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Red Sox, Mike Napoli working through “hip” language

Dec 27, 2012, 3:37 PM EDT

“Hip” language? Hey, you know what they say: see a broad to get dat booty yak ‘em… leg ‘er down a smack ‘em yak ‘em!

 

If you don’t speak jive, that means the language regarding what the Sox will do if Napoli’s hip keeps him from playing, pursuant to the issues with it which were apparently found during his pre-signing physical.

  1. cur68 - Dec 27, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    I don’t know what to make of any of that.

    • paperlions - Dec 27, 2012 at 4:24 PM

      It is because of this – vv

    • kalinedrive - Dec 27, 2012 at 5:00 PM

      Well, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl!

    • indaburg - Dec 27, 2012 at 6:28 PM

      Excuse me, stewardess. I speak jive.

      • historiophiliac - Dec 27, 2012 at 7:21 PM

        Did you just call Cur “stewardess”? lol

      • cur68 - Dec 27, 2012 at 7:50 PM

        …and don’t call me “stewardess”.

    • zzalapski - Dec 27, 2012 at 8:43 PM

      When John Henry hears about this, the shit’s going to hit the fan!

  2. Bryz - Dec 27, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    Craig displaying how white he is with this article today.

    • natslady - Dec 27, 2012 at 4:04 PM

      You’re one of the few that is bothered by those things.

      • Bryz - Dec 27, 2012 at 5:20 PM

        Nah, I’m not bothered by it. Just amused.

    • koufaxmitzvah - Dec 28, 2012 at 8:22 AM

      Craig is white?!?

  3. huffdaddyco - Dec 27, 2012 at 3:53 PM

    Golly.

  4. uyf1950 - Dec 27, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    I only have one thing to say:

    • proudlycanadian - Dec 27, 2012 at 4:16 PM

      They were quite good, but the king of Jive talking was Cab Calloway. He was the hippest hep cat of all.

    • APBA Guy - Dec 27, 2012 at 7:10 PM

      Barry could write some tunes…

  5. jwbiii - Dec 27, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    The clip to go with Craig’s still

  6. El Bravo - Dec 27, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    Word.

  7. xpensivewinos - Dec 27, 2012 at 6:07 PM

    Red Sox need to cut bait.

    This is like a bad relationship before it even starts. Shouldn’t there be a honeymoon period for things like this that bring that false sense of optimism even for a little while? We haven’t even had that.

    This thing is doomed. Just walk away and kick yourself for not trading for Kendrys Morales…….

  8. anxovies - Dec 27, 2012 at 6:10 PM

    As Long John Baldry once said, “Don’t Try To Lay No Boogie Woogie On The King Of Rock And Roll.”

  9. revansrevenant - Dec 27, 2012 at 7:26 PM

    “Hip” language? What, are they writing his contract in 1337speak?

  10. hushbrother - Dec 28, 2012 at 3:58 AM

    “Pursuant to” is probably the least hip saying in the English language. The only places you ever read that phrase are in legal documents.

  11. realgone2 - Dec 28, 2012 at 8:29 AM

    Hmmmm. Wonder why Craig isn’t offended by this obvious stereotype of 70s black men, but if the Braves put an Indian Warrior’s face on hat it’s terrible.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Dec 28, 2012 at 8:31 AM

      If you can’t tell the difference between an intentional farce for comedy purposes and the use of a screaming savage as a mascot, there’s no helping you.

  12. muckthefets23 - Dec 28, 2012 at 10:53 AM

    “I am serious… And don’t call me Shirley.”

  13. soxfan1966 - Dec 28, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    Mike Napoli is saying “My momma no raise no dummies. I dug her rap”

    The Red Sox are saying “I say, let ‘em crash”

    Napoli’s agent is saying “Municipal bonds. I’m talking AAA rating.”

    • jwbiii - Dec 28, 2012 at 1:27 PM

      jwbiii says “My momma no raise no dummies. I lived wid my grandmomma.”

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