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The Cardinals are number one at number one and number two

Oct 18, 2012, 12:31 PM EDT


Given a choice between covering a World Series in St. Louis vs. San Francisco, the selfish part of me is pulling for San Francisco because (a) I have a lot of friends there; and (b) it’s San Francisco.  But I’m not a fanatic about it, and my mind is open for persuasion on the matter.

For example, when the self-proclaimed urine and feces experts — really, the site is called “UFE: Urine and Feces Everywhere” — say that Busch Stadium fans demonstrate the best bathroom hygiene in all of baseball, well, that’s a definite plus in the Cardinals’ column:

What can you say about Busch Stadium when you consider that it was the only park in our survey to get an “A” rating? One hundred percent of the women wash their hands in the restroom, and the men are not too shabby when it comes to restroom hygiene, either. Busch Stadium is one of the few parks that the UFE (Urine Feces Everywhere) Team would feel comfortable shaking another fan’s hand.

In these rankings being number 30 — where the Cardinals are — is the best. Being number one is the worst (though maybe I’d invert it and number two).  Among the other playoff teams still standing — or, in some cases squatting — the Yankees are the worst at number 7, The Tigers are at number 20 and the Giants are at a quite respectable 23.

The worst in all of baseball: Wrigley Field. Though, in Cubs fans’ defense, it is almost certainly way less hygienic to actually touch the faucets in those nasty bathrooms than it is to bust out of there as quickly as possible hoping that you didn’t do anything too gross to yourself.

(thanks to Jonah Keri for bringing this loveliness to my attention)

  1. cadillacjosh - Oct 18, 2012 at 12:41 PM

    With how drunk (mostly) the entire stadium gets, hours before first pitch, I have to say I am very proud the Brewers check in at 28.

  2. Francisco (FC) - Oct 18, 2012 at 12:48 PM

    The much maligned Philly fan base is rated 25, not bad at all, and above all of their division rivals no less.

    • kevinbnyc - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:20 PM

      Probably because they’re talking only about the bathrooms, not the stands. Where you could be vomited on.

  3. pmcenroe - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:10 PM

  4. shaggylocks - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:11 PM

    Dammit, don’t publish things like this during lunch time! I don’t want to think about urine and feces everywhere while I’m eating leftover chunky stew from last night!

  5. bigleagues - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:23 PM

    While we in New England have known for quite some time that Yankees fans are bigger dirtbags than Red Sox fans, we now have the proof:

    More than half of male Yankees fans don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Is anyone really surprised by this? Anyone?!

    Meanwhile 3/4 of male Red Sox fans have good hygiene. AND, even our women are cleaner . . . if only slightly.

  6. cur68 - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:33 PM

    “Did they check the shampoo in the visiting team’s bathrooms?”
    -Jay Buhner

  7. hojo20 - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:38 PM

    The bathrooms are Wrigley equate to a prison. A line of people inches behind you while at a common urinal isn’t exactly enjoyable.

  8. kiwicricket - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:41 PM

    What sort of messed up trough is that? It looks like some sort of bath tub or giant sink stuck to the side of the wall. It’s just begging for some jerk to plug it up and create a pool.
    Why is there a handrail? To rest??

    I’m scared to think that if I went in there half drunk, I would try and wash my hands in it.

    They had the right idea, tile background, all they needed was the actual trough running under toilet cubical. Everyone line up, choose a tile, way you go.

    *If that is indeed a wash basin, please forgive me and be thankful I will never step foot in your home.

  9. xmatt0926x - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    Hard to believe the newer stadiums that are on this list. I guess bathrooms aren’t on the top of the list for architects, but they should be. There’s no bigger turnoff for me when I’m at a vacation spot or amusement park, etc with the family and the bathrooms are a disgusting mess. it also reflects poorly on your city or town when people from elsewhere visit. If I was building a stadium, knowing the beer consumption is going to be high, I’d start the blueprints with huge, kick-ass bathrooms with more stalls than needed and move on from there. If anyone links on to the story, don’t look at the pic of the urinal trough at the A’s stadium if you’re having lunch. I can’t imagine a packed house and having to pee in a friggin trough with 20 other drunk guys.

    • paperlions - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:54 PM

      The list appears to be as much about bathroom hygiene than the bathrooms themselves….apparently, new bathrooms don’t encourage fans to wash their hands more.

      • xmatt0926x - Oct 18, 2012 at 2:09 PM

        Agreed Paperlions, but I was also surprised to read that some of the newer parks had small and cramped restrooms. It doesn’t make sense to me.

    • kiwicricket - Oct 18, 2012 at 2:02 PM

      I am guessing whoever contributes or writes for ‘UFE: Urine and Feces Everywhere” keeps that one pretty close to their chest and/or doesn’t have a girlfriend.

  10. j0hnnyd23 - Oct 18, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    So basically Chicago has a bad team and they don’t wash their hands…do you think they wash their balls?

    • kiwicricket - Oct 18, 2012 at 2:05 PM

      No, they rub mud on them just like everyone else.

  11. indaburg - Oct 18, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    The Trop may be a dump, but at least our bathrooms are nice: “The restroom was very clean and well built, with optimal spacing between the urinals and sinks…”

    • pmcenroe - Oct 18, 2012 at 3:16 PM

      easy to keep clean when no one uses them. BOOM!

      • indaburg - Oct 18, 2012 at 4:43 PM

        Ha! I guess I asked for that one.

  12. umrguy42 - Oct 18, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    This NOT what’s *usually* meant by “Best Fans in Baseball”, but hey, why note? 😀

    • Alex K - Oct 18, 2012 at 3:51 PM

      At least the fans didn’t make this one up!

      • stlouis1baseball - Oct 19, 2012 at 12:48 PM

        Alex…the fans didn’t make anything up. This comes from announcers and players.
        I don’t like it one bit either. But alas…whaddya’ do?

  13. joewilliesshnoz - Oct 18, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    As for all of those in the waste water treatment industry, remember to flush twice, they need the overtime .

  14. johnanthonyvallone - Oct 18, 2012 at 4:40 PM

  15. johnanthonyvallone - Oct 18, 2012 at 5:18 PM is still waiting for Mr. Ricketts of the Cubs to return his call. Plenty of ideas to clean up Wrigley. Call me, Maybe!!!

  16. johnanthonyvallone - Oct 18, 2012 at 5:28 PM

    The New York Mets have their own problems. Stinky Waterless Urinals and filthy stalls.

  17. johnanthonyvallone - Oct 18, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    Lets not forget the Gross Oakland A’s stadium. The LA Dodgers are even worse, if you can imagine that!

  18. schmedley69 - Oct 18, 2012 at 7:12 PM

    When I first started reading this post I thought for sure that it would end with Craig trolling Phillies fans somehow, but it looks like he didn’t have a leg to stand on since we were ranked so high. Who would have thought that the “animals” in Philly would rank so high?

  19. yahmule - Oct 18, 2012 at 9:23 PM

    The Cardinals go to some extreme measures to keep their bathrooms that clean.

  20. johnanthonyvallone - Oct 19, 2012 at 4:20 PM As long as there are men that argue whether hand-washing is really necessary, then we will continue to see a problem. Do men really thing hand-washing is a communist plot or is it a massive rationalization for laziness.

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