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Battery ad targets Philly fans

Aug 10, 2012, 5:00 PM EDT

I troll Philly fans, but I leave the “youse guys throw batteries at people” thing aside because that crap happens at a lot of places (like almost every Big Ten football game ever).  But the website Woot! (a daily coupon/deals site) goes there:

Gotta love Philly fans!

Great to power your devices, or power your passion for athletics!

For most of us, this is simply a great opportunity to stock up on some rechargeable batteries to power our electronics and other stuff. But for our users in Philadelphia, it’s something so much more.

See, Phillies season is in full swing, and the Eagles will be taking the field soon enough. You know what that means? There are a lot of opposing teams coming through town, so it’s time to stock up on some stuff to heave at them!

You will find very few people who enjoy poking Philly fans more than I do, but even I have to draw a line there. Just way too obvious and the length of the ad — it goes on for several more paragraphs — beats an already weak horse dead.

Home medical devices for Ryan Howard. Money belts for Ruben Amaro. Anti-nausea medication for fans sitting behind little girls in the stands. All of these have way more potential for comedy here.  This? I only give it three of ten troll points.


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  1. randygnyc - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:20 PM

    It’s been more than 20 years since my team was out of the race in the beginning of August. Maybe there are some phillies fans here who would like to remind me of how that feels. 18.5 back is quite the accomplishment.

    • fearlessleader - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:26 PM

      Anyone mind if I throw a battery at randygnyc?

      • chill1184 - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:26 PM


      • El Bravo - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:45 PM


      • The Rabbit - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:09 PM

        I’ll buy the batteries

      • kkolchak - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:22 PM

        Not even a Phillie phan, and I support that plan.

      • Jeremy T - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:25 PM

        I’m a Yankee fan, and I still support that plan.

      • jon623 - Aug 12, 2012 at 6:05 PM

        I’m just a fan of that plan, period. Team preferences aside.

    • marinersnate - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:54 PM

      “It’s been more than 20 years since my team was out of the race in the beginning of August.”

      Hasn’t it also been nearly 20 years since the Yankees’ did not have the highest payroll in MLB? Ok, now correlate. Wasn’t that easy….

    • Jeremy T - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:24 PM

      Oh look exhibit A of why people don’t like Yankee fans. Come on man, this article has nothing to do with the Yankees. I’m thrilled that the team we both root for is consistently excellent but is it really too much to ask to show just a tiny little bit of class?

      • kkolchak - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:44 PM

        In Randy’s case, yes. You, however, don’t seem so bad. For a Yankees fan. :;

    • protius - Aug 11, 2012 at 4:23 AM


      I’ve been an admirer of Philly fans since I began researching primates in 2009, and I gotta tell ya that I’m uplifted by the fact that many of them can now walk up-right, and that the remaining knuckle-walkers are making significant progress.

      In addition, someone has taught them to wash their hands after they have finished throwing their ca ca at their caretakers in Crack-Bell Stadium, and it is now safe for them to eat their hot-dogs without latex gloves.

      I’m sure that in a few hundred thousand years, they all will evolve useful human characteristics, and it will be safe to let them into other NL ballparks.

      • philsfansince80 - Aug 13, 2012 at 5:53 PM

        Well gee golly…we’ve been that far behind and you guys still can’t fill stadiums as well as we do. Is it A) Your fans aren’t as good. B) Your marketing team isn’t as good C) Your team isn’t as good, or D) When it comes to “knuckle-walkers”, the rest of you still have progress to make?

        By the way, you should really make it a point to at least watch the games,even if you aren’t going to show up. Cause you would have seen that any time the Phillies play your team, our fans are always spread throughout your park. I don’t even have to know who your team is to make that comment, because it’s at every game. We are the best travelling fans in the country. So much for us being let into other parks. We even got AL covered.

        Now I know that you were just being sarcastic…but when you are going to be sarcastic, perhaps you should make sure you fan base can back it up, which they can’t.

      • protius - Aug 14, 2012 at 3:19 AM

        Well bust my breeches Mr. Greenjeans, in case you missed it, the days of the Philly’s filling stadiums is officially over, and according to some Philadelphia based journalists, the numbers that were recorded during the run were inflated. Well if that don’t beat all?

        How well the fans support my team, or how well my teams’ marketing schemes work, is irrelevant since the battery article was neither the product of the Philly’s marketing division, nor the subject of Randy’s comments.

        BTW, I don’t need to watch Philly’s games on a regular basis to understand that the majority of the fans there are little more socially advanced than the other primates I’ve studied.

        Sorry, when the Phillies play my team, their fans are kept in cages, in a roped off area where our fans can observe them from a safe distance. However, I must agree that Philly fan are the best traveled in the country, in the same way that Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey are well traveled.

        And of course I am being sarcastic, and I have no doubt that the fan base of my team can back that up. Whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.

  2. phillyphan93 - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:30 PM

    I second that, go figure a Yankees fan crowing, would have never guessed.

  3. dkphilly1122 - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:40 PM

    Haters. Randy, go slit your throat. You’re a Yankee’s fan. Sorry Our team does have a LIMIT and won’t go over the luxury tax, unlike the money manufacturing Yankees. The Phillies will be right back in the mix next year. One bad year out of 6 I’m OK with, plus all the injuries this year, but injuries are part of the game, so i’ll take a bad year either way.

    • El Bravo - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:47 PM

      Wow, you sound like a whiny little whiner. Telling someone to go slit their throat too…now that is the class that I’m looking for from Philly nation. Keep up the good work. WAH WAH WAH.

      In other words: GO BRAVES SUCKAS!!!!!

      • El Bravo - Aug 10, 2012 at 5:48 PM

        I expect a troll points grade.

    • number42is1 - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:17 PM

      too bad the phillies have THREE pitchers that make over 22mil a year each… and they are still 18 back.

      the difference betwen the Yanks and the Phils is 22 million (or one Cliff Lee) keep boasting about how low your payroll is. maybe some facts before you spew?

      • etchedchaos - Aug 10, 2012 at 10:22 PM

        Uh no, Doc makes 20 per, so you’re wrong there. So maybe you should check your facts before you spew.

    • Jeremy T - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:22 PM

      There are teams whose fans I will listen to when they make this argument. The Phillies are not one of those teams.

      • philsfansince80 - Aug 13, 2012 at 5:54 PM

        Really? I guarantee I can find at least 5 incidents that are worse for your team’s fanbase.

    • rarson - Aug 10, 2012 at 10:05 PM

      Philly fans, Yankee fans, they all suck.

    • dirtyharry1971 - Aug 11, 2012 at 12:41 PM

      phillies aint going anywhere anytime soon, not with that bloated payroll or aging roster. It’s gonna be another 28 years before you get to a WS so get used to it junior

  4. sausage9724 - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:51 PM

    This has little to nothing to do with sports

    • Craig Calcaterra - Aug 10, 2012 at 6:52 PM

      Ah, you must be new here.

      • Gardenhire's Cat - Aug 10, 2012 at 9:26 PM

        You made me chuckle Mr. Craig

      • professormaddog31 - Aug 11, 2012 at 1:02 AM

      • professormaddog31 - Aug 11, 2012 at 1:03 AM

        oh crap, my comment didn’t post correctly. *hangs head in shame*

  5. randygnyc - Aug 10, 2012 at 7:05 PM

    Judging by the responses here, that feeling is bitterness. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

    • fearlessleader - Aug 10, 2012 at 7:19 PM

      Yeah, that must be it, since my team hasn’t won a World Series since…..eight months ago.

  6. natslady - Aug 10, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    Never mind the batteries. Craig, please research why the Fills lobbied for Rollins to get an error on 8/2 so that Micheal Morse’s hitting streak is reduced to 7 (from 18)???? Really? Colbert’s ERA? What is the motive? Just to mess with us????

    • cleverbob - Aug 10, 2012 at 7:36 PM


      • natslady - Aug 10, 2012 at 9:17 PM

        The story on how Morse got jobbed.

        Scoring change ends Michael Morse’s 18-game hitting streak

      • natslady - Aug 10, 2012 at 9:21 PM

        How can you not like Davey Johnson? You can hate Colbert, though. $144 million and he still wants to f### with the Nats? Harper may have forgiven him, but we haven’t!

        The statistical alterations as a result of the changed scoring: Rollins is charged with an error, Phillies left-hander Cole Hamels has an earned run taken away from him and Morse sees his batting average drop to .299 from .303.

        “I told Mo: ‘If I knew that, shoot, I wouldn’t have kept playing you all this time,” manager Davey Johnson joked.

  7. rarson - Aug 10, 2012 at 9:56 PM

    That’s just the style of Woot, Craig. They always have humorous write-ups that have nothing to do with the products.

  8. johnnyb1976 - Aug 11, 2012 at 12:40 AM

    Nobody cares about Micheal Morse.

  9. cur68 - Aug 11, 2012 at 2:05 AM

    Late to the party but I must golf clap for Randy. THAT’S how you troll someone, folks, not this weaksauce battery crap.

  10. dirtyharry1971 - Aug 11, 2012 at 2:47 AM

    nobody cares about the phillies, stop reporting about them please.

    • cur68 - Aug 11, 2012 at 7:34 AM

      24 different people, including you idjit, prove you wrong. Again. Stop sniffing glue.

    • philsfansince80 - Aug 13, 2012 at 6:00 PM

      What planet do you live on? It ain’t Earth. Hmm,

    • philsfansince80 - Aug 13, 2012 at 6:00 PM

      What planet do you live on? It ain’t Earth. Hmm

  11. andyreidisarrogantandfat - Aug 11, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    I just want to know why the eagles hired Craig stadler to coach this year. Go walrus

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