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Derek Jeter was in the bathroom when Russell Martin hit the go-ahead homer. Does this mean anything?

Oct 8, 2012, 10:30 AM EDT

Derek Jeter Reuters

Jeff Passan reports that Derek Jeter was not around to see Russell Martin go deep in the ninth inning of last night’s game. Why?

“I was in the bathroom,” Jeter said.

Hey, you gotta go, you gotta go.  Passan, however, takes a larger lesson away from all of this:

Because he has been here before, and because he might be the coolest human being in the world, Derek Jeter tends not to approach playoff games that are tied in the ninth inning with the white-knuckle anxiety of an average person … Hold the old prostate jokes and think about what that says: the trust, the conviction, the swagger – that these Orioles, who had pushed the Yankees all season long and were again doing it in Game 1 of the best-of-five series, did not warrant his full attention in the ninth inning of a tied playoff game.

Or — and maybe I’m just pissin’ in the wind here myself — he really had to go, he just got off the field from the bottom of the eighth, if he waited any longer that half inning it would be his turn to bat, and if he waited beyond that he would have had to go out to the field to play short in the bottom of the inning.

Occam’s Razor, folks. If a guy is going potty, it may have more to do with his bladder than it has to do with swagger, Mystique, Aura and all of that jazz.

  1. Jeremy T - Oct 8, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    The best part about this is, if it was A-Rod or Swisher or something the article would be all about how he wasn’t there rooting on his teammates in a big spot. And it would be just as meaningless.

  2. artthoumad - Oct 8, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    I hate how everyone has to criticize all the little things the Yankees do (or don’t). It’s even worse when people read things like that and believe it.

  3. yankeesfanlen - Oct 8, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    Leave Beep-beep Alone????

    • stex52 - Oct 8, 2012 at 4:57 PM

      Way up there on the list of things I didn’t need to know.

  4. jwayne03 - Oct 8, 2012 at 10:44 AM

    Jeter how dare u to use the bathroom when Martin is up to bat… you are straight up the worst teammate.


    home run ball

  5. darthicarus - Oct 8, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    I’m actually disappointed there’s an article about an article written about Jeter taking a leak.

    • Jeremy T - Oct 8, 2012 at 11:00 AM

      You mean you don’t lay awake at night pondering the urinary habits of the rich and famous? Weird.

  6. brewcrewfan54 - Oct 8, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Creating news where there isn’t any. Is this ESPN?

  7. jonesy1155 - Oct 8, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    Very interesting article.

  8. anthonykornheiser - Oct 8, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    craig, took the words out of my mouth. How about he just had to go to the bathroom. Luckily for athletes, especially baseball players, the bathrooms are right there.
    Passan is a joke. Basically trying to spin it how he has no respect for the Orioles, give me a break. He basically just had to go to the bathroom, not basically, he did have to go.

  9. b7p19 - Oct 8, 2012 at 11:26 AM

    How has nobody brought up the possiblility that this was a case of #2? Everybody seems to be just assuming he had to pee. Maybe he was so nervous about being on the big stage that his stomach was upset and he needed to, um, find relief. We need more facts about this.

    • darthicarus - Oct 8, 2012 at 12:28 PM

      I believe that would be something that Mr. Gleeman could investigate. Didn’t he do a write up a few months back about bathroom hi-jinxs?

    • freeagentsignee - Oct 9, 2012 at 10:31 PM

      “Number two.” No pun intended!

  10. temporarilyexiled - Oct 8, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    Yeah, Jeter made it happen.

    Everything he does comes out well.

    At least he didn’t say he’s the straw that stirs the drink.

  11. Jeremy T - Oct 8, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    Something something gift basket something something something.

    There. Now it’s a Derek Jeter article.

  12. sportsdrenched - Oct 8, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    I would expect this type of #analysis from a lunitic Fanboy who is so disconected that they forget that there are actual humans involved in these games instead of actors that you can pause with a DVR…Not Jeff Passan. I like most of Passan’s stuff. Which is why I’m disapointed.

  13. jpietrefesa - Oct 8, 2012 at 12:26 PM

    Are you really talking about when the guy has to use the bathroom? Get a life and leave him alone

  14. deathmonkey41 - Oct 8, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    Russell Martin actually credited his game winning HR to Derek Jeter’s urine stream…true story.

  15. stabonerichard - Oct 8, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    Players have plenty of time to take a leak, or even pinch one off, during their turn in the dugout when their spot isn’t due up in the order. That’s a occurrence & complete non-story.

    Buwho would like the scoop on how umps handle this type of predicament. Those guys are stuck out there on the diamond for every pitch. Sure, they could probably scurry away between half innings to whiz, but if a fudge dragon is ready to rear its ugly head what the heck are they supposed to do?!

    At least the guys stationed around the rest of the diamond can stand upright and clench their cheeks. But for a home plate ump, who’s gotta squat down for every pitch…ay yay yay. Plus, many of the men in blue are getting up there in age when bowel control apparently becomes more of an issue. Either way, if I was an ump I’d absolutely be rocking an adult diaper on nights I’m behind the dish.

  16. albertmn - Oct 8, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    Nice Occam’s Razor reference!

  17. marinersnate - Oct 8, 2012 at 1:48 PM

    Jeter was not in the bathroom. Obviously, being “the coolest human being in the world” he was out posing for a statue between innings.

  18. kevinbnyc - Oct 8, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    Russell Martin has requested that Jeter take a piss during all his at bats going forward. Can’t mess with a streak.

  19. onbucky96 - Oct 8, 2012 at 5:50 PM

    He was hiding cause he heard Mark Walberg took up security in the tunnel.

  20. polargirl360 - Oct 8, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    What shade of yellow was Jeter’s urine or was it clear? Did he make a bowel movement as well? If so, there are a lot of questions like what shade of brown was it assuming it wasn’t green indicating diarrhea, how many ends of the feces was tapered assuming it wasn’t liquid splatter and of course the size of the feces.

    Reporters need to get this kind of information if they expect to publish stories on athletes’ bathroom visits. No reader interested of these kind of stories will tolerate lack of specific information.

  21. ironpeddler255 - Oct 9, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Even the hottest Super Models have to take a dump sometimes! If Jeter is anything like me after taking a healthy one, I feel like I could run the 400M hurdles in the Olympics I feel so light on my feet!

    When you gotta go, you gotta go…

  22. freeagentsignee - Oct 9, 2012 at 10:27 PM

    Jeter had to go.
    Go Yankees!

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