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Throw one perfect game and you own Cincinnati forever

Sep 18, 2012, 10:03 AM EDT

Tom Browning

I once met former Reds pitcher Tom Browning at the Home Depot near my house. I thought it didn’t get any better than that, but little did I know:

Former Cincinnati Reds pitcher Tom Browning will get a chance to perfect his chicken dance moves. The city has tapped Browning as grand marshal of its annual Oktoberfest-Zinzinnati, which means leading a mass chicken dance this Saturday on Fountain Square downtown.

The weekend festival celebrates Cincinnati’s German heritage, and tens of thousands of people usually take part.

Ted Power doesn’t get that treatment. Jack Armstrong isn’t leading the chicken dance. You won’t see Scott Scudder as the Grand Marshall. Only Browning. Tom Browning, babies.

Well, according to the article¬†trumpeter Al Hirt, Weird Al Yankovic and Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil have too, but when it comes to late 80s Reds starters, it’s all Browning.

  1. southofheaven81 - Sep 18, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    Weird Al Yankovic, Vince Neil and Tom Browning walk into a bar…

    • cur68 - Sep 18, 2012 at 10:58 AM

      …in Alabama and orders cosmopolitans. The bartender looks at them and says, “You’re not from ’round here are ya?”

      “No” replies the Vince, speaking for the trio, “We’re from up north.” The bartender nods cautiously, looking a mite taken aback by their appearance. Vince tries to put him at his ease. “Well what do you do in Alabama for fun, Mr. Bartender?”

      “I’m an amateur taxidermist,” says the bartender, edging away. Vince looks bewildered. He checks with Al & Tom. They shake their heads. The Bartender explains, “I mount dead animals.”

      Vince grins hugely, stands back and hollers to the whole bar, “It’s OK, boys! I’m one of you!”

  2. hushbrother - Sep 18, 2012 at 11:49 AM

    Five things Browning is known for:

    1. Won 20 games as a rookie.
    2. Threw a perfect game.
    3. Left the ballpark during Game 2 of the 1990 World Series to be with his wife who was giving birth, but was called back to the park on the air by Tim McCarver because it looked like the game might go into extra innings and he would be needed to pitch.
    4. Once sat on a roof across from Wrigley Field to watch a Reds-Cubs game while he was on the DL.
    5. Career ended when his arm snapped while throwing a pitch.

  3. thomas2727 - Sep 18, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    And to think we were so close to Ron Robinson owning Cincinnati forever. Damn You Wallace Johnson!

  4. AlohaMrHand - Sep 18, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    I remember his perfect game only because it came at the expense of my Dodgers who went in to win the World Series that year.

  5. ezthinking - Sep 18, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    WHAT!!! Where’s “Doctor Johnny Fever, Venus Flytrap, or Less Nessman?”

    • hep3 - Sep 18, 2012 at 5:54 PM

      Les Nessman reporting on the Thanksgiving turkeys being thrown out of a plane for a WKRP promotion:

      “Oh, the humanity.”

      Bailey Quarters or Jennifer Marlowe? I was always in the Bailey camp.

  6. natstowngreg - Sep 18, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    Weird Al plays the accordion. I’m sure that was a critical factor in landing the gig.

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