Skip to content

The time Louis C.K. met Luis Tiant

Dec 10, 2012, 1:50 PM EDT


This made me laugh, for some reason.

Louis C.K. gave this answer as part of a questionnaire he filled out for Vanity Fair magazine’s comedy issue:

When and where were you happiest?

I got Luis Tiant’s autograph at a paint store when I was nine years old. Some local paint store hired him to sit at a table for a day and autograph these leaflets advertising their special prices on paints. He looked miserable. I remember thinking, This is the best moment of my entire life and the worst moment of his. Luis Tiant was a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, by the way.

C.K. was nine years old in 1976, when a 35-year-old Luis Tiant went 21-12 with a 3.07 ERA in 279 innings for the Red Sox. Tiant never won more than 13 games in a season again, so maybe that paint store experience is to blame.

  1. El Bravo - Dec 10, 2012 at 1:55 PM


  2. losangelesfan - Dec 10, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    I had the same experience with Bobby Valentine. I was 9 years old and stood in line to get his autograph. I was elated to meet him and he was completely disgusted.

  3. danielponce - Dec 10, 2012 at 2:03 PM

    Louis ck looks like ryan dempster

    • stabonerichard - Dec 10, 2012 at 2:14 PM

      Both of whom share a resemblance with Dan Finnerty.

  4. number42is1 - Dec 10, 2012 at 2:36 PM

    I keep reading his name as taint… then i giggle a little

    • nygiantstones - Dec 10, 2012 at 3:54 PM

      I did the same and was positive that a baseball post about Louis CK would involve some kind of taint joke.

  5. icanspeel - Dec 10, 2012 at 2:50 PM

    I wonder if every baseball fan has a similar story involving meeting a ball player? I remember when I was a young kid meeting Bruce Bochy and getting his autograph and then looking at his stats and thinking how much he stunk and I didn’t even want it anymore. Little did I know he’d turn into a much better manager than player.

  6. darthicarus - Dec 10, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    For years I HATED Jack Morris because he wouldn’t sign a program for me back in ’85. My parents waited with me outside Tiger Stadium by the team bus to get the players autographs and up until about 2 years ago I believed Morris had told me he didn’t have time and he rushed on the bus. I ended up finding that program and saw all the autographs on there…and I’ll be damned if I didn’t have a Jack Morris front & center on there. Turns out my hatred for Morris should’ve been aimed at KIRK GIBSON! My 6-year old memory was forever tarnished by harboring hatred for the wrong guy for so many years. I assume this is why Jack Morris isn’t HOF material, my years of mental ill-will towards him ruined his aura.

    Sorry Jack!…and screw you Gibby, I was 6 years old and you were just going to sit on a bus for a few hours what were you in a hurry for!!!

    • mybrunoblog - Dec 10, 2012 at 3:30 PM

      How long until you join the Jack Morris for HOF campaign?

  7. yahmule - Dec 10, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    Gibson always ran around with a red ass about something or other when he was a player. Shining on six year olds is weak sauce.

  8. Lukehart80 - Dec 10, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    In 1995 I was waiting outside Comiskey with a couple friends, hoping to get some autographs (I was a kid then). We got Lee Smith (who was with the Angels at the time), whom I was super excited about because he held the saves record and I assumed that meant he was a lock for the Hall of Fame (ah, the ignorance of youth…), a player named Chris Snopek, who seemed legitimately happy to be signing, and Ozzie Guillen, who was on the phone with his mother at the time, but as good enough to sign anyway (eventually he dropped his phone and lost the call. Sorry, Mrs. Guillen!).

    Finally, after a long wait, the big fish, Frank Thomas exited. We were on the other side of a fence surrounding the players’ parking lot by that point. Thomas’ ride was brought to him while we pleaded for him to walk the 100 feet between us and sign (there were a total of 6 or 7 people at the fence). If he’d gotten in the car and driven off, I’d have been disappointed, but I’ve had understood. Instead though, he took a rag out of his trunk and what must have been some wax, and proceeded to wipe the car down for 5 or 6 minutes. THEN he drove off.

    I held it against him for years…

  9. libertynchurch - Dec 10, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    While I was busing tables as a 14 year old at a hotel restaurant on the Main Line in Philly, I ran into Johnny Callison and his date. I didnt do such a good job of hiding my admiration for him, or his beautiful blond date! They both laughed, and he put a nice, crisp ten dollar bill on the table. That was a real nice tip in 1964, trust me.

    Even now, I smile when I remember. As a young African American from a bad section of North Philly, I had never had a genuine moment with a white man. Remember, we’re talking 1964. I also learned how a man should graciously tolerate attention towards his lady.

    I have told this story to all of my kids and grand kids. I could tell Johnny knew that I was too young to be clearing
    unfinished mixed drinks from the tables. His nod and mischievous smile that night helped me know, first hand, that I would be OK, because I had dreams bigger than being a busboy.

    Too bad I never took the time to write Johhny and tell him that I made it to a corner office at 4 World Trade Center, at the corner of Liberty and Church streets.

    Thanks Johnny!

  10. ochotrinko - Dec 10, 2012 at 5:24 PM

    “I remember thinking, This is the best moment of my entire life and the worst moment of his.”

    Great line.

  11. delchef9 - Dec 10, 2012 at 7:20 PM

    One time , leaving The Vet in Philly in the late 80;s Mike Schmidt (driving a dark SUV) cut us off to rush outta the players lot….LOL
    On a positive note I moved out to Mo, for a few years and 3 years ago my son got tickets to the Spingfield Cardinals game. I always hated the Cards from back in the day when they were a division rival so I went wearing Royals colors right!! All the players were out front to greet us THEY ALL signed my sons book…..he got Carpenter, Kozma and all they were all very nice……so they are not all bad…….I still hate the St.Louis Cards tho sorry!!!!

    • stlouis1baseball - Dec 12, 2012 at 3:23 PM

      It seems fan appreciation (or at least minimally…feigned fan appreciation)…is ingrained into the Cardinals organization Delchef. My Wife and I were married at Busch II. With Fredbird delivering the ring…and the scoreboard displaying the entire proposal. Right up to the end when Fredbird got down on one knee and opened the box. It wasn’t until later that we learned we were sitting in the Cardinals organizations seats.
      The whole thing didn’t cost me a dime. They wouldn’t take any money. Again…the lady who worked with me (took several months to plan) gave me her seats! We had no idea.
      Good times had by all (including everyone sitting around us).

  12. thesportsguy52 - Dec 10, 2012 at 8:40 PM

    Gibson, nor any other athlete on this planet owes you a single GD thing. Get over it.

    • louhudson23 - Dec 11, 2012 at 6:03 AM

      Owes him,as in send him a bill and sue him if he doesn’t pay it? You are correct. But we all owe our fellow human beings a certain amount of respect.And someone who makes their living playing a sport owes those who attend the games,buy the merchandise,watch on TV(or phone or computer) a certain amount of respect for that . Whether Gibson really blew him off or he imagined it ,as he did for Morris is unknown. But the idea that Gibson,while paid to play,does not owe something to those who provide the revenue is ludicrous. There is a price to be paid for success.An autograph to a young fan at the ballpark is a very small one. Or just wear a sign saying”I am a dick,leave me alone”(lend them yours for a template) and they may very well do so…..

      • stlouis1baseball - Dec 12, 2012 at 3:31 PM

        (lend them yours for a template).
        In. Your. Face.

  13. stackers1 - Dec 11, 2012 at 8:22 AM

    I guy I worked with told me a story several years ago that always warms my heart.

    He said his son (a little kid) was a huge Will Clark fan. He took him out to Shea when the Giants were in town & got there early so the kid could try to get some autographs. The kid waited until Will Clark came out on the field & began playing catch with another player. The kid yelled, “hey Will, over here, over here”. Clark waived to the kid as he continued his catch. My buddy said he didn’t know if that meant, “yeah kid, hi, now go away” or “just wait there for a minute”. Well, it turned out to be the later. A few minutes later Clark came over to his kid – asked him his name (we’ll say Billy) and signed on his pad, “Dear Billy, Thank You for being my friend. Will Clark”.

    I get choked up writing that.

  14. yousuxxors - Dec 12, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    This goes for all people … Some are dicks and others are not

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. D. Wright (2546)
  2. D. Span (2383)
  3. G. Stanton (2347)
  4. Y. Puig (2292)
  5. J. Fernandez (2253)
  1. B. Crawford (2171)
  2. G. Springer (2100)
  3. M. Teixeira (1952)
  4. M. Sano (1843)
  5. J. Hamilton (1820)