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The Miami Marlins are holding a job fair

Jan 14, 2013, 11:03 AM EDT

Job Fair

Via Maury Brown, I stumbled across the following:

The Marlins will be hosting a Job Fair on Tuesday, January 15th from 10 A.M. to 7 P.M. at Marlins Park, located at 501 Marlins Way, Miami, FL 33125.

Bring your mitt. You may be their third best infielder.

But don’t worry. If you don’t make the team and are forced to accept some operations or concessions position, at least you’ll have Jeff Loria for a boss.

  1. cardinalcrazy - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    Please note, even if you are hired for some operations or concessions position, you are subject to be traded to any other team at any given time.

  2. cebig - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:12 AM

    Something smells fishy here……

  3. darthicarus - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:17 AM

    I’m applying for GM. I’ve successfully taken fantasy baseball teams from championships to cellar dwellers with a few ill-conceived trades and bad roster management. I should fit right in.

    • paperlions - Jan 14, 2013 at 1:23 PM

      Do you have experience in auction leagues? They probably want to make sure you can avoid spending money.

      • darthicarus - Jan 14, 2013 at 1:57 PM

        I have done auction leagues & usually end up with $ leftover, pretty sure that’s bullet point #1 on my resume.

  4. zzalapski - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:22 AM

    Wonder if Taylor Grey Meyer would apply to this job fair.

  5. mrfloydpink - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:25 AM

    Old Gator hasn’t been posting this morning. Guess we know why.

    • darthicarus - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:31 AM

      He wanted to make sure he was first in line for tomorrow?

      • Old Gator - Jan 14, 2013 at 12:18 PM

        I actually went to a Feesh job fair back some years ago when John Henry owned the team – they do this every weenter, by the way – and applied for a concessionaire position just to see what would happen. They had tables set up on the field near the dugouts where you sat when you name was called and filled out forms and answered probing inquiries like “como estas hoy?” I made the mistake of using too many two-syllable words on my application and was invited back for a second interview for a low-level managerial position – dispatching peanut vendors from the commissary rather than actually being a peanut vendor, stuff like that. This meant, of course, that your children were safe – no one was going to be brained by an errant bag of overpriced peanuts. I met with two guys in a small dull green orifice with terrazzo flooring that smelled like stale nicotine somewhere in the bowels of the then y’clept ProRobbie Stadium. They asked me if I had any managerial experience, and I told them no, but I had been a bench coach in little league when my kids were playing. They looked at each other. Then they asked me if I been in the military, by which time I had kinda tired of the subterfuge and said, yeah, I fought in the siege of Petersburg and Newmarket. I didn’t say on which side. They thanked me for my time and I never heard from them again.

        The subject of what position I played was never brought up – but then, this was the John Henry regime, after all.

        And as I have so often had to assert, I am not making this up. But those of you who actually know me wouldn’t bother to challenge me on it anyway.

      • jwbiii - Jan 14, 2013 at 2:52 PM

        I was guessing that Old Gator was in the Everglades at dawn for opening day of the python season.

      • Old Gator - Jan 14, 2013 at 5:03 PM

        Ackcherley, it kicked off in Davie, where some rangers and handlers gave a bunch of neophytes some training in how to handle large pythons – and probably letting them sign living wills, too. Of the 800 or so folks who signed up for the hunt, 749 of them had no permits or prior training in python hunting.

        It reminded me of Richard Dreyfus’ comment while walking away from the dock and that haphazardly constituted flotilla of clueless bounty shark hunters in Jaws: “You’re all gonna die.”

        The director of the hunt feels differently, though: “”We feel like anybody can get out in the Everglades and figure out how to try and find these things,” said Nick Wiley, executive director of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. “It’s very safe, getting out in the Everglades. People do it all the time.”

        He’s probably gonna die too.

      • cur68 - Jan 14, 2013 at 5:56 PM

        That Jaws analogy was excellent. You’re Quint in this deal, aintcha? Tell me, are you going to need a bigger boat, too?

      • Old Gator - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:48 PM

        It was Brody who wanted the bigger boat. Poor Bruce.

  6. amaninwhite - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:41 AM

    To those of you who doubted Loria when he said a new ballpark would improve the economy, I bet you feel pretty silly right about now.

    • Old Gator - Jan 14, 2013 at 12:21 PM

      You joke, but a sizable percentage of the real disposable income of former Feesh fans is going to be redistributed as tips to Publix and Winn Dixie checkout baggers because these people won’t be bothering to go to any games. So yeah, Scrooge McLoria really has improved the local economy.

  7. lew24 - Jan 14, 2013 at 11:53 AM

    Job Fair? I thought they already hired a manager!

  8. felixinmiami - Jan 24, 2013 at 5:40 PM

    What a joke this owner is. I love baseball and I want to root for the Marlins so bad, but this underwear stain of an owner makes it hard to even think of the Marlins.

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