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Snark does not translate well into Japanese

Jan 8, 2013, 6:29 AM EDT

Yu Darvish Getty MLB debut Getty Images

Yesterday I put up a short post about the plans in Japan to build a Yu Darvish museum. In it I made a few jokes playing off the idea that Darvish, for all of his success in Japan, has yet to create a museum-worthy track record in the United States, so it may be amusing to Americans to hear about a museum actually being built for him. I likened it to a Tuffy Rhodes or Warren Cromartie museum, two players who also saw much greater success in NPB than in the U.S.

That apparently didn’t play too well in Japan.  Patrick Newman of NPB tracker forwards me an article from Sanspo, a daily Japanese sports newspaper, with the headline “Harsh words for the Darvish Museum.”  Google translate does pretty poorly with Japanese, it seems, but the best I can tell is that the writer is mad at me for what directly translates to “dry coverage,” which I’m going to guess is something close to sarcasm or snark or something. There is a reference at the end to “yakkamu,” which seems to mean jealousy. Perhaps the writer is saying I’m jealous? I’m not really sure.

Sorry folks, didn’t mean to be harsh. I like Darvish. I think he’s a swell pitcher and I do appreciate how good he was in Japan. I’m simply going to take some amusement at the idea of a museum being built for someone who is only 26 no matter who he is or where he gained his fame.

And no, there is no way I’m getting into an Internet fight across languages. Even my trolling and snarking has its limits.

  1. number42is1 - Jan 8, 2013 at 6:38 AM

    Here is how I picture it going down if you choose to get into it with them Criag

  2. yankeepunk3000 - Jan 8, 2013 at 6:46 AM

    tu eres muy seco in tu chistes en ingles…meaning you have a dry humor…the war can continue in 3 languages now!!!! Ariba ariba!!! andale!!!

    • blacksables - Jan 8, 2013 at 7:13 AM

      Você tem um humor seco.

      • protius - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:17 AM

        Su hermana es dos veces una virgen.

      • blacksables - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:27 AM

        That’s a neat trick. How did she do it?

  3. darthicarus - Jan 8, 2013 at 7:08 AM

    Craig has started an international incident, wonderful.

    • historiophiliac - Jan 8, 2013 at 7:48 AM

      Well, he did bring up Darvish’s mom. That’ll get you a fight where I’m from.

  4. bobdira - Jan 8, 2013 at 7:10 AM

    Thank you for cementing my long standing feeling that reading your posts are a complete waste of my time. Thankfully there are others who post to HBT that have a grasp of what is funny and/or newsworthy. Adios Craig.

    • proudlycanadian - Jan 8, 2013 at 7:46 AM

      Adios Bob

      • heyblueyoustink - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:03 AM

        Shouldn’t it be “Au Revoir, Bob”?

      • proudlycanadian - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:06 AM

        Niet!

      • escapingexile - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:24 AM

        Russian? Well played, sir.

      • proudlycanadian - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:27 AM

        Danke

      • escapingexile - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:31 AM

        Pozhalusta

      • number42is1 - Jan 8, 2013 at 9:16 AM

        Bob had bitch tits

      • proudlycanadian - Jan 8, 2013 at 9:56 AM

        That last comment about Bob was a tad unnecessary.

      • number42is1 - Jan 8, 2013 at 10:55 AM

        sorry… but i cannot tell if you are joking or not

      • proudlycanadian - Jan 8, 2013 at 11:14 AM

        See the comment below by Stex. That was all that was necessary. The personal comment you made must have seemed to be funny to you when you made it, but was rather uncalled for.

      • number42is1 - Jan 8, 2013 at 11:28 AM

        sorry. i truly thought you would get it right out the gate. please see link and that should explain all

        http://bit.ly/ZCFGGI

      • proudlycanadian - Jan 8, 2013 at 11:42 AM

        Thanks. I was totally unaware of the source of your comment.

    • stex52 - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:20 AM

      Bye bye Bob. I guess I had missed that you were here. Come back any time.

  5. sisisisisisisi - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:04 AM

    Would it help if you first translate that article to Chinese, then English? You may feel a lot better that way Craig.

  6. heyblueyoustink - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:05 AM

    Write a post about cute Anime cosplays and your enjoyment of whale fin soup: you can win them back.

  7. therealtrenches - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:21 AM

    It wasn’t funny in English. Why blame the language barrier?

  8. escapingexile - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:22 AM

    I, for one, appreciate the snark. This starts my morning off well.

  9. stex52 - Jan 8, 2013 at 8:23 AM

    At least you didn’t mention them needing to import more agricultural products from the US. We’d probably be at war this morning.

  10. number42is1 - Jan 8, 2013 at 9:18 AM

    from google translate
    “You are filled with Yakkamu? I just want to blow it in the heat of the mound to throw dry coverage.”

    nuff said

  11. tfbuckfutter - Jan 8, 2013 at 9:45 AM

    The Japanese translation of the headline was “Craig Calcaterra: Macho Business Donkey Wrestler”

    /obscure

    • Reflex - Jan 8, 2013 at 4:43 PM

      I absolutely cannot thumbs this up enough. Jimmy James: The man so nice they named him twice!

      My all time fav comedy.

      • tfbuckfutter - Jan 8, 2013 at 5:34 PM

        STINKBUTT

      • tommyshih - Jan 8, 2013 at 6:36 PM

        Super Karate Monkey Death Car

      • tfbuckfutter - Jan 8, 2013 at 7:17 PM

        Bitchcakes.

  12. cur68 - Jan 8, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    Last year it was PhillyPhans & Aquaman being offended. So far this year its The Nation of Japan. Man, Craig, you just a trolling phool. What’s next? Taking on The Martians?

  13. thereisaparty - Jan 8, 2013 at 12:14 PM

    Sandy Koufax had six dominant seasons, and little else. Yu Darvish had 7 (even more) dominant seasons in the NPB. In this context it doesn’t seem as absurd for him to have a museum.

  14. daubs17 - Jan 8, 2013 at 12:25 PM

    Cool Craig we’re all so proud of you, keep patting yourself on the back for Japanese sports media making fun of you

  15. Jonny 5 - Jan 8, 2013 at 12:31 PM

    Well if you really want to get them going over there, write a scathing report on how the Orix Buffaloes employ racist mascots in Ripsea and Neppie. I see those big round eyes, how could I not with these obviously round eyes to see them with? But the big stupid look on their face and huge eyes might offend a whitey or two, so it could be relevant.

  16. Max Power - Jan 8, 2013 at 1:22 PM

    In 1984 Bolivia almost boycotted the Los Angeles Summer Olympics because of something Tony Kornheiser wrote. Keep at it, you’ll get there!

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