I’ve got to admit, for an utter mediocrity with a fixation on the Mendoza line and a gaping wound for an RISP, this guy has built an in-house cachet that would fill even a Jeff Francoeur with envy. In addition to a congential indisposition to hit when it counts, he suffers from mantodeaphobia, lactophobia and patellar tendonitis. Regardless, the Feesh notochord trust lavishes confidence on him, despite a couple of years in a row of non-production, that Boeing might have in Chuck Yeager as their company poster boy. If ballplayers were modular, he would be more useful parted out.

With that bum knee, it’s hard to imagine that he’d be as sought after on the trade market as he was last orfseason when, for reasons best known only to themselves, the MENSA architects of this season’s baseball answer to Flight 401 clung to Tweeter like pyrite whenever some other GM asked to include him in a trade package. Since Scrooge McLoria already has the Chihuahua as a mouthpiece, what use do they think they’ll get out him next season?