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Great Moments in Cause and Effect

Nov 2, 2012, 2:30 PM EDT

Curt Schilling, August 21, 2012:

Schilling tweeted that “if the state loses money it’s because the Governor is a dunce of epic proportions, nothing I can do about that.” In follow-up tweets on Monday, Schilling also called the governor a “buffoon” and called the prospect of him getting re-elected in 2014 “terrifying.”

Lincoln Chafee, November 1, 2012:

Governor Lincoln Chafee used a video message today to announce litigation by the state over the failure of 38 Studios. The defendants named in the state’s action include Curt Schilling and former EDC director Keith Stokes.

Curt Schilling, November 2, 2012:

Schilling says he believes he’s being sued in part because of critical comments he made about Gov. Lincoln Chafee. He also says he might file his own lawsuit.

I actually kinda doubt that the lawsuit decision had anything to do with Schilling’s August comments. I did litigation for the State of Ohio for close to a year, and it just doesn’t work like that. Filing suit against anyone is a big pain in the butt, no one really wants to do it unless they have to and, if anything, it’s a decision made by 30 people below the governor who wouldn’t pay a lick of attention to dumb comments like Schilling’s in order to pull the lawsuit trigger in the first place.

But part of me does want to believe that those comments brought it all down. Because that would be too awesome for words.

  1. willclarkgameface - Nov 2, 2012 at 2:45 PM

    Curt Schilling is a douche.

    • circuscivics - Nov 2, 2012 at 2:58 PM

      Took the words right out of my mouth.

      • El Bravo - Nov 2, 2012 at 3:00 PM

        Me too. He shall be douchenozzle #21. Not sure how I missed him all year.

        1. Randy Miller – South Jersey Courier-Post (abuses BBWAA privileges, HOF vote by submitting blank ballots; also invented superhero Saberboy, which is cool)
        2. Luke Scott – perennial all-star douchenozzle. Luke says, “you don’t have to worry about me unless you’re a criminal or communist.”
        3. Ryan Braun – for cheating and also for not cheating, either way we will likely never know the truth, and that is annoying.
        4. Jon Heyman – CBS (for having a documented history of talking up and selling Scott Boras clients to ball clubs)
        5. Nick Swisher – seriously, do I need a reason?
        6. C.J. Wilson – Tweeted Napoli’s cell number as “prank” b/c Napoli said he was looking forward to hitting HRs off of him this season.
        7. Matt Bush – DUI and for ruining his career
        8. Joba Chamberlain – for thinking he is capable of using a trampoline with his fat toady ass
        [Joba’s addition was rescinded given how unlucky the poor bastard was and he was just trying to be a good dad.]
        8. Bobby Jenks – DUI (influence mainly muscle relaxers…), amazing quote “When Deputy Sutphin asked Jenks if he had taken anything else other than the muscle relaxers, he told the officer that he “was going to be honest with you, I was just leaving Babes because I hit a car. I just had to get out of there.”
        9. Delmon Young – Assault; anti-Semitism; generally just a D-to-the-nozz all around.
        10. Pedro Gomez – BBWAA voter with no sense.
        11. Cole Hamels – for beaning Harper for being 19 and talented.
        12. Rob Dibble – Because he shoulda never left this list as the inaugural douchenozzle.
        13. Bud Selig – repeatedly suggests, nay insists, that no one wants more instant replay in baseball.
        14. Hawk Harrelson – homerism reaches new bounds by repeatedly calling out umps for hurting the “good guys” with bad calls.
        15. Bobby Valentine – per Alex K, “Bobby V. isn’t on the list yet? He said a coach taking time off to tend to his sick kid was ‘on vacation.’ Total nozzle statement, bro.”
        16. Yunel Escobar – Wore “TU ERE MARICON” eye-black like a douchenozzle would do.
        17. Roger Goodell – The totalitarian regime of which is the NFL, headed by the iron fist of Goodell, is so powerful that the douchiness of their league temporarily penetrated the MLB blogosphere, hence the NFL-related DN addition.
        18. Jamie McCourt – For trying to add on to her $131 million settlement with Frank b/c the Dodgers sold for more than she thought they would ($2 billion). Mainly though, for simply being in the news again this year, qualifying Ms. McCourt for this DN list.
        19. The Offseason – no baseball. Seriously, the offseason is such a dick.
        20. Francisco Rodriguez – for cheating then beating his lady…allegedly.
        21. Curt Schilling – nuff said.

      • number42is1 - Nov 2, 2012 at 3:03 PM

        Poor Poor Swisher

      • Hunter Pence's Eyes - Nov 2, 2012 at 4:32 PM

        <3 the DN list.

      • ltzep75 - Nov 2, 2012 at 4:56 PM

        7. Matt Bush – for killing someone while driving under the influence of alcohol, thus ruining many other lives besides his own privileged one.

        Or at least that’s what I think it should say. And I write this not in a douchenozzle-y way.

        Also, I think he should go higher on the list, but Randy Miller is, in fact, a giant douche.

      • tfbuckfutter - Nov 2, 2012 at 5:05 PM

        Where is Mark Grace on the list?

      • tfbuckfutter - Nov 2, 2012 at 5:09 PM

        Matt Bush didn’t kill anyone.

      • tfbuckfutter - Nov 2, 2012 at 6:25 PM

        I’m drawing down-votes for stating a fact?

        The guy Matt Bush ran over didn’t die.

      • ezthinking - Nov 3, 2012 at 2:07 AM

        “The guy Matt Bush ran over didn’t die.”

        Well then, nominate him for sainthood.

  2. manute - Nov 2, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    “He also says he might file his own lawsuit.”

    For what, punitive damages that Lincoln Chafee is giving him? Presumably, he will also sue the people that Chafee works with and handles.

    • antifreeze27 - Nov 2, 2012 at 3:22 PM

      Well, he had insurance but it was through a friend.

    • antifreeze27 - Nov 2, 2012 at 3:26 PM

      I seriously wish I could have given like, several thumbs-up for that.

    • aceshigh11 - Nov 2, 2012 at 6:24 PM

      “Punitive damages?

      Why not?? Sue everybody!!”

      — Sol Rosenberg

  3. natstowngreg - Nov 2, 2012 at 3:15 PM

    Happily, calling our elected officials names is not a criminal offense. Any wishes by Evil Craig(TM) notwithstanding.

  4. ufullpj - Nov 2, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    Not only is litigation a pain the butt, but consider the fact that only 5-7% of lawsuits ever actually go to trial. It’s expensive, time consuming, and too unpredictable.

  5. Marty - Nov 2, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    I don’t feel all that sorry for the state. These same boys wanted to play venture capitalist with taxpayer money. Play with a bag of dicks you better be prepared to take a bite.

    • philsieg - Nov 2, 2012 at 4:11 PM

      You sure do have a way with words, Marty.

      • Marty - Nov 2, 2012 at 4:30 PM

        Thanks, man.

    • ltzep75 - Nov 2, 2012 at 4:57 PM

      Take a bite of what, exactl….oh.

  6. stlouis1baseball - Nov 2, 2012 at 6:20 PM

    It’s about damn time Bravo! Where you been Man?

  7. thebigtim2012 - Nov 2, 2012 at 6:41 PM

    Sorry met schill a few times when his business was in my hometown. Pretty good guy

  8. Caught Looking - Nov 2, 2012 at 7:07 PM

    Meanwhile, Kingdoms of Amalur Complete Bundle [Download] is available for only $11.99.

  9. serbingood - Nov 2, 2012 at 8:02 PM

    So this means MORE or LESS air time on ESPN?

    Vote MORE by texting SchillingDouche to 666 666 666
    Vote LESS by texting SchillingDouche to 666 666 665

    (sarcasm on the texting)

  10. revansrevenant - Nov 3, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    I’d like to point out that Curt is absolutely correct on one thing: Linc Chaffee is a complete ****ing idiot. I don’t know how he got elected. I suspect he rigged the election, because no one I have met in this pathetic excuse of a state has ever admitted to voting for him. I certainly didn’t.

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