Oct 15, 2012, 8:20 AM EDT
Did you know that there is a 100% correlation between watching football and death? Really, every single person who has ever watched a football game has either died or will, without question, die in the future. Stop the dying, people. Stop watching football. It’s for your own good.
In case you haven’t decided to turn your life around and drop the demon pigskin, here’s what you missed this past weekend on HBT. First, the playoff action:
- The Cardinals stunned the Nationals in the ninth inning late Friday night.
- But don’t worry, the Nats will be OK long term.
- Still, OK or not, until they win a World Series, their legacy will always be that of the team that tempted fate and paid the price.
- Meanwhile, the Giants watched and waited on the tarmac.
- The series may have already started, but our ALCS preview and NLCS preview are still worth your time.
- Over in the ALCS, Raul Ibanez played the hero again, but it wasn’t enough.
- And losing the game wasn’t even the worst part of it. And the playoffs won’t be the same without Captain Jetes.
- For the Tigers, their closer’s ninth inning meltdown was a blessing in disguise.
- Stay classy, Washington: rooting for the Cardinals gets a Washington Wizards player threatened.
- All the talk about Alex Rodriguez struggling when, actually, Robinson Cano has been worse.
- And the umpiring has been even worse than Robinson Cano. And Joe Girardi is all over it.
- Not Jose Valverde comes through.
- The Cardinals beat the Giants, and it’s all on Madison Bumgarner.
Meanwhile, in non-playoffs news:
- Jaime Garcia needs surgery.
- Mixed signal theater: Bud Selig wants more instant replay. Yet his deputy, Joe Torre dismissed the botched Omar Infante call yesterday as just one of them things that happen. Get it together, baseball.
- Oh, and Joe Torre is probably not gonna manage again. If he did, I presume that he’d change his tune about replay.
- Jason Giambi a serious candidate to manage the Rockies? OK.
- Tragedy struck the Carlos Corporan family.
- The Dodgers dumped their hitting coach.
- The Mets are going to talk to David Wright about a contract soon.
Wow. This time next week we’re gonna know who’s in the World Series. Nifty.
- One PED-fueled, record-breaking felon is good. The other PED-fueled, record-breaking felon is bad 57
- Patrick Corbin diagnosed with “damage” to left UCL 38
- The Yankees were no-hit by the Marlins in Panama 36
- Report: Jose Iglesias could miss most of the 2014 season 46
- Manny Machado dealing with scar tissue in knee, increasingly unlikely for Opening Day 10
- Red Sox prospect gets arrested, acts like a monumental jackwagon (107)
- Is Barry Bonds really getting a “fair hearing?” (104)
- Keith Olbermann REALLY hates that Barry Bonds is coaching the Giants for a week (102)
- Manny Machado calls $519K salary for 2014 “disappointing” (90)
- Giants players love having Barry Bonds at spring training (90)