Jan 9, 2013, 2:33 PM EDT
Hi, I’m Mike Piazza.*
Do you remember me? Normally I wouldn’t ask that because I seem to remember being quite famous a few years ago, but it seems like several hundred people whose business it was to follow my career have forgotten me, and I just don’t know how to deal with that. I mean, I know there were better players than me, but I hit .308/.377/.545 for my career with 427 homers in 16 seasons. My career OPS+ was 143. The next three catchers on that list whose careers have already ended are Mickey Cochrane, Bill Dickey and Johnny Bench, and they’re way behind. I played in the World Series. Everyone said when I played that I was heading to the Hall of Fame.
But today I got just 57.8% of the vote, and at the risk of sounding arrogant, I think that’s kinda light, don’t you?
It’s almost as if someone is holding something against me and my Hall of Fame candidacy apart from what I did on the field. I know that’s possible! It happens to a lot of players these days. But (again, sorry for being narcissistic) I Googled myself and I couldn’t find a single article written which presents any facts which would reasonably lead someone to withhold their vote. I wasn’t named on any lists or outed in anyone’s book. There’s just … nothing.
It’s almost as if 42.8% of the Hall of Fame electorate has been talking about me behind my back, too cowardly to come out and accuse me of something, yet holding that something against me all the same. I’m just a simple man from Pennsylvania and I don’t necessarily understand how everything in the world works, but that strikes me as kinda wrong.
Sorry if that’s rude, but it beats the other explanation I have in mind: that 42.8% of the BBWAA are blithering idiots and wouldn’t know a Hall of Fame catcher if Carlton Fisk fell out of the sky, landed on their face and started to wiggle.
Thanks for your time.
*At least we here are assuming this was Mike Piazza. We heard this voice with a distinct Pennsylvania accent saying these words in our head moments after the Hall of Fame results were announced and felt duty-bound to put to pen to paper in order to preserve them for posterity.
Mar 31, 2015, 5:15 PM EDT
He just opted out of his deal with the Sox last week.
Mar 31, 2015, 4:42 PM EDT
Why is this man smiling when his team appears to be destined for last place?
Mar 31, 2015, 4:17 PM EDT
“Sheer panic … things got very bad, very quickly.”
Mar 31, 2015, 3:40 PM EDT
Nice little loophole.
Mar 31, 2015, 3:02 PM EDT
WIll this man be smiling in October?
Mar 31, 2015, 2:14 PM EDT
Chavez appeared in 80 games for the Mariners last season.
Mar 31, 2015, 2:00 PM EDT
It’s supposedly just an arm cramp, but Brad Ausmus isn’t ruling out the DL.
Mar 31, 2015, 1:00 PM EDT
A long-overdue measure will, apparently, soon be in place.
Mar 31, 2015, 12:46 PM EDT
Wright had a rough spring, allowing 11 runs in eight appearances.
Mar 31, 2015, 12:30 PM EDT
With this team, they’ll need it.
Mar 31, 2015, 12:16 PM EDT
Petricka saved 14 games with a 2.96 ERA and 55/33 K/BB ratio in 73 innings last season.
Mar 31, 2015, 11:50 AM EDT
“I’m encouraged by it, and we’ll see how it carries over into the season.”
Mar 31, 2015, 11:33 AM EDT
But most people can afford tickets or are paid to play the games are decidedly not blue collar.
Mar 31, 2015, 11:19 AM EDT
He got the nod over Mark Buehrle.
Mar 31, 2015, 11:02 AM EDT
Jenna and I talk about the Mariners’ dynamite pitching staff, Mike Trout’s need of some support and when the Astros will finally break into the picture.
Mar 31, 2015, 10:47 AM EDT
Probably destined for a part-time gig.
Mar 31, 2015, 10:30 AM EDT
The Phillies outfield is gonna be a train wreck.
Mar 31, 2015, 10:15 AM EDT
Street is without an agent, representing himself, and has said he won’t negotiate after Opening Day.
Mar 31, 2015, 9:50 AM EDT
There is still a lot of time before anything can happen, but it’s looking less and less likely that the Rays will stay in Tampa Bay.
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