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A-Rod: not hitting, but still trying to score

Oct 16, 2012, 9:12 AM EDT

Alex Rodriguez AP

This may be the most New York Post story ever:

After being replaced in the bottom of the eighth inning in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series, the highest-paid Yankee openly flirted with a pair of pretty women two rows behind the dugout — even sending them a ball bearing a note asking for their phone numbers, a witness told The Post.

“I watched him flirt with two admittedly very cute young women nearby,’’ the witness said.

But see, that part of it is actually fun. Here’s the part that makes it New York Posty:

Instead of rooting on his teammates as they struggled to stay alive during the tense game at Yankee Stadium, A-Rod, 37, had a ball boy toss the young women a baseball inscribed with a message asking for their numbers … Fans sitting behind the dugout at Saturday’s game said they were disgusted after witnessing A-Rod’s shenanigans, which were more befitting a sixth-grader than a serious ballplayer.

There is a fabulously indignant quote about it from some anonymous fan too, which sounds so spot-on perfect in its flabbergasted outrage that I’d be shocked if the person who gave it wasn’t clutching his or her pearls at the time.  RIP to all of those people who died as a result of these tragic shenanigans.  If only A-Rod had been as dour and serious as they were, this atrocity would never have occurred.

By the way, this is a good time to look back to that thing about narratives we discussed yesterday, because a story like this is the kind of thing where narrative silliness is almost certain to occur.

It’s one thing to look at this as a fluffy, silly amusing story which allows us to crack wise. That can be a lot of fun if we let it be and if we don’t take everything so damn seriously. For example: if one of the “admittedly very cute young women near by” call A-Rod back, we can all take great joy in the fact that he has finally stopped striking out.

It’s another thing altogether, however — another idiotic thing — to turn this inconsequential little tabloid story into some metaphor for Rodriguez’s and the Yankees’ postseason struggles or something. If we pretend that This Means Something, either in a baseball sense or a moral sense or a work-ethic sense that has Serious Consequences for the New York Yankees and Alex Rodriguez‘s legacy.

I say we should feel free to have all the fun with this kind of story we want, and to let our references to it be only limited by our senses of humor (note: almost all of the jokes will be bad and beaten into the ground by noon, but it’s not like that has stopped us before) .  However, to the extent you’re reading something from a baseball writer or talking to some other fan and they want to turn this into Chicken and Beer South, be assured that you are dealing with some weapons-grade stupid.

  1. Alexandra - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:15 AM

    I was wondering if the New York Post could get any more New York Post-y after the “Kate Upton dating Verlander, Yankees dating B-list celebs” headline, and I’m glad to see they have.

    • proudlycanadian - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:22 AM

      Are you implying that Kate Upton is an A-list celeb?

      • Alexandra - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:26 AM

        I think NY Post was. Or maybe they were implying Verlander is the A-list celeb Kate Upton is dating.

      • proudlycanadian - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:33 AM

        Thanks for the reply Alexandra.

      • genericcommenter - Oct 16, 2012 at 12:15 PM

        Definitely more D than A.

  2. darthicarus - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:21 AM

    I imagine the note Alex wrote on the ball was more along the lines of “Do you like me? (circle one) Yes NO”

    The returned ball had “Maybe” circled.

  3. willclarkgameface - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    Look, just because his baseball bat isn’t getting any hits doesn’t mean his pug stick shouldn’t. It’s all good. A-Rod deserves some good NY city leg after having such an embarrassing post-season existence for his ENTIRE career minus 2009.

    I can’t stand him as a player, but tell me one man that isn’t jealous of his wang.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:40 AM

      for his ENTIRE career minus 2009.

      And 2004, and 2000 and even the Cleveland series in ’07 was average for him. But yeah, just one season he was good…

    • kiwicricket - Oct 16, 2012 at 10:16 AM

      If you could even begin to imagine just how disturbing Madonna would look the morning after, you wouldn’t write things like that.

  4. untamedride - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    All it takes is one hit to break a slump

  5. chill1184 - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    A-Rod is behaving like any other man would when he sees an attractive woman. ZOMG CONTROVERSY!!!!!

    • albertmn - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:20 AM

      Sorry, I have to disagree. I don’t ask every attractive girl for their phone number, and I certainly have never hit on a paying customer at my job.

      The thing is that he has to have enough avenues to find women that he doesn’t need to do it during a playoff game. It isn’t the end of the world, nor does it have a strong correlation to his struggles. But, at the same time, have som decorum and save it for another time. Does anyone believe he has so few opportunities to meet women that he just HAD to take that opportunity?

      • kevinbnyc - Oct 16, 2012 at 12:58 PM

        I’m going to assume you’re also not a billionaire with an ego the size of Montana. Pretty sure, in any circumstance, if Alex wants to hit on a woman, he will, and he’ll probably be successful more often than he is at the plate.

  6. shaggylocks - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    To be fair, Chicken and Beer North was a pretty stupid narrative as well.

  7. blacknyellablacknyella - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    As a Yankees fan, I would hope that A-Rod would be more focused on winning a title (especially during an October game). Then again, I’m relieved to read that he is actually relaxed and playful during a game when it appears, while at the plate, he’s wound so tightly his balls are gonna pop off. Perhaps this relaxed A-Rod will be able to produce at least a foul tip or two in Game 3.

  8. stex52 - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    He’s tired of only getting to third base on defense.

  9. silversun60 - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    Jeter: No, idiot! You give them the signed ball the morning AFTER in a gift basket you leave in the cab for them…

    • temporarilyexiled - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:44 AM

      Was going to do a riff on this. Thankfully, you did it better.

  10. number42is1 - Oct 16, 2012 at 9:44 AM

    BRING BACK KATE HUDSON!

    • Kleinz 57 - Oct 16, 2012 at 10:30 AM

      What I want to know is whatever happened to Torrie Wilson?!?!

  11. yankeesgameday - Oct 16, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    Go look up mickey mantle’s letter to the Yankees about getting blown in the bullpen during a game he sat out and the stfu.

    • yankeesgameday - Oct 16, 2012 at 10:04 AM

      Then

    • albertmn - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:22 AM

      One bad choice doesn’t validate another bad choice.

  12. danaking - Oct 16, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    “weapons-grade stupid”

    Consider that stolen.

  13. indaburg - Oct 16, 2012 at 10:09 AM

    “…a story like this is the kind of thing where narrative silliness is almost certain to occur.”

    I think a story like this is the very definition of narrative silliness, no? That said, I hope he got their number. He is too wound up at the plate. He needs to relax.

    • stex52 - Oct 16, 2012 at 1:14 PM

      I don’t know if it’ll help. I mean, the problem is he is having trouble catching up to the fast ones ………………………..Har Har Har

      • indaburg - Oct 16, 2012 at 4:10 PM

        Be here all week, try the veal? :-)

  14. kiwicricket - Oct 16, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    Tall attractive physical specimen worth $100Million, I am sure he has no trouble attracting women. As long as he doesn’t identify himself as ‘Alex Rodriguez’, he should be fine.

  15. djeter220 - Oct 16, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    They really try to make it sound like the ball wasn’t the extent of the flirting. As if he were at the top step of the dugout making kissy faces and giving the “call me” signal.

    • darthicarus - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:00 AM

      I’m sure he contemplated taking a bathroom break to pull a Favre & send them some “junk” mail after getting their numbers.

  16. sidelineshot - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Get as many babes as you can … while you can.

  17. randygnyc - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    ARod has already earned nearly a half of a billion dollars. He lives in the finest mansions. He drives the finest cars. Wears the finest clothes and eats the best, most freshest foods. Six months a year, he sleeps until he’s rested and does the things only he decides he wants to do. He’ll never worry for money for the rest of his life. And, he’s got his ring. Oh, and he f@cks pretty much any woman he really wants to.

    In the face of all that, it seems pretty pointless to bash him when, in the end, our criticism can’t have any effect on his quality of life.

    • 18thstreet - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:49 AM

      Most freshest foods?

      • newpairofsox - Oct 16, 2012 at 12:35 PM

        Opposite of least baddest, as in, “you have the least baddest grammar.”

    • larrytsg - Oct 16, 2012 at 8:50 PM

      Oh, and I bet his sh*t smells like ice cream!

  18. xpensivewinos - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    Remember when he people loved A-Rod and thought he was the greatest player in the history of history?

    Seems like a hundred years ago. Now he’s A-Hole and seems to be reviled in a Barry Bonds-esque manner.

    He’s like a wrestler who went from being a good guy to a bad guy.

    • mazblast - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:41 AM

      Considering how A-Rod is hitting, the wrestler would be more likely to get a hit.

  19. Carl Hancock - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    How long before that ball ends up on eBay? Or did it get returned to him with their numbers on it?

    I’m sure some idiot would love to pay a lot of money for this unique piece of baseball memorabilia.

  20. Old Gator - Oct 16, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    Afterwards, A-Rod invited them up to his apartment. Shortly thereafter, a delivery boy was spotted delivering a sixpack of Lowenbrau Dark Oktoberfest Special with the import paperwork still pasted to the carton, and a family sized bucket of the Colonel’s extra crispy fried chicken. Shortly thereafter, low moans and deep sighs and the crunching of the fried chicken coating could be heard issuing from beneath the door.*

    Well, at least he had the common courtesy not to bring beer and fried chicken into the clubhouse.

    *That’s for all those who loved Who’s Killing the Great Chefs of Europe and remember the bonbons-in-bed scene.

  21. itsonlyaspeedbump - Oct 16, 2012 at 12:01 PM

    The “Carlos Beltran is literally the greatest postseason player in the history of baseball” narrative is something I can get into (screw sample size! I want hyperbole!)

    The never-ending spew of bile directed at A-Rod by the writers of NY media? Yea, pretty tiresome. In this case metrics>narrative

  22. MattJanik - Oct 16, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    If you don’t like your baseball players chatting up girls in the stands, then fair warning: don’t ever sit a couple rows behind the bullpen at any minor league stadium in the country. Cleat Chaser Central.

    It’s like the talking heads forget that the brain is pretty capable of multi-tasking. What if… What if A-Rod was carrying on a conversation AND watching the game ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!?! Heavens!

    Oh well. New York Post gonna New York Post.

  23. decimusprime - Oct 16, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    We don’t find love, love finds us. I met my wife in a similar way. (passed a note asking for a date) It’s not like A-Rod took a grounder, pulled out a pen and then went to flirt between outs. He was benched and had nothing else to do. And it seems he was trying to hit a double…can you dig it?

  24. serbingood - Oct 16, 2012 at 1:28 PM

    Having lost faith in Kevin Long, I believe that A-Rod was seeking advice on how to hit a slider that is high and inside.

    Desperate times call for desperate measures.

  25. xmatt0926x - Oct 16, 2012 at 1:29 PM

    Thank god they handled that problem with the state troopers asking for autographs! Lack of professionalism in the dugout is just so wrong!!!

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