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Teddy may finally win

Sep 26, 2012, 4:00 PM EDT

President's Race

The Nationals do the President’s Race during the fourth inning of every home game. Famously — and, increasingly, tediously — the Teddy Roosevelt mascot has never won the race.  It has become a thing, as they say, and people have been lobbying to Let Teddy Win.

Now, he may win:

But rumors are now swirling that the parody of the spectacled 26th president could finally have his day in the sun. Whispers is hearing that the Nationals, who have already secured a playoff spot, are planning to have Teddy win the Presidents Race in the Nationals final regular season game next Wednesday.

Is it too much to ask that, on the day Teddy finally wins, the Nationals complete their late season collapse and lose the NL East, forcing them into a wild card game that, in a sane world, Stephen Strasburg would start?  Curse of Teddy kind of thing?  I sort of feel like that’s too much to ask. But, you know, just sayin’.

In other news:

Whispers is hearing, too, that a brand new racing president could be introduced next season, though no word on whether that president would replace Teddy or be added to the roster.

Let Chester A. Arthur win!

 

  1. mazblast - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    My money is on Millard Fillmore.

    • dwrek5 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:08 PM

      Im going with Forty Deuce! Slick Willy…

  2. levistahl - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    Polk. A dark horse.

    Or Taft, for the sheer fun of it.

    (Also, presidents fans in case you haven’t seen it, um, this. Probably my favorite presidents-related thing since I was a kid and first picked up one of those quickie picture-book bios where the talking inanimate object that teaches the young soon-to-be-president an important moral lesson.)

    • shaggylocks - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:20 PM

      (link not working)

      • levistahl - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:23 PM

        Sorry–try this: http://faceintheblue.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/in-a-mass-knife-fight-to-the-death-between-every-american-president-who-would-win-and-why/

      • shaggylocks - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:31 PM

        Totally worth it. That was awesome!

      • historiophiliac - Sep 26, 2012 at 6:57 PM

        He needs to update that re: Andrew Johnson & James Garfield.

        Johnson — born poor and took his revenge on rich plantation owners after the Civil War. Bitter with a serious chip on his shoulder, he definitely would fare better than Lincoln. He would gut Adams and those rich boys in a minute.

        Garfield — a big guy who sold out his Civil War commander to get ahead. He managed to make a name for himself as an officer in the war despite constant bouts with the shits (per letters home to his wife). Definitely underestimated here.

  3. chadjones27 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    I’d like to see William Howard Taft try and make that run. They’d have to put a presidential head on a sumo suit.

  4. cur68 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    You people have some great presidents. Great in that they are noteworthy for being a touch…touched. I would like to see William Henry Harrison (your ninth President, 1841) in these races. He possesses a notable couple of good points. He was the first president to die in office; also, since he was 68 years, 23 days old when inaugurated, the oldest president to take office until Ronald Reagan in 1981; and last President to be born before the United States Declaration of Independence. He owns the best first though: he died on his 32nd day in office from pneumonia. This is the shortest serving tenure in United States presidential history. He should always win the race then fall dead after the finish. Drama, eh?

    • natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:13 PM

      Sad thing is, it takes a Canadian to tell most Americans about one of our own Presidents.

      • indaburg - Sep 26, 2012 at 5:18 PM

        Quick, name one Prime Minister of Canada. No googling allowed, and no, the one on South Park doesn’t count. I could only think of one. Embarrassing.

      • ThisIsBaseball - Sep 26, 2012 at 5:30 PM

        I wish I could find the really old picture from (I think) the LA Times, that had Clinton, the then President of China, and an “unidentified individual”… who it turns out was the then PM of Canada.

      • natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 6:56 PM

        Lester Pearson, Brian Mulroney, Pierre Trudeau. Oh, and Stephen Harper (I’m sure, no relation to Bryce).

      • indaburg - Sep 26, 2012 at 8:16 PM

        That’s pretty good. I could only remember Trudeau and that’s just because when I was a kid, I thought it was so cool that the PM of Canada also drew Doonesbury. I was sadly mistaken.

    • kevinbnyc - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:19 PM

      He caught pneumonia at his inauguration (held in January in those days) because he refused to wear a heavy coat over his military uniform. Badass to a fault.

      • voteforno6 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:30 PM

        Actually, until 1937, inauguration was on March 4th.

    • jashton11 - Sep 26, 2012 at 6:18 PM

      I like where you’re going with this, cur68, but I see Harrison’s career in the Presidents Race going a bit differently:

      Opening Day 2013 at Nationals Park. It’s been steadily raining for most of the day. The rookie William Henry Harrison lines up in the 4th inning for his first Presidents Race. The signal is given to start. Harrison takes three steps before slipping on the wet turf and blowing out both ACLs, forcing him into an early retirement. He’s never seen at another Presidents Race, going down in Nationals history as having the shortest racing career of any president.

  5. wethog66 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:11 PM

    Yeah its about time for Teddy to Fing win. I was there at opening day this year at Nats Park and I thought Teddy had it made. He tied the other Presidents shoes together, and they all fell to the ground, yet GW still came back to win after Teddy started hotdogging down to the finish.

    As for the rumor a new President will be added to the roster, I place odds on JFK or Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton. When I first read this rumor I immediately figured a parody of FDR was a shoe in, but FDR running a race isn’t historically accurate is it?

  6. runyetirun - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:12 PM

    Craig you’ve got a little bit of obnoxious Braves fanboy-ness on your shirt … left… more left… right there, got it.

  7. goskinsvt - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    Man you can feel Craig trying to will the Braves to the NL East crown. If the Nats play .500 the rest of the way, Braves have to go 8-0 to even tie. Hmm…

    • Francisco (FC) - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:23 PM

      The Irony in this is that Craig needs the Phillies to mop the floor with the Nats to have any chance at all… oooh Criag rooting FOR the Phillies… The Lair may collapse on itself due to the paradox.

      • indaburg - Sep 26, 2012 at 5:01 PM

        You just blew my mind.

      • natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 7:01 PM

        Watching the out-of-town scoreboard at Nats Park last week, seeing the Braves-Phillies score, holding my nose and saying “Go Phillies!” Literally, I held my nose. Couldn’t root for them any other way.

        Pennant races do such things to you. It’s nice to be in a pennant race and be able to do such things.

    • rooney24 - Sep 26, 2012 at 10:14 PM

      What if the Braves were to tie the Nats? Then, they would still have a one game playoff to decide the division. If they lost that, then they would end up in another one game WC playoff. That would be funny.

  8. 12strikes - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    Teddy is afraid to win… He knows as soon as he does Mike Rizzo is going to shut him down.

  9. kevinbnyc - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:15 PM

    1. What ever happened to not messing with a streak?!

    2. Please let it be George W.

    • nothanksimdriving123 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:23 PM

      W.? No way. He’ll just want to run off and invade Camden Yards!

  10. realgone2 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    I nominate history’s greatest monster – Jimmy Carter.

    • realgone2 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:25 PM

      Obviously 2 of you aren’t keen on that reference

  11. eshine76 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Why not William Henry Harrison? Just have him fall as soon as the race starts – EVERY TIME.

    • realgone2 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:23 PM

      HAHA!

  12. runyetirun - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:19 PM

    Since the city of Washington has no sense of humor, the new racing president clearly won’t be Nixon, but could you imagine if they did pick him and set him up as the villain/saboteur in every race, WWF heel style?

    • nothanksimdriving123 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:30 PM

      No, Nixon would cheat. But he can be in charge of recording the races if he promises not to “accidentally” erase significant portions.

      • natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 7:04 PM

        Hate to break it to you, but the Racing Presidents cheat often. How do you think Honest Abe gets the most wins? I’m amazed some congressional committee hasn’t had an investigation of this scandal.

  13. The Dangerous Mabry - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    It seems kind of unfair to Gio Gonzalez and Jordan Zimmerman that everyone seems to think Strasburg is the hands-down best pitcher on that team. He’s probably got the highest ceiling, but there’s a serious Cy Young contender on that team, and it’s not Strasburg.

    • runyetirun - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:21 PM

      THIS IS A DISCUSSION ABOUT GIANT FOAM HEADS

      • 12strikes - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:23 PM

        Most discussions involving politicians are about FOAM HEADS

      • nothanksimdriving123 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:26 PM

        His Craigness mentioned Strasburg, so fair game.

      • The Dangerous Mabry - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:35 PM

        Indeed. I’d have been happy to keep it about Foam Heads, but Craig had to make it about Strasburg.

        Still, I appreciate your fervor, and we’ll leave the baseball talk out of this from here out.

  14. natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    Don’t toy with my emotions, Calcaterra. I will not be responsible for the consequences.

    As for new Presidents. Once you get past the Mount Rushmore Presidents, there are so many possibilities.
    Just one ex., Generals (Washington, Jackson, Grant, Eisenhower). They could be the Washington Generals, race the Harlem Globetrotters, and lose.

    • runyetirun - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:25 PM

      Living Presidents – HW Bush, Carter, Clinton and Dubya. Dubya gets punked by his father at some point in every single race.

      • voteforno6 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:33 PM

        Even better, Dubya falls down, and his father comes rushing out of the tunnel to pick him up.

    • wethog66 - Sep 27, 2012 at 10:18 AM

      I wouldn’t hold my breath with Andrew Jackson being the new President. After what he did to the Indians it would be in poor taste to make a parody of Jackson. Already have one insensitive sports related Indian themed team in teh area with the Skins. Don’t need 2.

  15. isdtyrant - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    Would it be too much to ask to add two new presidents? Grover Cleveland, and Grover Cleveland.

    • nothanksimdriving123 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:33 PM

      22nd. 24th. 22nd. 24th. 22nd. 24th. She’s my sister AND my daughter.

    • The Dangerous Mabry - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:36 PM

      It would be important that they never finish consecutively in the race order.

      • natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 7:07 PM

        That’s why you would need a Benjamin Harrison.

        Hmm, the warning track at Nats Park is getting crowded…

  16. makeham98 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    Put the living breathing Slick Willie out there. Have them chase some thick floozie with a pocket full of corn dogs and he’ll go 81-0.

  17. frenchysplatediscipline - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    It would be so great if it was Clinton and he was carrying a cigar.

  18. natsfan22 - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:54 PM

    You are all missing the obvious choice…. Gerald Ford…. he became President without running so he could take over for Teddy and never win the race (or show up at the finish line by an alternate route and win every time!)

    • natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 7:10 PM

      Why just Ford? Why not Chester Arthur, Millard Fillmore, John Tyler, Andrew Johnson?

      • Steve A - Sep 26, 2012 at 7:24 PM

        Ford never ran for election before becoming Vice President or President. He was appointed by Nixon when Agnew stepped down. He then took over for Nixon when Nixon resigned. He ran in 1976 and lost to Carter.

      • natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 9:30 PM

        I know. Point is, Ford wasn’t elected in his own right. Same as the Presidents I mentioned. And different from those who were not elected at first, but later won in their own rights. Teddy, Coolidge, Truman, Lyndon Johnson.

      • Steve A - Sep 26, 2012 at 9:45 PM

        But Ford didn’t even run for Veep, either. At least the others were up for election as Veeps. That’s the key difference.

        It would be fun to have 9 foam heads running around the warning track, though.

  19. kalinedrive - Sep 26, 2012 at 4:54 PM

    You mean it’s RIGGED??

    • soxfan33 - Sep 26, 2012 at 5:31 PM

      they even change the people in each “President” so they 4 of them can’t get together and change the predetermined outcome.

    • natstowngreg - Sep 26, 2012 at 7:13 PM

      It gets worse. They’re not even actual Presidents!

      Before every season, the Nats have Racing President tryouts. Probably, the slowest one gets the Teddy costume.

  20. akismet-e6748cca3a16ea6e8283008d25583adc - Sep 26, 2012 at 5:31 PM

    No way Teddy wins this coming weekend. Personal guess on first win; opening day the year AFTER the Nats win a world series.

    Our previous guess was on Teddy Roosevelt bobblehead day; it was a pretty funny scene when he managed to lose that race.

  21. akismet-e6748cca3a16ea6e8283008d25583adc - Sep 26, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    If we ever replaced the Mt. Rushmore presidents in the race, I’d like to see basically our last four presidents racing. I think i’d be hilarious to see Obama, Bush Jr, Clinton and Bush Sr out there. Maybe replace Bush Sr with Reagan as a nod to Republicans who think he was one of the great presidents in history and that’s a pretty good crew. Who’d be the lovable loser (aka, the Teddy Roosevelt?)

  22. historiophiliac - Sep 26, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    “We stand at Armageddon, and we battle for the Lord!” — Theodore Roosevelt, 1912

  23. schmedley69 - Sep 26, 2012 at 9:54 PM

    I was at a Nats game a few years ago where there was a JFK in the race. That’s probably who the new president will be.

  24. randygnyc - Sep 27, 2012 at 12:02 AM

    If Clinton gets added will he be fondling a cigar and carrying flowers (not that she’d allow that after her molestation accusations)?

  25. amhendrick - Sep 27, 2012 at 9:24 AM

    They should pick Andrew Jackson, to up the ante on the rivalry with the Braves.

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