how to hand feed a herring to an alligator. The gator reached up a little further than this moron expected and bit his hand off, fish and all. The gator was tracked down and shot (through no fault of its own, of course – I would have shot the air boat guide instead) and the hand was recovered (“Do that later, Brody – we don’t want the kid spilling out all over the dock!”) but it was too badly digested to be re-attached. Well, that’s a surprise, isn’t it?

But here’s the best part: yesterday, the tour boat guide was formally charged with illegally feeding an alligator!!! Don’t believe this shit? Okay – here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/07/29/2919016/fla-man-who-lost-hand-charged.html

Here’s the lesson you’re supposed to take away from all this: airboat tour guides should feed alligators nothing but marshmallows, thrown in the water from the relative safety of their high chair in front of the propeller cage. I’ve known that since I was a kid, for Buddha’s sake. The DA in Macondo County is locked in a tight primary battle this year and she probably didn’t want to appear soft on imbecility.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 17:35:37 +0000

Aha! So that’s why he’s sucked! Maybe with an intact knee, he really is a .248 hitter!

Good luck unloading him now, Larry. And nothing but male nurses for him – we wouldn’t want him tweeting that he keeps getting tits in his face every time they try to change is IV or check his heartbeat.

PS – I’m sure Tweeter would be touched by the outpouring of sympathy for him on this blog….

By: proudlycanadian

proudlycanadian — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 16:37:04 +0000

Does this injury mean that he can now be called “Slow Mo”?

By: kkolchak

kkolchak — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 16:26:05 +0000

What a boob.

By: paperlions

paperlions — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 16:06:59 +0000

If his mother had breast fed him, maybe Morrison wouldn’t be so injury prone.

By: butchhuskey

butchhuskey — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 15:58:56 +0000

*things on

By: butchhuskey

butchhuskey — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 15:58:25 +0000

At least he’ll have plenty of time to post douchey thingson Twitter.