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Ozzie Guillen is getting a little desperate

Aug 15, 2012, 1:02 PM EDT

Ozzie Guillen AP

Not gonna say it’s been a bad year for the Marlins, but …

With injuries and trades decimating Miami’s lineup, manager Ozzie Guillen admitted he has considered some drastic changes to his club.

“I almost activated myself a couple days ago,” Guillen joked. “I can catch it and throw it; I don’t know if I can hit it.”

Dude, at .264/.287/.338 for a career that ended 12 years ago, no, I’m guessing not.

  1. kkolchak - Aug 15, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer scumbag owner.

  2. deadeyedesign23 - Aug 15, 2012 at 1:16 PM

    “Hey, guys.I got some good news for you. This morning at 9: 10 AM…I activated myself.”

  3. willclarkgameface - Aug 15, 2012 at 1:22 PM

    DOWN WITH FLORIDA BASEBALL.

    • Old Gator - Aug 15, 2012 at 1:48 PM

      Down with assholes. That’s “up” you’re looking at when you tilt your head back.

  4. xpensivewinos - Aug 15, 2012 at 1:28 PM

    Just about the only thing we haven’t heard yet are Guillen for Valentine trade rumors.

    That seems just about right based on the seasons the Red Sox and Marlins were supposed to have and what’s actually transpired.

  5. strawhatcook - Aug 15, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    glad my rays are doing good, sucks for the marlins, that stadium is gorgeous.

  6. Old Gator - Aug 15, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    Incredibly, the Feesh scored a pair of runs in the fourth off Doc today, putting themselves out of one of their many current miseries by ending a 30-inning scoreless streak, longest in franchise history.

    As for Slobbering Ozzie’s desperation, what can I tell ya? He’s just the pharmakon for the whole team’s ineptitude this season, but at the same time, he is its most prominent node. In the words of the immortal (though dead) Vonnegut, so it goes.

  7. scratchnsniffnblog - Aug 15, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    Vonnegut also advised telling people to take a flying f#$% at a rolling doughnut. Thankfully, the Fish did that and put up some runs. That doughnut rolled for far too long.

    • deadeyedesign23 - Aug 15, 2012 at 11:59 PM

      Take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooon!

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