Jan 9, 2013, 2:33 PM EDT
Hi, I’m Mike Piazza.*
Do you remember me? Normally I wouldn’t ask that because I seem to remember being quite famous a few years ago, but it seems like several hundred people whose business it was to follow my career have forgotten me, and I just don’t know how to deal with that. I mean, I know there were better players than me, but I hit .308/.377/.545 for my career with 427 homers in 16 seasons. My career OPS+ was 143. The next three catchers on that list whose careers have already ended are Mickey Cochrane, Bill Dickey and Johnny Bench, and they’re way behind. I played in the World Series. Everyone said when I played that I was heading to the Hall of Fame.
But today I got just 57.8% of the vote, and at the risk of sounding arrogant, I think that’s kinda light, don’t you?
It’s almost as if someone is holding something against me and my Hall of Fame candidacy apart from what I did on the field. I know that’s possible! It happens to a lot of players these days. But (again, sorry for being narcissistic) I Googled myself and I couldn’t find a single article written which presents any facts which would reasonably lead someone to withhold their vote. I wasn’t named on any lists or outed in anyone’s book. There’s just … nothing.
It’s almost as if 42.8% of the Hall of Fame electorate has been talking about me behind my back, too cowardly to come out and accuse me of something, yet holding that something against me all the same. I’m just a simple man from Pennsylvania and I don’t necessarily understand how everything in the world works, but that strikes me as kinda wrong.
Sorry if that’s rude, but it beats the other explanation I have in mind: that 42.8% of the BBWAA are blithering idiots and wouldn’t know a Hall of Fame catcher if Carlton Fisk fell out of the sky, landed on their face and started to wiggle.
Thanks for your time.
*At least we here are assuming this was Mike Piazza. We heard this voice with a distinct Pennsylvania accent saying these words in our head moments after the Hall of Fame results were announced and felt duty-bound to put to pen to paper in order to preserve them for posterity.
Jul 1, 2015, 9:12 AM EDT
Which, in reality, is a really dumb thing to mock the Mets for.
Jul 1, 2015, 8:07 AM EDT
It seems that if you battle with Mike Scioscia, you’re going to lose.
Jul 1, 2015, 7:31 AM EDT
Shutouts are rare in baseball these days. M’s rookie Mike Montgomery has two in a row.
Jun 30, 2015, 10:05 PM EDT
Banuelos has rebuilt some of his early-career hype this summer with the Braves’ Triple-A affiliate in Gwinnett, Georgia, posting 2.29 ERA and 1.22 WHIP across 82 2/3 innings (15 starts).
Jun 30, 2015, 8:26 PM EDT
Watch as Dee Gordon belts a ball into the right-center field gap and turns on the jets …
Jun 30, 2015, 7:41 PM EDT
Gyorko was optioned to the minors on June 10 after batting .210/.282/.311 over his first 131 plate appearances …
Jun 30, 2015, 6:35 PM EDT
Tim Lincecum will be placed on the disabled list with a forearm bruise to open a rotation spot.
Jun 30, 2015, 5:23 PM EDT
Like pretty much everyone else, actually.
Jun 30, 2015, 4:29 PM EDT
Which was pretty much the only choice they had, yes?
Jun 30, 2015, 3:58 PM EDT
Let us use this column to talk a bit about how rumors got started back in the day and how they get started now.
Jun 30, 2015, 3:20 PM EDT
Gallo played 25 games in his first taste of the big leagues.
Jun 30, 2015, 2:46 PM EDT
Chris Bassitt will start in his place.
Jun 30, 2015, 2:31 PM EDT
No one is quite sure when All-Star third baseman David Wright will be back.
Jun 30, 2015, 1:48 PM EDT
Not that anyone really wants you to know it’s up for bid.
Jun 30, 2015, 12:46 PM EDT
He’s making $4.8 million.
Jun 30, 2015, 12:30 PM EDT
The old park housed the Eugene Emeralds until 2009
Jun 30, 2015, 12:02 PM EDT
Two men enter. One man leaves.
Jun 30, 2015, 11:26 AM EDT
I’d like to tell you a story about bullpen history and a young man named Tony La Russa.
Jun 30, 2015, 10:47 AM EDT
The majority of the baseball-watching world hasn’t seemed to notice yet.
Jun 30, 2015, 10:15 AM EDT
Warren had a 3.59 ERA in 14 starts.
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