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Brennan: reign in the post-clinching booze-blasts

Oct 5, 2012, 10:00 AM EDT

Nationals Werth shakes beer and champagne out of his hair while celebrating with teammates after they defeated the Phillies in Washington

We see a lot of beer and champagne celebrations after teams clinch, well, everything. When I’m feeling particularly grumpy and humorless I tend to think that maybe teams should save such celebrations until they win the pennant at the very least because, really, these things are getting a bit rote and scripted and isn’t one celebration enough?

When I’m not feeling grumpy, however — and that’s most of the time — I realize that these are grown men who can and should be able to do whatever the hell they want. And in no instance is my objection to them going to be some sort of puritanical “this is all too much alcohol and debauchery” thing. Unlike Buzz Killington here:

The stunning excess exhibited in these celebrations is perhaps the biggest problem of all. This isn’t a matter of just popping a cork or two or 10; this is an all-out, binged-up, beer and champagne blast. It would be one thing if it were being done in private, but it’s not. It’s there for all of us to see, and it will repeat itself over and over again in the coming weeks.

That was actually Christine Brennan of USA Today, who could not be reached for comment because she was off thinking of the children someplace. Mostly Bryce Harper, who she mentions a lot in this story even though it seemed like the Nationals and Harper took great pains to not have the underage kid drink. Fair enough, though. You don’t want scenes of teenagers boozing it up.

Beyond that, however, I’d personally rather see these team-sanctioned booze blasts than to have them curtailed, which encourages the players to go out on the town to party. ┬áBecause if it’s official, you have to imagine that the team is making sure the players all have sober rides home. And as far as I can recall, we’ve never had a DUI incident after one of these clinching blow-outs. ┬áDo it off-site and you’re inviting chaos.

  1. kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2012 at 2:14 PM

    Have scantly dressed women in animal skin loin clothes, hand feed you grapes as you are paraded around the field on a float carried by minions….seriously, go nuts. I would.
    Just do it when you actually win something. Just like the rest of the world.

  2. pugsley927 - Oct 5, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    She’s an idiot. Tell her to stick to her lesbian sports.

  3. 4cornersfan - Oct 5, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Christine is a renowned authority on figure skating where diminutive athletes whirl around on silver skates in bright, sequined costumes striking dramatic poses. Enough said. On the other hand, where can I get a copy of that photo of Jason Werth? I want to blow it up for the wall of my party room.

  4. thetruth702 - Oct 5, 2012 at 4:29 PM

    Liberals… Holy crap! Ridiculous. Omg a 19 year old around booze? The world must be ending.. What a joke. Cryin over teams celebrating

    • nothanksimdriving123 - Oct 5, 2012 at 5:15 PM

      thetruth? Talk about a misnomer! Blaming liberals for being upset about some alcohol flowing at parties is 180 degrees off the mark. It was mostly conservatives who gave us Prohibition, thank you very little, and liberals who helped end that disaster.

  5. uschawk - Oct 5, 2012 at 6:01 PM

    God forbid anyone have fun at anytime whatsoever.

  6. jayquintana - Oct 5, 2012 at 6:26 PM

    Couldn’t agree more. These celebrations are tiresome. The NFL doesn’t allow this — don’t think they’re losing out on anything.

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