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Jeff Kent on “Survivor” recap: “By the time Obama takes it”

Nov 8, 2012, 11:19 AM EDT

Survivor Smacked Me In The Chops

I watched Jeff Kent on “Survivor” last night so you didn’t have to …

• Jonathan narrowly avoided being voted out in last week’s episode and is very upset, telling everyone how betrayed he feels by Kent and others who lied to him about their plan. Meanwhile, Kent remains completely focused on voting out Jonathan, admitting to the camera that he “gave up a lot of power and authority” in last week’s unsuccessful effort to do so.

• There are two stages to the immunity challenge. The first involves ripping through rope knots and then going through a mini-obstacle course, which Kent does well enough to advance to the final round with Jonathan and Pete. The second stage is solving a puzzle and Jonathan rallies late to win the challenge, securing immunity and saving himself from almost surely being voted out. In losing Kent remarks: “What a joke.”

• Talking to the camera a frustrated Kent opines that Jonathan “just bought himself another three days of a dead man walking.” He then openly tells Mike that he’s the new person on the chopping block. However, once Kent leaves the area multiple other players immediately bring up his name as someone to vote out.

• Kent catches wind that he might be in danger, telling the camera: “We were all set to let Mike go, but now I found out they’re gunning for me. Hopefully the bullet’s gonna go in the right direction.” Kent seemingly talks enough people to swing the vote into getting rid of Pete, telling the camera: “Pete’s going home and we all got all six votes.”

• Earlier in the episode Kent remarked to the camera that “Lisa is so naive and so soft and so nice.” In direct contrast to that Lisa (also known as “Blair” from “The Facts of Life”) outed Malcolm as holding one of the hidden immunity idols and during tribal council that causes Malcolm to admit he has it to everyone. And then in a very odd turn of events Abi confesses that she also has an immunity idol.

• With that information out in the open Jonathan basically pleads his case for everyone to keep him around and instead vote someone else out. When he asks if everyone is ready to do that, Kent tersely replies: “We’ve discussed those options and many more, I think you know about that.”

• “Survivor” host Jeff Probst is dumbfounded by what’s taking place, saying that this is the most complicated and interesting tribal council he’s seen in 25 seasons. And then to make it even crazier, neither Malcolm nor Abi actually play their immunity idol after convincing everyone not to vote for them because the vote would be wasted anyway once they played it.

• Probst begins to pull out the votes and after each one listing Kent’s name Kent has an absolutely hilarious reaction. Kent looks totally shocked with each vote, glancing to his right and left like the world’s worst actor had just been told by a director to “act shocked.” Then on the fourth vote with his name on it Kent literally mutters to himself, saying “wow.”

• It’s a 4-4 tie between Kent and Pete with one vote to go … and Kent is voted out. He is completely stunned.

• In his exit interview Kent goes off on one helluva rant:

You know what pisses me off? I think I’ve made about 60 million dollars playing baseball and I want this frickin’ million dollars in this game. And it’s not even a million bucks, it’s 600 grand by the time Obama takes it. I’m a Game 7 World Series loser. You know, I played in the biggest games in the world and the worst games in the world, and this just sucks.

Note: Kent actually made $86 million playing baseball and went 0-for-4 with two strikeouts in Game 7 of the World Series in 2002, as his Giants lost to the Angels.

• In the span of one episode in television time and approximately 48 hours in real time Kent goes from seemingly being in complete control of the game to the point that he can determine who gets voted out to losing all control while being voted out himself in ninth place. And, most importantly, this means I no longer have to recap “Survivor” episodes in this space every Thursday morning and no longer have any excuse whatsoever to spend an hour each week watching this show.

The tribe has spoken!

  1. channingtaintum - Nov 8, 2012 at 11:30 AM

    One of the most exciting episodes in years!

    Penner was the man, he knows he’s next to go, but he wins immunity, which causes perhaps the best tribal council I’ve ever seen, then uses his vote to not help Kent, but throw it away at Abi, which will crumble what little sanity she has left. Just brilliant.

    Aaron, you can’t tell me you don’t want to see what happens after this? The challenges were grueling, the alliance moves were frantic and on the spot, even people who have never watched Survivor before would have found this episode to be a lot of fun.

  2. aceinthehole12 - Nov 8, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    I actually like Survivor, been watching since I was 13(season one), glad Jeff is gone. Never cared for him as a player in baseball or on this show.

    • hlang - Nov 8, 2012 at 12:16 PM

      A moron who would personalize (and miscalculate) the US tax system as “Obama tak[ing] it,” and who whines about his travails becoming a multi-millionaire by playing sports, reveals with his own mouth how and why he is an inglorious and deserving loser.

      • cdmoore38 - Nov 9, 2012 at 11:21 AM

        I don’t think he was whining, he flat out said he knew that he had made over $60 million playing baseball but that he still wanted to win the $1 million dollars on the show. Sounds to me like he was just “pissed off” which he actually said at the start of his interview. I thought his exit interview was hilarious. There is a difference between miscalculating and exaggeration. Being worth as much money as he is, I would have to assume that he is very much aware of the tax rates. Ultimately, with the highest tax bracket currently around 35%, he could have ended up giving close to $350,000 back depending on what loop holes he has access to.

      • jennaalive - Nov 9, 2012 at 1:48 PM

        So agree. The sour grapes in that interview were RIDICULOUS. And claiming “Obama” takes his money is just plain idiocy. I’d liked Jeff in the game up until last night, but that killed it for me. Good riddance.

  3. jeffa43 - Nov 8, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    Never watched the show until I heard Kent was on there.

    Won’t watch it again.

    Get a kick out of watching the hater.

    • stex52 - Nov 8, 2012 at 12:34 PM

      I wanted to offer to the Astros management that I would give Jeffy a ride to the airport when he left.

      Talk about an annoying human being.

      • jeffa43 - Nov 8, 2012 at 2:27 PM

        Well said Stex52…

        Well said.

        His closing rant should be on his tomb stone.

        He is a miserable human being.

  4. pilonflats - Nov 8, 2012 at 12:07 PM

    Sorry Mr. Highbrow, I find Survivor HIGHLY entertaining…

  5. ptfu - Nov 8, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    Aaron–thank you for biting the bullet, taking one for the team, and watching & recapping all these episodes. Next time I’m in your neck of the woods, drinks are on me.

    • Kleinz 57 - Nov 8, 2012 at 12:14 PM

      I concur on the “biting the bullet” thing.

      But really. All this does is reinforce how little value there is when an athlete opens his or her mouth. There are exceptions like Brandon McCarthy or Chris Kluwe. And of course Mr. Kent can harbor whatever political opinions he wishes; that’s within his right. But this is just exaggerated bile that offers no informational value whatsoever. And it’s scarily reminding me of 90% of all post-game interviews in general simply turned up to 11. ‘We just played the game the right way.’ ‘We couldn’t get it done.’ Same thing. Kill me now.

  6. phillyphannn83 - Nov 8, 2012 at 2:02 PM

    In other (non)news, Aaron is still trying to mask his true and undying love for Survivor. Sorry pal, were not buying it. You can’t bulls**t a bulls**ter.

  7. therightisalright - Nov 8, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    Kent is exactly right about the federal government’s confiscatory tax policy. Jeff when you run for office you’ve got my vote.

    • aceshigh11 - Nov 8, 2012 at 6:46 PM

      Nice try, but taxes are at record 60-years lows, Shemp.

      Now shut up and go crawl back under a rock with the rest of the knuckle-dragging cretins who got your bloated, saggy, lily-white asses handed to them by a black guy named Hussein.

      I mean, really…how incompetent are you people? You couldn’t even successfully demagogue a black man with a Muslim middle name.

      You guys have really slipped from the soaring heights of swiftboating a Vietnam War veteran only 8 short years ago.

      It’s really sad. This past election was like not being able to defeat a guy named Mike Hitler for President in 1942.

    • Kleinz 57 - Nov 8, 2012 at 8:04 PM

      Hey man, it’s a free country. But if you’re serious about giving a vote to Jeff freakin’ Kent, I hope he runs for the Whig Party

  8. sandrafluke2012 - Nov 8, 2012 at 6:45 PM

    Don’t worry Jeff. Obama will spend it well. ON green energy projects. Or to give to his donors for an “investment” Or to give to Unions to “save” the auto industry. Or for Obamacare, which will give more people coverage, defying the laws of supply and demand.

  9. pantherpro - Nov 8, 2012 at 7:34 PM

    Jeff you are perfect for Texas! You have some money yet still remain an ignorant hillbilly. Money can’t buy class just look at your fellow Texans! Are you wearing your cross today? Pathetic chump!

    • cdmoore38 - Nov 9, 2012 at 11:56 AM

      If your comment wasn’t so damn halarious it might actually offend us Texans. You are correct though, money can’t buy class, just look at 99% of the rap/hip hop stars walking around with more mony in diamonds in their mouth than all the “vulnerables” living off of welfare will ever see in their lifetime. Oh yeah, that is real class there! For the record, Jeff Kent was born and raised in Ca. Regardless, we’ll gladly accept him as one of us down here in the profitable, “not near bankruptcy” state of Texas. I’d much rather have people that say what is on their minds rather than cower under the weight of political correctness. As for the term hillbilly, here is the definition: Hillbilly is a term (often derogatory) for people who dwell in rural, mountainous areas of the United States, primarily southern Appalachia. To this day, I have yet to see a mountain in Texas. Our state tends to be very flat yet very profitable in agriculture and energy resources. Our state could be self-sufficient unlike so many of the other states. My point is, if you want to talk about people having no class, being ignorant and pathetic, maybe sir, it is time you invested into a new mirror.

      • cdmoore38 - Nov 9, 2012 at 12:03 PM

        and by mony…I of course meant money! Just had to make sure you knew us hillbillies down here in the flat lands of Texas did know how to spell.

      • jennaalive - Nov 9, 2012 at 1:52 PM

        You can spell money, but you can’t spell hilarious, apparently.

  10. blabidibla - Nov 9, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    Kent was never able to keep his eye on the prize, instead becoming sidetracked with petty jealousy and distracted by his own ego.

    And now he does it again on Survivor.

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