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Jose Altuve measures things in Altuves

Sep 4, 2012, 10:00 AM EDT

altuve getty Getty Images

Some time in the past year or so Mike Ferrin and Morgan Ensberg of XM MLB radio created a new unit of measurement: the Altuve. The measurement was formalized courtesy of the handy website, “How Many Altuves.”

Now the Altuve has been coopted by the actual Jose Altuve, as he and Houston Astros teammates were recently at the MLB Fan Cave measuring things in Altuves:

I predict that by 2020, Altuve-based measuring will surpass usage of the metric system in this country. Meaning that as many as a dozen non-scientists will be using it.

  1. willclarkgameface - Sep 4, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    Good morning non-story!

  2. Gamera the Brave - Sep 4, 2012 at 10:30 AM

    gameface,
    You’re missing the significance of this.
    Altuve measures in at .97 Smoots!

  3. The Rabbit - Sep 4, 2012 at 10:38 AM

    Altuves has become an international unit of measurement….along with Ecksteins to measure “grit”.

    • cur68 - Sep 4, 2012 at 10:44 AM

      A + thumb click from me for correct use of The Eckstein.

  4. cur68 - Sep 4, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    Americans and their outdated measurement units :8 . I say go for The Altuve as your unit of measure. It at least makes sense. I bet with no more than 2.5 Ecksteins of effort you could get it adopted at a national level….well mostly national. There will always be some hold-outs who claim that God Wouldn’t Want It. After all they do believe the ounce was created in his image…or something.

  5. mekons5 - Sep 4, 2012 at 10:54 AM

    Stolen from The Friedman Unit, devised by the blogger Atrios. So-named because all through the Iraq war Friedman, who LOVED him some war, would periodically write a column in the Times that invariably included the clause, “in the next six months, we should know…” or “in the next six months, the situation should be clear” or similar gibberish meant to kick any criticism of the war down the road so he could avoid admitting he was dead wrong. Which he has since done by avoiding all mention of both Iraq and the Bush administration and his role as cheerleader.

  6. kiwicricket - Sep 4, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    I could pick which was one Jose, but who the hell were the other guys???? Dam it, the Astros suck….

  7. Ben - Sep 4, 2012 at 12:41 PM

    “The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 Altuves to the hogshead and that’s the way I likes it.”

    • nelsonsaint - Sep 4, 2012 at 2:10 PM

      cromulent!

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