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Jeff Kent on “Survivor” recap: Manly handshakes

Oct 4, 2012, 10:47 AM EDT

Survivor Smacked Me In The Chops

I watched Jeff Kent on “Survivor” last night so you didn’t have to …

• For the second straight episode Kent was the first contestant mentioned in the “previously on …” opening montage, so the producers are clearly trying to make him one of this season’s stars.

• Kent figured out that one of his tribe mates, Jonathan, had secretly found the hidden immunity idol that everyone else was searching for. Kent’s reaction was to get angry at himself for not finding it first, saying: “I give him props … that’s a pure veteran move.”

• A few moments later Kent began scheming about how he could turn the tables on Jonathan, concluding that “we might be able to pull a little blindside.”

• Kent’s tribe received immunity for winning a swimming/puzzle-solving challenge, although unlike last week’s immunity challenge Kent didn’t actually do a whole lot. His injured knee, however, no longer appears to be an issue.

• After the immunity challenge Kent took Jonathan aside and got him to admit that he had possession of the hidden immunity idol. Jonathan then tried to form an alliance with Kent, who acted interested in the idea and replied: “If it means I need to ride in your boat because you have some knowledge and some power, then I’ll ride in your boat for a while.”

• They came to an informal agreement and shook on it, but Kent later admitted: “I gave him a four-finger handshake, not a manly five-finger handshake, because I’m not so committed. In my book, unless it’s a manly handshake it’s not going to count.”

• Seriously, that’s a direct quote. And then he justified the whole thing by saying: “This is a me game, not a we game.”

• On the episode-ending preview of next week’s show “Jeff plays ball with Jonathan” was one of the highlights and Kent was shown seemingly realizing that he suddenly had some decision-making pull, saying: “I can control some people.”

  1. alexo0 - Oct 4, 2012 at 11:03 AM

    “This is a me game, not a we game.”

    -Barry Bonds, June 25, 2002

  2. b7p19 - Oct 4, 2012 at 11:05 AM

    Thanks Aaron, you’re doing God’s work.

  3. El Bravo - Oct 4, 2012 at 11:14 AM

    Wow this show must suck donkey balls to watch.

    • nightman13 - Oct 4, 2012 at 11:20 AM

      Yup, that’s why it’s in its 21st season, because it’s terrible. It’s a mix of sports, game shows and wilderness survival. How awful.

      • kiwicricket - Oct 4, 2012 at 12:26 PM

        Is that you Dwight Schrute?

    • contraryguy - Oct 4, 2012 at 11:21 AM

      In short, yes. I’m visiting my Mom right now, and she watches this stuff all the time. So I watched last night with her to see what Kent would do (and Blair from Facts of Life too, heh). The 4-finger handshake line was hilarious.

      The show in general is just a 60-minute backstabbing session in beach attire. Kent appears to fit right in with that.

    • El Bravo - Oct 4, 2012 at 12:13 PM

      Wowowowow, 21 seasons! Well golly, I guess I better start watching The Price is Right and General Hospital too?

      • frenchysplatediscipline - Oct 4, 2012 at 12:18 PM

        NO sir- 21 seasons and I have not seen one goddamn episode.

        The fact it has lasted that long is just further proof as to how far our society has devolved.

        Fucking sheep.

      • kevinbnyc - Oct 4, 2012 at 1:34 PM

        Hey. The Price is Right is a great show.

      • contraryguy - Oct 4, 2012 at 2:11 PM

        Dude, Hospital is off the hook.

      • El Bravo - Oct 4, 2012 at 5:30 PM

        The Price is Right was great back when Barker was at the helm being all harassy and stuff.

  4. kiwicricket - Oct 4, 2012 at 12:04 PM

    So if Kent wins, does he get to/(have to contractually) play in the ‘Celebrity’ softball game at the All-Star break? Now that would be comedy.

    Also

    Gleeman, if Craig can link Andrelton Simmons package, you can link some boobz at some point.

    • cur68 - Oct 4, 2012 at 12:23 PM

      Kiwi your quest to have boobz linked it both laudable and noble. You sir are doing Dog’s Work.

    • foreverchipper10 - Oct 4, 2012 at 3:32 PM

      If boobz is what you are looking for look no further than the contestant on the show who goes by RC. She is, well, stacked. Also Angie but she gone.

      • channingtaintum - Oct 4, 2012 at 4:48 PM

        Survivors been my guilty pleasure since the very first season. Best Game-Show on TV; social, mental, physical, has it all, including incredibly hot women.

        http://ewinsidetv.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/angie-layton.jpg

        And if that ^^^^^^^ makes me a “fucking sheep” then bahhhh, bahhhhh

  5. finfan88shark - Oct 4, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    Only watched this show twice. Dumbest show ever. It is all fake and scripted but people actually believe its real.

  6. stex52 - Oct 4, 2012 at 3:11 PM

    Hasn’t Jeffy fallen into a tarpit or been eaten by a python or something? That would be a happy ending for me. I would watch.

  7. channingtaintum - Oct 4, 2012 at 4:58 PM

    I believe any article on Jeff Kent should ONLY be accompanied by this picture….

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/2001_mlb_spring_training/news/2001/03/29/springtraining_three/photo9/

    • El Bravo - Oct 4, 2012 at 5:33 PM

      1. Awesome name
      2. I’m elated to know that picture exists. I was certain that bird was in a billion pieces after being beaned….nay smoked….nay murked.

  8. stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2012 at 11:24 AM

    “Is that you Dwight Schrute?” Phuqing Awesome! Well played Kiwi. Well played.

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