Oct 15, 2012, 8:20 AM EDT
Did you know that there is a 100% correlation between watching football and death? Really, every single person who has ever watched a football game has either died or will, without question, die in the future. Stop the dying, people. Stop watching football. It’s for your own good.
In case you haven’t decided to turn your life around and drop the demon pigskin, here’s what you missed this past weekend on HBT. First, the playoff action:
- The Cardinals stunned the Nationals in the ninth inning late Friday night.
- But don’t worry, the Nats will be OK long term.
- Still, OK or not, until they win a World Series, their legacy will always be that of the team that tempted fate and paid the price.
- Meanwhile, the Giants watched and waited on the tarmac.
- The series may have already started, but our ALCS preview and NLCS preview are still worth your time.
- Over in the ALCS, Raul Ibanez played the hero again, but it wasn’t enough.
- And losing the game wasn’t even the worst part of it. And the playoffs won’t be the same without Captain Jetes.
- For the Tigers, their closer’s ninth inning meltdown was a blessing in disguise.
- Stay classy, Washington: rooting for the Cardinals gets a Washington Wizards player threatened.
- All the talk about Alex Rodriguez struggling when, actually, Robinson Cano has been worse.
- And the umpiring has been even worse than Robinson Cano. And Joe Girardi is all over it.
- Not Jose Valverde comes through.
- The Cardinals beat the Giants, and it’s all on Madison Bumgarner.
Meanwhile, in non-playoffs news:
- Jaime Garcia needs surgery.
- Mixed signal theater: Bud Selig wants more instant replay. Yet his deputy, Joe Torre dismissed the botched Omar Infante call yesterday as just one of them things that happen. Get it together, baseball.
- Oh, and Joe Torre is probably not gonna manage again. If he did, I presume that he’d change his tune about replay.
- Jason Giambi a serious candidate to manage the Rockies? OK.
- Tragedy struck the Carlos Corporan family.
- The Dodgers dumped their hitting coach.
- The Mets are going to talk to David Wright about a contract soon.
Wow. This time next week we’re gonna know who’s in the World Series. Nifty.
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights 77
- Astros vendor brings snow cones into bathroom stall, gets fired 40
- Don Mattingly will still be the Dodgers’ manager on Friday 15
- Jake Westbrook feeling lingering discomfort in right elbow 5
- Las Vegas police investigating Jose Canseco as a suspect in sexual assault case 70
- MLB is putting players in camouflage uniforms on Memorial Day. Which is kinda weird. (117)
- Barry Bonds: Miguel Cabrera is the best … but not as good as me (111)
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights (81)
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights (77)
- Albert Pujols doesn’t matter anymore (74)
- Lochte says Phelps will return soon
- Tebow fact: He reminds Chuck Norris of Chuck Norris
- LeBron stuns Pacers with OT winner in Game 1
- Pens overwhelm Sens, take 3-1 series lead
- Tiger calls Sergio's comments inappropriate, hurtful
- Bears great Urlacher announces retirement
- HBT: Canseco suspect in Vegas sexual assault