Jan 9, 2013, 2:33 PM EDT
Hi, I’m Mike Piazza.*
Do you remember me? Normally I wouldn’t ask that because I seem to remember being quite famous a few years ago, but it seems like several hundred people whose business it was to follow my career have forgotten me, and I just don’t know how to deal with that. I mean, I know there were better players than me, but I hit .308/.377/.545 for my career with 427 homers in 16 seasons. My career OPS+ was 143. The next three catchers on that list whose careers have already ended are Mickey Cochrane, Bill Dickey and Johnny Bench, and they’re way behind. I played in the World Series. Everyone said when I played that I was heading to the Hall of Fame.
But today I got just 57.8% of the vote, and at the risk of sounding arrogant, I think that’s kinda light, don’t you?
It’s almost as if someone is holding something against me and my Hall of Fame candidacy apart from what I did on the field. I know that’s possible! It happens to a lot of players these days. But (again, sorry for being narcissistic) I Googled myself and I couldn’t find a single article written which presents any facts which would reasonably lead someone to withhold their vote. I wasn’t named on any lists or outed in anyone’s book. There’s just … nothing.
It’s almost as if 42.8% of the Hall of Fame electorate has been talking about me behind my back, too cowardly to come out and accuse me of something, yet holding that something against me all the same. I’m just a simple man from Pennsylvania and I don’t necessarily understand how everything in the world works, but that strikes me as kinda wrong.
Sorry if that’s rude, but it beats the other explanation I have in mind: that 42.8% of the BBWAA are blithering idiots and wouldn’t know a Hall of Fame catcher if Carlton Fisk fell out of the sky, landed on their face and started to wiggle.
Thanks for your time.
*At least we here are assuming this was Mike Piazza. We heard this voice with a distinct Pennsylvania accent saying these words in our head moments after the Hall of Fame results were announced and felt duty-bound to put to pen to paper in order to preserve them for posterity.
Jul 28, 2014, 1:51 PM EDT
Twins outfielder Oswaldo Arcia was unhappy about striking out yesterday against the White Sox, so he snapped his bat over his knee, Bo Jackson-style.
Jul 28, 2014, 1:39 PM EDT
The NFL weighed in on domestic violence and concluded “eh, no big deal.” MLB has tended to avoid the matter altogether.
Jul 28, 2014, 1:18 PM EDT
Braves right fielder Jason Heyward left this afternoon’s game what the team is calling lower back soreness.
Jul 28, 2014, 12:46 PM EDT
Gwynn had a brief run as a regular for the Padres and Dodgers, but he profiles strictly as a backup outfielder at this point and at age 31 will likely have to prove himself at Triple-A for a while after hitting just .163 in 67 games for the Phillies.
“If The Boss Was Still Alive” Watch: George Steinbrenner was absent from Joe Torre’s Hall of Fame speech
Jul 28, 2014, 12:30 PM EDT
Soon we’ll be praying to Steinbrenner before every meal and thanking him for all that He has bestowed upon us.
Jul 28, 2014, 11:50 AM EDT
During his 13-year MLB career Dmitri Young was one of the largest players in baseball, often struggling with his weight while being listed at 6-foot-2, 295 pounds.
Jul 28, 2014, 11:35 AM EDT
Because of course he did.
Jul 28, 2014, 11:19 AM EDT
Ubaldo Jimenez was scratched from his scheduled minor-league rehab start last week, but now the Orioles right-hander is slated to start Tuesday at Triple-A as he comes back from an ankle injury.
Jul 28, 2014, 11:08 AM EDT
Sportswriting’s biggest star around reduces one of the most interesting and well-drawn female characters in all of sports movies to “a tramp.”
Jul 28, 2014, 10:47 AM EDT
With an MLB-worst 41-64 record the Rangers are obviously looking to sell at the trade deadline and right fielder Alex Rios seems likely to be moved before July 31.
Jul 28, 2014, 10:15 AM EDT
First baseman/outfielder Mike Carp has asked the Red Sox for a trade and apparently left-hander Felix Doubront wouldn’t mind leaving Boston either.
Jul 28, 2014, 9:46 AM EDT
Kids once grew up wanting to be star athletes. Now they grow up wanting to be GMs.
Jul 28, 2014, 9:17 AM EDT
And his reaction to PED users in the Hall of Fame? “Are you f***ing kidding me?”
Jul 28, 2014, 8:55 AM EDT
Local man goes on national TV to complain that he was humiliated by being put on national TV.
Jul 28, 2014, 8:23 AM EDT
It’s “less” vs. “fewer” time in Grammatical Thunderdome.
Jul 28, 2014, 6:32 AM EDT
The Dodgers sweep their rivals in San Francisco, the Rays complain about Big Papi and I complain about Southwest Airlines messing with my kids’ vacation.
Jul 27, 2014, 11:05 PM EDT
Ian Kennedy’s left oblique is bothering him, so he’ll miss tomorrow’s start against the Braves.
Jul 27, 2014, 10:35 PM EDT
The Padres are expected to get Jedd Gyorko back from the DL, but lose Carlos Quentin on Monday.
Jul 27, 2014, 9:40 PM EDT
Josh Harrison kept the PIrates in the mix in Sunday’s game against the Rockies by using his legs.
Jul 27, 2014, 8:45 PM EDT
Pitchers do not want to be facing Carlos Santana right now.
- And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights 45
- Mariners’ interest in Matt Kemp is “very real” 26
- Astros players upset over Mark Appel’s promotion to Double-A, bullpen session in Houston 42
- Four theories about the Hall of Fame voting changes 24
- Troy Tulowitzki is visiting a sports hernia surgeon 10
- Settling the Score: Saturday’s results 29
- Giants acquire Jake Peavy from Red Sox 55
- Maximum stay on Hall of Fame ballot changed from 15 to 10 years 66
- Expert’s Corner: How to troll fans of all 30 teams (201)
- Verducci: baseball should think about an “illegal defense” rule to combat shifts (165)
- Yankees acquire Chase Headley from Padres (108)
- Who is the next Face of Baseball? (97)
- David Ortiz passes Carl Yastrzemski on the all-time home run list — is he a Hall of Famer? (92)