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“Lip Sweaters”

Sep 21, 2012, 11:33 AM EDT


I think that’s the real takeaway here. That Dan Hayes of — or his headline writer if it wasn’t him — used the term “lip sweater” to describe a mustache. And that’s even more gross than “soup strainer.”

In any event, Adam Dunn and Paul Konerko had mustaches they were growing as some sort of motivational/tribute thing, decided to get rid of them at some point, but then couldn’t because they went on a winning streak. And as everyone knows, a player on a streak has to respect the streak. The Donkey knows this:

“My mustache was getting horrible,” Dunn said. “I wanted to cut it a few days ago, but we were winning games. I went as long as I could. I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror. It was bad. Can you imagine if we cut it and went in the tank? People would blame the ‘stache.”

Now we have, er, pretty Adam Dunn back.

  1. El Bravo - Sep 21, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    Good ol Dunner.

    • natstowngreg - Sep 21, 2012 at 11:54 AM

      From his two seasons in Nats Town, I came away with the impression ithat Adam Dunn is one of MLB’s coolest guys. I wish him the best.

  2. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Sep 21, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    Does anyone have a counter going to see if Dunn can win the “three true outcome” title this year? I think he is pretty close to leading the league in all three.

    • dan1111 - Sep 21, 2012 at 11:56 AM

      He will win the three true outcomes race by a hair.

  3. philsieg - Sep 21, 2012 at 11:46 AM

    “And that’s even more gross than “soup strainer.””

    Yeah, well, it could have been “womb broom”.

    • tfbuckfutter - Sep 21, 2012 at 11:55 AM

      That one makes me nauseous because every time I hear or read it I can’t NOT picture a gross hairy seventies porno.

      • dan1111 - Sep 21, 2012 at 12:00 PM

        I suggest you avoid reading this comment, repeating it aloud, or being present when others read it aloud, except when absolutely necessary.

    • indaburg - Sep 21, 2012 at 12:14 PM

      Oh, gawd. I’ve never heard womb broom before. Thanks for ruining lunch.

    • kopy - Sep 21, 2012 at 12:57 PM

      I’ve heard t*** tickler before. I know we’re not censored, but if you can’t figure it out I don’t want to be the one to tell you.

      • philsieg - Sep 21, 2012 at 1:05 PM

        I first heard the phrase from a college buddy in the ’60s. He referred to the activity in which one might employ one’s broom as “grousing the goodie” which, when you think of all the less…ahem, palatable terms, has a certain complimentary succinctness. Andy definitely had a different view of the world.

  4. cur68 - Sep 21, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    Ah, Adam Dunn. Where would MLB be without your handsome mug and its gorgeous face hair? Anyhow, it is my opinion that guys with red facial hair should never grow it out unless one wants to dress as Hagar The Horrible for Halloween.

    • dan1111 - Sep 21, 2012 at 12:10 PM

      Did you even read the article? He obviously wants to cover up his sweaty lip.

      • cur68 - Sep 21, 2012 at 4:31 PM

        Thank you Downer McKilljoy111. Now stop kicking puppies and insulting kittens. It makes angels cry.

  5. papacrick - Sep 21, 2012 at 5:53 PM

    Nice dick duster bro. I bet your boyfriend loves it

  6. papacrick - Sep 21, 2012 at 5:54 PM

    He actually has a ball brush too. Rockin the entire dick mop

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