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“Some days, the Reds’ usually frenetic utilityman would simply sit in his chair and stare into his locker…”

Dec 23, 2012, 5:15 PM EDT

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Marc Lancaster served as the Reds beat writer for the Cincinnati Post from 2004-2006 and developed a close relationship with Ryan Freel, who was at the peak of his MLB career during those three seasons.

Freel, a husband to Christie and father to three daughters, took his life with a shotgun at his family home in Jacksonville, Florida on Saturday. And now Lancaster is offering a unique perspective on the kind of man Freel was and the sort of internal issues that he struggled with in a special remembrance for CBSSports.com:

It became almost a daily routine in the Cincinnati Reds’ clubhouse in the mid-2000s. Ryan Freel would do something, or say something, or a look a certain way, and those who were around him on a regular basis immediately could deduce whether “Good Freel” or “Bad Freel” had showed up to work that day.

The difference was stark. Some days, the Reds’ usually frenetic utilityman would simply sit in his chair and stare into his locker, not interacting with anyone about anything. Other days he would bounce around the room, greeting anyone in his path – teammates, clubhouse attendants, reporters – with over-the-top enthusiasm and occasionally a bear hug.

Head on over to Eye On Baseball and read the whole thing. We’ll steal just one last line:

As former major league outfielder Rocco Baldelli said on Twitter Saturday night“Lets pay better attention to the ones we love.”

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