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Roger Clemens won’t be a Texas Ranger

Aug 29, 2012, 8:23 AM EDT

Celemens Softball

File this under “things that should go without saying,” but Nolan Ryan said it anyway. Because some radio host asked him if the Rangers would be interested in being part of a Roger Clemens comeback:

“I think obviously things will be dictated by how he recovers and if he feels he can go out there and continue throwing and if he can build up some stamina. I think we just have to stay tuned. I might call him, but I don’t think I’ll be calling him about a job.”

Nolan: Hey, Roger, how are ya?

Roger: Good, sir. Calling me about a job?

Nolan: Heck, no. We’re actually playing serious baseball games, son, not running a circus sideshow.

Roger: …

Nolan: Hey, Roger. Know what’s hilarious?

Roger: What?

Nolan: Despite the fact that you were a better pitcher than me by every conceivable measure, if you asked 1000 people, I bet 800 of them would say I was.  Ain’t that a daisy!

Roger: …

  1. lapsncaps - Aug 29, 2012 at 8:29 AM

    The failure of Oswalt and Dempster were enough? Come on Rangers! Go for the trifecta of failing with old pitchers!

    • Alex K - Aug 29, 2012 at 9:15 AM

      Dempster has had 2 bad starts and 3 ok to good starts. It’s a reach to call him a failure.

  2. ispysomething7 - Aug 29, 2012 at 8:39 AM

    800? Try 1,000

  3. stex52 - Aug 29, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    Well played, Craig.

  4. ajcardsfan - Aug 29, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    Roger Clemens – The Brett Farve of Baseball, anybody know if he’s sent nude pics to anybody yet?

  5. dirtyharry1971 - Aug 29, 2012 at 9:14 AM

    Why would Nolan call him about a job? If he isnt on the roster before sept 1st and there is no way Clemens would be ready or even close to ready by then he cant help them in the postseason which is what Nolan is concerned about not the silly make believe conversation craig is now reduced to reporting about that never happened. Tell me again why does msnbc allow this guy to write sports columns again? yikes

    • manchestermiracle - Aug 29, 2012 at 9:21 AM

      Because he’s funny, especially if you think Clemens is a self-centered douchebag. Which he is.

    • jon623 - Aug 29, 2012 at 11:59 PM

      Whoa there, speaking of roid rage…

      lets tone down the hate, shall we? This isn’t strictly a news website – this is a blog, and a damn fine one at that. The amount of articles and tid bits that they throw out to keep baseball fans informed is impressive, to say the least.

      Craig’s “make believe conversation” was an entertaining bit to this piece that probably made many people chuckle. Also, it wasn’t without merit – Craig includes in there a line that speaks to how the public perception of Clemens speaks louder than his career stats.

      If you’re looking for something a little more hard hitting, fly to Syria and tell me how it turns out for you. Until then, take a xanax and chilllll ouuttttt.

  6. makeham98 - Aug 29, 2012 at 9:26 AM

    Ryan was a hard throwing pitcher into his 40s because he took Advil. It helped speed his recovery time. LOL

  7. beefytrout - Aug 29, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    Not sure why we needed a slam on Nolan Ryan, but hey, I guess he had it coming. You know, for that whole “turning the Rangers around” bit.

    • angrycorgi - Aug 29, 2012 at 1:14 PM

      “Nolan: Despite the fact that you were a better pitcher than me by every conceivable measure, if you asked 1000 people, I bet 800 of them would say I was. Ain’t that a daisy!”

      The only problem with this statement is that they were almost identical in most every conceivable measure…Clemens has the narrowest of margins in most (Career ERA = 3.12 vs 3.19 for instance)…but he also lags in other areas…Career SO/9 has Nolan almost 1 K higher (0.9 diff)…Nolan’s only real issue was his walk rate…his opponent BA was lower which ended up compensating so that Clemen’s career WHIP is only 0.07 lower than Nolan’s…but people remember no-hitters too…Nolan has 7…Clemens has zip…zilch…nada…steroids apparently didn’t help that stat…

      So don’t sweat the underhanded shots by Craig…he’s always trying to rile up the Ranger fans…

      • thereisaparty - Aug 29, 2012 at 4:00 PM

        That isn’t true at all. You can’t just ignore run-scoring environments when comparing players of different eras. Nolan Ryan’s career ERA- is 90 (10% better than league average), while Clemens’ is 70. This is a significant difference. The difference in BB% is double (4.2%) that of the difference in K% (2.1%).

        Most importantly, Clemens’ peak dominates Ryan’s. Of the 9 best fWAR seasons between the two, Clemens owns 8 of them.

        Clemens has two 20K games. There have been 3 in the history of the game. That is a more impressive accomplishment in my mind.

        Implying that Ryan is infinitely more likeable than Clemens, but not as excellent of a pitcher, can hardly be considered a slam.

      • beefytrout - Aug 29, 2012 at 5:25 PM

        And yet I pulled it off!!!

      • gt929 - Sep 1, 2012 at 2:53 AM

        Craig trying to rile up Ranger fans is better than the rest of HBT ignoring them, I guess. I had to go back 5 pages (20 articles each) to find a mention of the team with the best record in the AL. Did see a few articles about east coast teams though. Oh well, I’ll check back in another 6 months. Later.

  8. vallewho - Aug 29, 2012 at 10:16 AM


  9. frenchysplatediscipline - Aug 29, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    Would it be out of the ordinary to see him in a RedSox uniform by the end of the season?

    With the way things are in Boston this year, probably not…

  10. tjg25 - Aug 29, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    Um certainly not 1,000. I’m not retarded.

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