She spots him sitting alone at a bar, and seats herself on the adjacent stool. She pretends to ignore him and orders a drink while placing a small box on the counter. The box rattles from something moving around inside. Spencer gets curious and asks what’s in the box. She smiles and says, “oh, that’s Reggie, my pet tarantula.” Spencer’s eyebrows elevate, which at this point in the long lonely evening requires some effort. “You have a tarantula in that box?” She nods. “I gotta see this,” he says. “Sure,” she says. Can I buy you a drink?” “Why not,” says Spencer. So she orders him a drink and he ploughs himself a little further under with it. “Okay,” he says, “let’s see what’s really in the box.” So she opens the lid and he looks inside, and sure enough, it’s a tarantula. “Wow,” he says, “but why do you carry him around like that?” Lohan offers to buy him another drink. He agrees. “Well,” she says, as he knocks this one back, “he’s a very special tarantula. I’ve got him trained to…aw, no, you wouldn’t believe me.” “Well what, Spencer insists. “Well…” says Lohan, “You’d have to come home with me so I can show you. I can’t do it here. Another drink?” “Sure,” says Spencer. After irrigating his corpus callosum with yet another shot, he mumbles, “So if I go home with you, you’ll show me what he does?” “Sure,” she says. “Shall I call a cab?” “What the hell,” says Spencer, “I’m up for anything tonight.” So she calls a cab and they go back to her Central Park West penthouse, where she lies down on her bed and removes all of his clothes and says, “watch this,” and then takes the tarantula and [We are sorry but we have lost the picture portion of tonight's program. We are working on the problem. Please stay tuned................................................................................] so she takes the tarantual off of him and puts it on the bed nearby and says, “Okay Reggie, now pay attention. This is the last time I’m gonna show you how to do this…..

Besides, everyone knows the syphilis will kill her before the drugs do.

http://www.wwtdd.com/2012/08/lindsay-banned-from-chateau-marmont-still-terrible-at-lying/

Wow, this would mean she is only 26 years old…..she not only looks tired but like she has more mileage on her than any car I have seen (or driven).

She is a 12 packer at least…..

But all in all, until she decides to move to Indiana and let me take care of her, probably better Lohan lives somewhere with lots of taxi cabs.