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Chipper Jones does not think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone

Nov 15, 2012, 8:50 AM EDT

If Chipper Jones‘ retirement means that we’re gonna get late night JFK conspiracy twitter rants and the like, consider me much happier about Chipper Jones’ retirement than I previously was:

The Braves pitching coach for the past few years has been Roger McDowell. How much you wanna bet that Mr. Magic Loogie and Chipper discussed this at length on team flights?

Also: why do I laugh uncontrollably when I picture Chipper Jones, sitting in front of his locker in, say, Shea Stadium in 1997, reading the Warren Commission Report? I picture Maddux walking away from him whenever Jones tries to make a point but, like, Ryan Klesko nodding his head and asking Jones to tell him more.

  1. moogro - Nov 16, 2012 at 1:18 AM

    Tower 7.

  2. jimbanks02 - Nov 23, 2012 at 5:41 AM

    “Don’t expose him to bright light. Don’t ever get him wet. And don’t ever, ever feed him after midnight.” See? See what happens when you don’t follow the directions? Told you this would happen! I bet next time you’ll listen!

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