Oct 15, 2012, 8:20 AM EST
Did you know that there is a 100% correlation between watching football and death? Really, every single person who has ever watched a football game has either died or will, without question, die in the future. Stop the dying, people. Stop watching football. It’s for your own good.
In case you haven’t decided to turn your life around and drop the demon pigskin, here’s what you missed this past weekend on HBT. First, the playoff action:
- The Cardinals stunned the Nationals in the ninth inning late Friday night.
- But don’t worry, the Nats will be OK long term.
- Still, OK or not, until they win a World Series, their legacy will always be that of the team that tempted fate and paid the price.
- Meanwhile, the Giants watched and waited on the tarmac.
- The series may have already started, but our ALCS preview and NLCS preview are still worth your time.
- Over in the ALCS, Raul Ibanez played the hero again, but it wasn’t enough.
- And losing the game wasn’t even the worst part of it. And the playoffs won’t be the same without Captain Jetes.
- For the Tigers, their closer’s ninth inning meltdown was a blessing in disguise.
- Stay classy, Washington: rooting for the Cardinals gets a Washington Wizards player threatened.
- All the talk about Alex Rodriguez struggling when, actually, Robinson Cano has been worse.
- And the umpiring has been even worse than Robinson Cano. And Joe Girardi is all over it.
- Not Jose Valverde comes through.
- The Cardinals beat the Giants, and it’s all on Madison Bumgarner.
Meanwhile, in non-playoffs news:
- Jaime Garcia needs surgery.
- Mixed signal theater: Bud Selig wants more instant replay. Yet his deputy, Joe Torre dismissed the botched Omar Infante call yesterday as just one of them things that happen. Get it together, baseball.
- Oh, and Joe Torre is probably not gonna manage again. If he did, I presume that he’d change his tune about replay.
- Jason Giambi a serious candidate to manage the Rockies? OK.
- Tragedy struck the Carlos Corporan family.
- The Dodgers dumped their hitting coach.
- The Mets are going to talk to David Wright about a contract soon.
Wow. This time next week we’re gonna know who’s in the World Series. Nifty.
- Blue Jays sign Dayan Viciedo to a minor league deal 8
- Chris Sale will be sidelined for three weeks with foot fracture 11
- Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his last year 32
- Francisco Rodriguez re-signs with the Brewers 9
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended 306
- Pirates open to massive extension for Andrew McCutchen 18
- Report: Josh Hamilton had a relapse this offseason that “involved at least cocaine” 86
- Yankees don’t plan on having to pay A-Rod’s $30 million in home run milestone bonuses 52
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended (307)
- San Francisco — and all of California — will consider a smokeless tobacco ban that includes MLB parks (131)
- Curt Schilling lowers the boom on some men tweeting threats against his daughter (122)
- Brian Sabean says that California taxes are a hindrance to the Giants signing free agents (102)
- Ichiro is happy to be away from Joe Girardi (88)